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2010 Winter Olympics...(funny)

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
As you know, Vancouver will host the 2010 Winter Olympics. Here are some questions people from all over the world are asking.

Believe it or not, these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)

A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)

A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)

A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)

A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)

A: What, did your last slave die?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada?(England)

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, right after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)

A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)

A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)

A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA )

A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
post #2 of 12
People really do cease to amaze me anymore!!!
post #3 of 12
I love this one:

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)
post #4 of 12
I like the last one about speaking English. My friends and I use to joke about that at the border: "OMG, we're entering Canuckland - I wonder if they understand English"
post #5 of 12
Aw-right!!!!! They have hippo races! (Runs and gets naked...)
post #6 of 12
Toooooo right hunny child. that was funny. I was waiting to see if someone asked if we live in igloos for real here. My response to it is, not now, mine melted so I pitched the tippee. LOL. tooooooo funny
post #7 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sibohan2005 View Post
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)

A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Hey- I always wondered this and always assumed that Canada would have a different celebration to America. Any chance that a canadian could post up some picture of the hippo racing as I'm keen to experience this?
post #8 of 12
Ohh was that funny .... but I could have been the IDIOT who didnt know how far Vancouver was from Toronto ...
post #9 of 12
now rolling around the floor at the dumb questions that some pople ask. Although I have been known to ask a few.

Enjoyed the answers almost as much as the questions.
post #10 of 12
That was so funny. The answers were hilarious.

Quote:
Originally Posted by silentNate View Post
Hey- I always wondered this and always assumed that Canada would have a different celebration to America. Any chance that a canadian could post up some picture of the hippo racing as I'm keen to experience this?
Canada actually celebrates Thanksgiving a month before the US Thanksgiving so we actually do have a "different" celebration.

I love the hippo races too!

I must say though that the most wonderful sight I have seen in recent years was the elk in the sand traps and on the greens when my 2 friends and I were golfing at Banff Springs G&CC. What a beautiful sight.
post #11 of 12
When asked any silly questions about igloos, polar bears and such, I gently explain to the american asking that Canada is pretty much exactly like the US.....except for the wild monkeys of course.
post #12 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leli View Post
When asked any silly questions about igloos, polar bears and such, I gently explain to the american asking that Canada is pretty much exactly like the US.....except for the wild monkeys of course.
Wild monkeys aaaand hippo-racing. Sometimes, the wild monkeys even ride the hippos during the races, but that often ends in tragedy. Remember that one time in 1992 when that poor monkey got trampled by three hippos? Oh, that was a real tear-jerker ...
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