EDIT: I should mention that, though we're not married, we've been living together for several years. Also, my bf just went out to his friend's house without me! LOL I'm going to go to bed instead.
If my bf and I had to only go out together, we wouldn't be able to be a couple. Hands down, not possible. Either we'd go out a lot, he'd be happy and I'd be miserable......or we'd be alone together a lot, I'd be happy and he'd be miserable. We have to compromise to make this work and so we do.
He is an extrovert. He finds it energizing to be around people, has dozens of friends and hundreds of aquaintances that he would greet on the street if he saw them. He does have his few close friends that he spends most of his friend time with. I, on the other hand, am extremely introverted. I have maybe 4 friends all total. I dislike social interaction in many cases as I find it exhausting. For me, a nice time is staying at home. The biggest compliment that I can give my bf (though I had to explain to him that it is a compliment) is that being with him is like being alone. An introvert will understand that. I don't have to be "on" around him, so I can interact without having the stress that I would have with anyone else.
This causes some discussion on occasion, but we talk about it and make compromises. We do go out together to shop, go to a movie, have dinner, just the two of us. We sometimes go out with his friends or mutual friends (my friends less often, as they don't live nearby). Sometimes one of us (usually him) will make plans with friends and the other (usually me) is usually welcome to join. For example, he often wants to watch fighting PayPerViews at his friend's house. I want him to go, because he has a good time. He'll ask if I want to come, because he doesn't want me to be lonely or whatever. I have to remind him that, for me, it's more fun to be home alone than out with his friends. I would come if he wants me to because it would be more fun for him if I'm there, but I don't want to go if it's just because he thinks he's saving me from a night of boredom. We are just totally different people.
I don't have any issue with him going to a party without me. I LOVE that he does this, because it's fun for him, he gets the charge he craves, but I don't have to go!!!! YAY! Because a party is not fun for me, it's stressful. If we went together, I'd want to leave much sooner than he would, anyway. I also have no problem if he wants to go to a strip club with his friends. I know he'll only look and then come home. It's just a matter of trust with us.
Sometimes I get together with my friend(s) and he doesn't come....or he goes out. Other times he stays. But, he can do other things if he likes, because I know he won't enjoy and afternoon with me and my best friend, having a Grey's Anatomy marathon and making jokes related to Star Trek Voyager and our university experiences.
This would not work for everyone, but it works for us. I thrive on lots of "downtime" without a crowd, so when we're home alone it's lovely. When he's out and I'm home by myself, I get to indulge and recharge, with a bath, a book, a few episodes of a favorite tv show that he might not enjoy, an evening on TCS
. It's a great relief for me to have him with me when we are out because, as an extrovert and spotlight lover, he can take off a lot of the social pressure. He likes that he can go out and he never has to worry that he'll come home to an angry girlfriend and all his stuff on the lawn. He appreciates that, not only am I not jelous, but I actually encourage him to spend time with his guy friends. They do guy things, like watch fighting, play xbox, look at cars/motorcycles, etc etc. I think he should have that time to himself.
I guess it's a matter of to each his own......