should i just move all ready? do I stay with the boyfriend?

ladycat · Mar 27, 2007

how hard will it be to find a place with 5 cats? what if I say 3? i know it's just starting to get warm but I'm in a crappy neighborhood...and in the winter...how does one get a $330 gas bill and still be cold? I could go on and on....Should I just rent a house that includes utilities? Sheesh, with our utilities now it's about 1200. We will need a air conditioner in this place too...it was insane last summer. oh and yes should i stay with the boyfriend?I care about him and all that good stuff and I can try to be happy enough. Am I aloud to mention orientations of sort? well that is my issue....UG....

ilovesiamese · Mar 27, 2007

hmm wow...it's pretty hard to say what you should do because I don't really know what's going on and such.

I know around here, it's getting extremely difficult to find a place to rent that allows children, let alone pets. And the rent here is OUT OF CONTROL!!!

I've been renting for 5, almost 6 years now and rent is at an all time high! A place in the ghetto costs the same as what a place in the high end of the city cost 2 years ago, now. It's almost impossible to find a decent place to live here.

I'd watch your local adds and talk to your SO about the decision. I say if you can find a place that is affordable in a decent neighborhood that allows pets, then I say go for it

dont_eat_bambi · Mar 27, 2007

I live in a decent apartment with 4 cats( im supposed to have two) I am looking for a house to rent starting in May. I plan on lying and saying we have three. (two of them could be mistaken for each other) This place is just too small.

I would( i have) contact real estate agencies that also rent out houses for people. We also have something called an IWANTA here. There are usually lots of listings for houses in various parts of the area I live in.

Good Luck!

natalie_ca · Mar 27, 2007

If you aren't happy in your relationship, then you shouldn't be in it. It's not fair to either of you for one to only be in it as a safety net or out of need.

When you are in a relationship that is good you won't be asking yourself if you should stay or leave.

As for the cats... it will be hard to find a place for so many cats, however, not impossible.

If finances are a problem then consider a room-mate or two to help defer the costs. That way you can rent a house.

I'm not sure what you mean by "orientations", but if it's sexual, then why deny yourself the right to be happy by going against what you want or need out of a relationship?

kiki_585 · Mar 27, 2007

Don't give up looking for a place. It can be so hard to find somewhere that allows pets (I only have two cats and that was hard enough!) but they do appear once in a while. Just always keep an eye out.

As for the relationship... I am not really sure what to say as I don't know what you mean by "orientations". But if you aren't happy then I wouldn't stay. You gotta do what makes you happy and not just happy enough. My last relationship was really hard on my in that he wanted an open one and I didn't. I stuck around for a long time trying to be okay with it because I loved him so much and I only ended up resenting him and being miserable. If you are going to stay and be "happy enough" I wouldn't. You want to be HAPPY. There are plenty of men out there that will make you really happy, if this one doesn't do it, then find one that does.

That's just my opinion.

ldg · Mar 27, 2007

The only person that can make you happy is you.

But if you're in a relationship that isn't working, then you shouldn't stay - life is too short to waste your time or his.

There are places out there that accept pets. Always best to be honest about the number of cats you have - you don't want to wind up in a situation where you're being evicted and you don't have time to find the right place.

I don't know if you live in an urban area or not, but there are sites that list pet-friendly apartments - though the local papers are always the best place to start. An example of a website that lists pet-friendly places is one like this: http://www.peoplewithpets.com/

I know there are others.

Laurie

ladycat · Mar 27, 2007

the cats are a big worry for me. I know one would be staying with the boyfriend if we part...but Nuit picks on Zoey still and I want Zoey to be happy. Sometimes I worry about the boyfriend being able to care more then one or one for that matter. How hard will it be to find roommates when i have 3-4 cats with me? so many things going through my head...

mybabyphx · Mar 27, 2007

Hey hun. I understand that you may be going through some tough times right now. I think you need to find a place for you and your cats to live alone so you can figure things out. If you and your boyfriend aren't getting along then I don't see no point in sticking it out if it's not going to get better. Not only is life hard on you and him during this time in life, but cats sense your feelings and they are stressed too. Maybe find yourself a small apartment that accepts cats, it will be a whole lot easier

If you keep searching, and don't give up, you'll run across the right place for you and your babies. I wish I could help more, but I don't know all the details. Also, If he's not going to take care of the cats then please don't leave any of them with him.He'll eventually get rid of them or they won't be taken care of properly. Please keep us updated on whats going on... We all love to help

ladycat · Mar 27, 2007

well i don't think he wouldn't care for the cats in that since. I know he isn't the type to just give an animal up. he is just very oblivious to things like health care & what not. Nor do we so much fight, I let him know what''s going on. he is a nice guy. it's just hard...I'm 24 now & we've been together since I was 18. But that darn orientation thing is always coming up.

swampwitch · Mar 27, 2007

Originally Posted by ladycat

how hard will it be to find a place with 5 cats? what if I say 3?...

This has worked very well for us over the years, with two cats.

Have you ever heard of a renter's resume? Property managers and landlords love them. Win them over with your sincerity and charm, and resume, and then mention the cats, and show pictures of the five cute little furballs if you can.

If they like you, often they'll make allowances. We've rented several "No Pets" places this way. Good luck!

carolpetunia · Mar 27, 2007

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

When you are in a relationship that is good you won't be asking yourself if you should stay or leave.

Wise words, indeed...

2dogmom · Mar 27, 2007

I'm not sure if I can offer any advice with your relationship thing...
but I am a landlord and I allow pets (fool!!).
And I can tell you I prefer dogs to cats.
Why? cats claw up banisters and railings, and cat pee stinks. If you had any idea how often I have steam cleaned carpets with cat pee in them, standing in the same spot, running that steam head over and over and over again.

Ok so now hopefully you can see it from the landlord's point of view. Can you offer an extra deposit? Can you get a reference from the landlord before last? (not your present one, landlords NEVER trust glowing references from current landlords because more than likely the renter is a deadbeat they are trying to get rid of. Can you offer to come in and clean one of their other apartments as a gesture of good will? I'm sorry if this is coming off as pet-unfriendly-I am not myself. I have two dogs and a cat and I figure if I allow pets in the few apartments I have, that allows a few more to be saved. But it really is extra work!

Anyway, good luck and I hope you find your solution...

ladycat · Mar 27, 2007

Originally Posted by 2dogmom

I'm not sure if I can offer any advice with your relationship thing...
but I am a landlord and I allow pets (fool!!).
And I can tell you I prefer dogs to cats.
Why? cats claw up banisters and railings, and cat pee stinks. If you had any idea how often I have steam cleaned carpets with cat pee in them, standing in the same spot, running that steam head over and over and over again.

Ok so now hopefully you can see it from the landlord's point of view. Can you offer an extra deposit? Can you get a reference from the landlord before last? (not your present one, landlords NEVER trust glowing references from current landlords because more than likely the renter is a deadbeat they are trying to get rid of. Can you offer to come in and clean one of their other apartments as a gesture of good will? I'm sorry if this is coming off as pet-unfriendly-I am not myself. I have two dogs and a cat and I figure if I allow pets in the few apartments I have, that allows a few more to be saved. But it really is extra work!

Anyway, good luck and I hope you find your solution...

HA, I have never even met my landlord!!! He's never come to fix anything ...our shower fell down on us on week 1 and is taped up at the moment...the windows don't lock right (probly the where the high gas bill comes from)
I actually try to look for hardwood floors just incase any pee problem were to ever really come about (my kitty has a bladder infection now!, but I has managed to only get it on my bed!) plus one of my cats likes to scratch on the rugs. I have cat trees and they are all well behaved as far as housing type stuff though. I can always offer a deposit and yeh I could do the cleaning thing...I got stuck doing that with this place cuz the landlord never even checked between tenants and let us know this. my boyfriend only met the guy once. So I dunno if we could get a good ref from him...not even sure I could get in touch to tell him I want to move!

It would be nice to have a landlord that came around once in a while and actually cared about the property! sorry for the rant about all that!

2dogmom · Mar 27, 2007

Yah sorry, not all landlords are all that great. Like I said, best I can offer and good luck to you!

crittermom · Mar 27, 2007

The only one that can say what you should or shouldn't do, is you.I say that if you aren't happy.......then why stay?
Many vibes for doing the right thing coming your way.

ladycat · Mar 27, 2007

I really don't know if I am, sometimes I think maybe I am just bipolar or something. Something I feel very happy with the boy other times I am ready to pick up & go. It's never anything particular he does. Some stupid smart ass remark or something...or nothing. Moving must come soon i think with or with out him though.

renny · Mar 28, 2007

Well...I wish you all the best in making these tough decisions and transitions. When you're in the middle of the situation it's often hard to get the perspective of the whole big picture. As a landlord (and currently trying to find some tenants), I much prefer honest and open prospective tenants. I'm pretty negotiable about the pets, I just ask with cats that they consider applying SoftPaws, and I of course check to make sure that none are intact. It's tough to find good tenants, and I know it's also hard to find good landlords. Don't let the challenge of finding the right place deter you from leaving if that's what you need to do.

As far as orientation is concerned. You need time and space to think that through clearly.

best of luck!

should i just move all ready? do I stay with the boyfriend?

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