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A question for the MEN

post #1 of 24
Thread Starter 
So my DH and I have had a constant argument. He wants me to do my make up and hair and look like a p*rn star for him the nights we get romantic. I think the fact that I have the energy should be enough. I work full time, he works at home. He does cook but I still clean and take care of the cat everyday after work. I do make up for work and do my hair but I think I should get to be natural at home. He loves me no matter what. I feel quilty if I don't do it.

So what I am wondering, is it important for your woman/partner to put an effort into it? I think the fact that we are willing should be enough. Does make up and hair really make that big of a differance? I do shower but come on the whole procces takes a while.
post #2 of 24
i was never much to plan those things, kinda let them happen when it does.
thats me. After a few years, sex does become kinda like work. you know its saturday night, lets do it. Well that leads to kinda of a blah who cares feeling i think .

As most men are more turned on by what they see(visual). Why do you think there is so much porn on the web. Itta like to do it so i never had to ask for her is the other way around. when we go out, i dress up for vs just the jeans and biker boots, what the term she used hmm metrosexual? i think. i dont like it, but i play the part.

it never hurts to play dress up sometimes. since like i said , its the visual stuff that works for most males. Maybe combine that a night out on the town?, or how about a date night?
post #3 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by theimp98 View Post
its the visual stuff that works for most males. Maybe combine that a night out on the town?, or how about a date night?
I'm with Bruce here, although i'm not a male It'll help keep the spark there as well
post #4 of 24
I have to say, it is a designated night of romance......the requests of your sig. other should be honored. Also a female buttin in.......
post #5 of 24
I'm not a man, but.....

What if you picked up a few items (ie. lingerie or stockings) that make it appear like your in the spirit of dressing up, but unlike make-up or hairstyles they don't require too much effort to put on ?
post #6 of 24
Thread Starter 
We do the date night thing, regularly. I also dress up to keep the spark there. Beleive me we are not hurting in this area. I could be near death with the flu and he would still want me. Its just that I want to know how important is it. I mean I know p*rn is everywhere but are men really that visual. Its a constant battle for us. I would love to give my skin a rest but he freaks and says "well you put makeup on for work why not me?"

Are men realy this shallow or are they really ust that different from woman that they need a bit more than we can give.

Also this is important for all the young couples out there that are having issues. If all is not well in this area then things won't work.
post #7 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by KarmasMom View Post
Are men realy this shallow or are they really ust that different from woman that they need a bit more than we can give.

Also this is important for all the young couples out there that are having issues. If all is not well in this area then things won't work.
your not winning points with that.shallow statement
oh wait, yes we are. and yes we are that different. Its the way men are hard wired, for the most part. common sense can over rule that sometimes but not always.

I have a friend from thailand who is transgender, has had the oepration everything, every guy here that meets him/her, is trying to get nat's phone number. Even when told nat used to be a guy, most are like so what, she looks hot.

I am not saying do it all the time, if its a all the time thing then i would say that is a issue or tell him to get you a bubble bath ready with candles and wine once you get home form work
post #8 of 24
Also not a male....but...I think that making the effort once in a while would be nice. EVERY time is a little much for sure...but I think its important to keep things spicy in the bedroom . If I were you, on occasion, I would spice it up p*rn style for him. But certainly NOT all the time...that would get boring anyway.

And he married you, not Jenna Jamison
post #9 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by KarmasMom View Post
We do the date night thing, regularly. I also dress up to keep the spark there. Beleive me we are not hurting in this area. I could be near death with the flu and he would still want me. Its just that I want to know how important is it. I mean I know p*rn is everywhere but are men really that visual. Its a constant battle for us. I would love to give my skin a rest but he freaks and says "well you put makeup on for work why not me?"

Are men realy this shallow or are they really ust that different from woman that they need a bit more than we can give.

Also this is important for all the young couples out there that are having issues. If all is not well in this area then things won't work.
Men are very very visual when it comes to this stuff..Alot moreso than us women. Its not because they are shallow though, they just can't help it. They are hardwired that way. It doesn't mean they are shallow at all...well of course some of them are..but not your hubby
post #10 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trouts mom View Post
Men are very very visual when it comes to this stuff..Alot moreso than us women. Its not because they are shallow though, they just can't help it. They are hardwired that way. It doesn't mean they are shallow at all...well of course some of them are..but not your hubby
we are hardwired to be shallow its the way it is.
by the way who is Jenna Jamison
post #11 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by theimp98 View Post
I have a friend from thailand who is transgender, has had the oepration everything, every guy here that meets him/her, is trying to get nat's phone number. Even when told nat used to be a guy, most are like so what, she looks hot.
Speaking of guys like your friend. Bruce have you ever seen/heard of a show that travels all over the world called "The Lady Boys of Bangkok"?. They were stunning!! They looked better than some of the females in the audience.
post #12 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rosiemac View Post
Speaking of guys like your friend. Bruce have you ever seen/heard of a show that travels all over the world called "The Lady Boys of Bangkok"?. They were stunning!! They looked better than some of the females in the audience.
I have seen some of the Ladyboys shows in thailand., and i have 2 friends that are.
As my sister said its not fair they look better then most women
however i did not know there was a show that went all over.

Metting nat, kinda changed my mind alot about transgender.
post #13 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by theimp98 View Post
i did not know there was a show that went all over.
It toured the UK 2 years ago and i couldn't take my eyes off them, i was fascinated
post #14 of 24
I don't think there's anything wrong with doing things your partner likes to spice things up... but if it becomes something you need to do all the time, then that's a problem.

It also sounds like you might need some "stimulation" of some sort. If you really don't feel up to it, you need to explain it to your hubby and explain to him what you need (either time by yourself, a nice quiet romantic evening with him, a back rub... whatever).
It's never fun (for anyone) when only one partner is up to it.
post #15 of 24
If it was that important to him (and it obviously is) I would definitely do it.

I think it's a bit much to expect it EVERY time, but every now and again, why not? I think it is important to role-play a bit and be the person to fulfil little fantasies of your partner. After all - you're the one they want to fantasise over, so if thinking about you in a certain way really turns them on then I think it's very important.

Again, if it's a requirement to make him want you then it would be more of a problem than a little fetish. But if as you say there are no issues there and he just wants to do it now and then for fun then definitely I would do it. It's more a question of compromising and being willing to accept and care about his needs, as his partner, than just a cheap thrill. As long as it works both ways, of course.

You never know - it might just end up being the wildest night of your life!!
post #16 of 24
I really don't care if my wife wears make up or not. I prefer the natural look. After all, I don't wear any make up for her As long as she is clean and smells nice It's also what you do before hand as well. I don't like a romantic night to be planned. I like when it just happens out of the blue.
post #17 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by AmberThe Bobcat View Post
I really don't care if my wife wears make up or not. I prefer the natural look. After all, I don't wear any make up for her As long as she is clean and smells nice It's also what you do before hand as well. I don't like a romantic night to be planned. I like when it just happens out of the blue.

yep, i hate the taste of makeup, so the natural look is better, not much for planning those things also,
post #18 of 24
Personally, I'm indifferent. It doesn't matter to me if she dresses up or not I'll love her either way. But my girl always feels obligated to look good for me.
post #19 of 24
I'm not a man, but it's true that men are very visual. If you don't want to do the makeup and hair, how about a little something fun to wear when you get home? It's a lot easier and he won't be looking at your head anyway.

I know how you feel, though, about being tired. I remind myself at those times that keeping my husband's libido fixed on me is worth some effort on my part!
post #20 of 24
Wow my relationship is the complete opposite. I am the visual one & he doesn't care what I am wearing or not wearing, just as long as I don't dress like his mom. Family has told him he married his mom.

So being the visual one in the relationship, yes dressing up does help but it shouldn't be everytime. Give & Take.
post #21 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyforinfo View Post
... just as long as I don't dress like his mom. Family has told him he married his mom.
.
So when you want to permanently damage his brain, all you have to do is borrow some clothes from his mom and wear that when you come out of the bathroom? That will turn him off for a good couple of years.
post #22 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by watchcaddy View Post
So when you want to permanently damage his brain, all you have to do is borrow some clothes from his mom and wear that when you come out of the bathroom? That will turn him off for a good couple of years.
You are BAD!
post #23 of 24
I thought this question was for men?! So, how come all the women are answering? Oh, I forgot, this is a women's site. Personally, I do not much care for makeup. I do not wear makeup and do not expect DW to wear makeup at all. In fact, I can remember watching the academy awards with DW, and she was constantly asking me which of the women I thought was the most beautiful. I answered truthfully that I prefered the ones with the least makeup. The real beautiful women need no makeup. Cats do not wear makeup! OK, having said that I had better get out of here...
post #24 of 24
My husband as a good saying "feed a dog at home, he will not stray". Men are VISUAL creatures. While you might be tired, you should put in the effort every so often - maybe not every time, but do it often enough to keep him interested in you and not want to go look at porn or other women!

I'm dead serious about this. I rarely do makeup, etc. - hubby loves me for who I am (his ex used to take 2 HOURS to put on makeup, etc. and still not much of a difference). I like to get "dressed up" sometimes just because - its a turn on for both of us.

Bet if you do it more often, YOU will get just as turned on too and it will improve things
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