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Have a happy period. LOL, email I received

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
AN OPEN LETTER TO
MR. JAMES THATCHER,
BRAND MANAGER,
PROCTER & GAMBLE


Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years,
and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard
Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or
salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down
the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be
your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company
smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi-pads be
aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month
knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from
"the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is
starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal
forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now,
my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes
to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human
body amazing? As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've
no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during
your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo.


Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping
we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and
out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most
women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent
urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill
just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by
drunken chimps. Crazy!


The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is
just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants. Which brings me to
the reason for my letter.


Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted
to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi
pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:
"Have a Happy Period."

Are you flipping kidding me?

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager
brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is
possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound
the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some
kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about
a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and
lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local
Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketch y plan to end your
life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap
a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say
something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or
"Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us?


Sir, please inform your accounting department that,
effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for
I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I
will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss
your brand of condescending !@#%. And that's a promise I will keep.
post #2 of 17
Hahaha!!!!!!!! I love it! This is perfect, thanks for sharing!!
post #3 of 17


OMG too funny!
post #4 of 17
Fantastic- I really hope he has seen it
post #5 of 17
I especially like the part about being jacked up on motrin and kaluha LMAO
post #6 of 17
I Love It!!!
post #7 of 17
That is just too flipping funny!!!
post #8 of 17
YES!!!!!
I loathe the commercials that spew that stupid line!
post #9 of 17
HAHAHAHAHA. That is GREAT!!
post #10 of 17
Oh that is fantastic! Deffinatley one to share at the office!
post #11 of 17
When I first saw that "Have a happy period" I was like ":censor::censor::censor:?! What ya mean happy?! OMG, had to be a man that did this."
post #12 of 17
!!!!!! That is exactly how i feel! Everytime i see one of those stupid commercials on tv or adds in my magazines i get the biggest urge to tell those people to go _ themselves Happy Period? I think NOT when i have PCOS Stupid man! There's nothing happy about a broad with pms and a NRA membership
post #13 of 17
I don't know when I've howled out loud like this! I whooped so loud it frightened all six cats and my 85-year-old father!

Can it really be true? Does it really say "Have a happy period?" And if so, where do I go to apply for the high-paying job of the guy who's surely getting fired for that one?

Oh boy. Best laugh of the year so far! Thanks!
post #14 of 17
I saw this commercial as well....of course while my "friend" was visiting. A friend once told me she only saw ads for those kind of products while her "friend" was around. I think it's true to a degree.

When I saw the commercial, I made Chevy jump by saying "Are you kidding me?" to the TV loudly. LOL


Great letter!
post #15 of 17
OHHH that was a great one
post #16 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolPetunia View Post
I don't know when I've howled out loud like this! I whooped so loud it frightened all six cats and my 85-year-old father!

Can it really be true? Does it really say "Have a happy period?" And if so, where do I go to apply for the high-paying job of the guy who's surely getting fired for that one?

Oh boy. Best laugh of the year so far! Thanks!
Yes, it really says that on the plastic strip right down the center on back where the sticky stuff is. I never saw the commercial. I got to see the strip. I showed Mike and he laughed and said "whomever thought of that should be shot or locked in a room with you during that time. Happy period my ass". ROFL
post #17 of 17
My first reaction to that commercial was "Whaaa...? Is there a such thing?!?"
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