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Hes up to it again

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 
Awhile back I posted about my friends hubby texting me, right?? Well hes doing it again today!! I am going to save the messages this time...

He keeps asking me when I can call him! Ugghh....go away!

What should I do guys??
post #2 of 29
You might consider telling his wife. Or maybe tell him that if he persists you will tell his wife...
post #3 of 29
Most of us told you last time that it is better to risk losing your friend and tell her the truth than to keep it to yourself. That is STILL my opinion. He is a loser, plain to see, and if it isn't you he's chasing it WILL be someone else.

I would tell her immediately. Relationships come and go, but true friends are there to stay, even through bumps. This is a BIG bump.

How much do you care about her? I say, if you love her, you will TELL her. Sometimes the truth hurts, but it is still better than lies.
post #4 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by GingersMom View Post
Most of us told you last time that it is better to risk losing your friend and tell her the truth than to keep it to yourself. That is STILL my opinion. He is a loser, plain to see, and if it isn't you he's chasing it WILL be someone else.

I would tell her immediately. Relationships come and go, but true friends are there to stay, even through bumps. This is a BIG bump.

How much do you care about her? I say, if you love her, you will TELL her. Sometimes the truth hurts, but it is still better than lies.
I wish someone had told me about my ex when they knew. But noone told me.
post #5 of 29
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by GingersMom View Post
Most of us told you last time that it is better to risk losing your friend and tell her the truth than to keep it to yourself. That is STILL my opinion. He is a loser, plain to see, and if it isn't you he's chasing it WILL be someone else.

I would tell her immediately. Relationships come and go, but true friends are there to stay, even through bumps. This is a BIG bump.

How much do you care about her? I say, if you love her, you will TELL her. Sometimes the truth hurts, but it is still better than lies.
I know, I am going to probly show her these text this time. That way she can take it or leave it.......

I know he is just plain annoying, as HELL!!!
post #6 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phenomsmom View Post
I wish someone had told me about my ex when they knew. But noone told me.
Me too!

could have helped wiv the heartbreak a little easier knowing i had a friend that was truthful wiv me. i know from experience!!!

please tell her or show her the messages or even better set a trap with your friend to catch him out
post #7 of 29
What do you mean "what do I do?" Tell him to back off jerk!
post #8 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phenomsmom View Post
I wish someone had told me about my ex when they knew. But noone told me.
I had to find out the hard way....came home and my husband was in bed with my best friend. You need to tell her, and show her the messages. Then she'll know you're not making it up. Unfortunately, she still may take it out on you. It's hard to learn that your spouse is unfaithful...or even considering it.
post #9 of 29
If I were you, I would just call her and ask if she's where she can check her email right now -- because you don't want her husband to get the email before she does. And then tell her you're sending her something you hate to send, but you feel an obligation to her as a friend, so here it is... and please to call you back if she wants to talk.

And then just forward his emails directly to her. By forwarding them, you ensure that she can see clearly that they're real.

If I were in her place, I would be eternally grateful to you -- it's a real friend who will tell you the truth even when it's painful.
post #10 of 29
You must tell your friend. If that were my DH doing that, I'd want to know. Then, I'd kick his sorry butt to the curb. Anyway you slice it, it's a form of cheating. And, if he's brazen enough to be doing this to you, then what else has he done with women you and your friend don't know about..... God, men are such pigs sometimes!!!!!
post #11 of 29
Here's a thought if you don't really want to be the person to tell your friend but you do want her to find out what he's up to - why not text him back and invite him to your place for an intimate evening. Then, call your friend and invite her over for a girls-only night that same evening (but, have her come over before he arrives). Then when he arrives at your place, she can ask him what he's doing there, while you slip into a back room so they can duke it out.
post #12 of 29
Did ya ignore it... Maybe he will get the hint and stop or like others said tell the wife...
post #13 of 29
A friends husband did the same to my other friend as well a while ago, only he used to ring her at home It got to the point where she would ask us to ring once and hang up, then ring again and she would answer. But then she bought a telephone with caller display on so she would be able to ignore it when she noticed his number.

Have you not told him to naff off?!
post #14 of 29
I would tell my friend too. I'd show her or send her the text messages so she knows exactly what he's saying.
post #15 of 29
Definately tell his wife, and I'd probably let your husband know too, just so nothing gets twisted through the grape vine, you know?

Maybe too he can go over there and straighten the guy out. That would be a plus
post #16 of 29
Thread Starter 
Ok, heres the scoop....... I finally got a text from HER this afternoon, she had been working all day, so I couldnt tell her while I knew his nasty ass wouldnt be there. Anyhoo-when I made it to her moms so I could show her, low and behold he was there!! I had just got done texting her and telling her to make sure she was alone!!! Ugghh......I told her I would get ahold of her later, so hopefully we can find a time when hes not stuck up her a**!! He is sooooo uncontrollably(sp?) jealous and up her a** 24/7....I dunno how she stands it!! So I will probly end up telling my husband as well. I feel sorry for the jerk though, because my hubbys like 10x his size!!
post #17 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by catloverin_ks View Post
Ok, heres the scoop....... I finally got a text from HER this afternoon, she had been working all day, so I couldnt tell her while I knew his nasty ass wouldnt be there. Anyhoo-when I made it to her moms so I could show her, low and behold he was there!! I had just got done texting her and telling her to make sure she was alone!!! Ugghh......I told her I would get ahold of her later, so hopefully we can find a time when hes not stuck up her a**!! He is sooooo uncontrollably(sp?) jealous and up her a** 24/7....I dunno how she stands it!! So I will probly end up telling my husband as well. I feel sorry for the jerk though, because my hubbys like 10x his size!!
He's jealous and he's sending you messages...how ironic...
post #18 of 29
I would tell his wife and your husband. Show them the texts and then it should be between him and his wife.
post #19 of 29
What the heck does he have to be jealous about - he's the one acting like a @#@$#! Show her the messages! What a slime!
post #20 of 29
I would've said something in front of him. "Gotten any good texts lately? I HAVE!"
post #21 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by catloverin_ks View Post
Awhile back I posted about my friends hubby texting me, right?? Well hes doing it again today!! I am going to save the messages this time...

He keeps asking me when I can call him! Ugghh....go away!

What should I do guys??
What exactly is he "texting" to you?

Are you sure you aren't misunderstanding his intentions?
post #22 of 29
Hang on a sec... what's the problem with showing her the texts while he is there? She's going to have to tear him a new one at some point after she finds out... just show them to her, whether or not he's there... heck, if he IS there, she can check his phone at the same time and double-confirm that they came from him.

I really hope this doesn't come off the wrong way, but... you owe it to your friend not to stall. At the end of the day the guy is a slimeball... she needs to know sooner rather than later so that, even if nothing else, she can go and get herself tested for STDs. Because while it's great that YOU'RE shunning him* other women might not be.

It's more than an emotional issue and I don't know whether or not that was brought up in the other thread. Her health could very well be at risk, here, now and in the future. I know you don't want that to happen to your friend at all, and it would eat you up inside if she ended up catching something from him while you were talking to us and feeling squirmy about blowing the lid off of the thing.

I'm sorry this asshat has put you in this position, and I'm triply sorry for his poor wife. I just hate people sometimes.
post #23 of 29
Tell him eff off...what kind of perv is he??!! Dear lord.
post #24 of 29
I would show her the texts and let her know that her hubby is a loser and no good for her.
post #25 of 29
It is tempting to put him on the spot as you suggest, Jenje -- but it limits his wife's options on how to handle the knowledge. Also, you never know how people will respond to pressure. What if he became violent?

Better to just give the wife the facts and then stay as far out of the situation as possible, I think.
post #26 of 29
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
What exactly is he "texting" to you?

Are you sure you aren't misunderstanding his intentions?
Umm NOO I cant post some of the things he said.....

Well I mean, I guess I could, but, probly better that I dont. Trust me, I know what his intentions are!
I finally had a talk with his wife tonite, and she didnt get mad at me(thank goodness) because she just caught him doing something similar not long ago!!

She told me she would tell me what happened, but I have yet to hear from her.
post #27 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolPetunia View Post
It is tempting to put him on the spot as you suggest, Jenje -- but it limits his wife's options on how to handle the knowledge. Also, you never know how people will respond to pressure. What if he became violent?
Best for him to get violent when it's not just he and the wife -- yes?
post #28 of 29
I think you did the right thing by telling his wife
post #29 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
I finally had a talk with his wife tonite, and she didnt get mad at me(thank goodness) because she just caught him doing something similar not long ago!!
Pfffft no wonder she didn't get mad, sounds like she's used to this behaviour with him.
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