I haven't had a Significant Other for a long, long... l o n n n n n g... long time, but I sure had a strange thing in my own pocket once...
There was this pale grey summer-weight suit I used to wear, very dressy, and once night I wore it to a ritzy party given to launch the new NBC network season on a station I did some work with in Austin. That was in early fall, and after the party, I hung the suit in the back of the closet and let it retire for the season.
The following spring, I dug out the suit and put it on -- and felt something in one of the patch pockets on the jacket. I pulled it out: a tiny plastic bag smaller than a business card, heat-sealed shut all around. And inside was about a tablespoon of white powder.
This was in the '80s, so I had a pretty good idea what that white powder was. My first thought was that someone had placed it in my pocket during the evening as a kind of misguided "party favor"... or maybe someone suddenly feared he was about to be caught with it, and dropped it into my
pocket just to get it out of his own.
Or maybe... maybe someone was trying to set me up! If so, just how narrowly had I escaped?
I worried myself silly trying to decide what to do with the thing. I thought about taking it to a police station, but I was afraid they might just arrest me on the spot. I thought of simply throwing it away, but then I remembered reading an article on Bob Dylan written by a man who had gone through Dylan's trash cans
... and even though I was not the least bit famous, I feared that someone might be going through mine, too.
After a couple of days, I became too paranoid to keep it in the house another minute. Late one night, I put it in my purse and drove down to Town Lake, which is what they call the river that flows (very slowly) through downtown Austin. I parked and walked out onto the Congress Avenue bridge (the one that's now world-famous for the bat colony that lives underneath it), looked around furtively, and tossed the little packet over the railing. I watched it flutter down to the dark water, float for a few moments, and finally sink into blessed oblivion.
And then I drove home feeling like a desperate criminal, just waiting for the flashing lights to come up behind me...