I am sorry he threatened you with this. I do not think it's healthy for him to be threatening you with the D word. That is not good in any relationship. Just last week Colin made a smaller threat somewhat similar to that at me over an argument we were having (some of you may remember). And after reading everyone's comments and making up my own mind- i sat down with him and let him know that i was in this relationship too, i'm in it for the long run and not going anywhere -so him making statements like that did no good for eithor of us and would only drive us apart. We talked about it in a calm manner but i got my point across and let him know that i would not tolerate ultimatums in the relationship like that because it's not healthy and causes trust issues. Turns out- he didn't even view what he had said as an ultimatum....but i had....misunderstanding- but eithor way, we wouldn't have know had we not sat it out after we cooled down and talked. We made up and are doing better- i would honestly try just sitting down with your hubby after he calms down. Bring him a cup of coffee and say "I thought you might like a drink.
Would you mind sitting down with me for a moment, i would like to talk to you about "..." and be specific- guys don't like it when they think they're about to get a lecture- also, sit side by side with him not facing him- guys listen better when they are sitting beside you.
/ Also, when you talk to him- be sure to remember that body language has a lot to do with the conversation and if he will be receptive to what you have to say- so keep your arms uncrossed, don't roll eyes (etc...things like that) and show him that you're genuinely interested in what he has to say about ya'lls relationship- it will show him that you're concerned and open to positive changes. Also- ya'll have children involved as well - he can NOT be threatening divorce in front of them- it's going to make them insecure in their own him and not feel safe. Please do this- please after you sit down and talk to your husband.....have you and your husband both sit down with your child(ren) and say to one another in front of them "I love your daddy very much and I just want to let you know that daddy and I will not divorce one another" -vise versa- make sure your child knows that he/she is safe and secure in your home because divorce does not only affect the husband and wife- it affects the child as well. It will be a great comfort to your child if it hears his/hers mommmy and daddy tell (and mean it!) one another in front of them that they love each other and are committed to the family and to not getting divorced. I hope that helps
I am here if you need to talk sweetie- my prayers are with you. I'm sure your hubby loves you.....and i honestly think this is not all about just going out- i think there is more to it. I hope ya'll are able to calmly and kindly sit down with one another and talk about it to get something accomplished. That being said, i wanted to add one more thing - I think it is ok for couples to spend a few moments apart from one another to have lunch with a girlfriend or for him to watch a game with his buddies. It is good to have a little time apart- that way you still get to do the things you love and see your friends.....there is a time for everything.
The way i see it, you stay home all week with your child - that is a very hard job....i think it would be nice if maybe one night a week your hubby had 2-3 hours with your daughter/son for some "Daddy and ME" time so that they get to bond together -and that would also give you a chance to have dinner with your girlfriends or see a movie- you know, something to give you a little breather- you will me much more happy and he will also get to spend time with that sweet child
/ And the same goes for him as well- he works all week long and is probably tired when he comes home- perhaps it would be ok for him to go fishing with a friend or to dinner with his buddies every once in a while as well.
So it's equal. I think that would be a kind suggestion. Also-ya'll do need to go out together as well- even if you don't have money to spend on it- maybe go for a nice long walk or have a picnic at night and watch the stars in your backyard when your child's asleep.....something like that to give each other a little time together- it will deepen your relationship and give you time to bond without the distractions of work/kids/etc to distract ya'll from one another. I'm sure ya'll will work it out. Just be open, kind, and honest and let him know that you love him and are committed to working out ya'lls troubles.
Good luck! Think Pink!!!