Originally Posted by catloverin_ks
Yup, thats right!!! He was mad at me because I went out last night and when he came in this morning(from work) he was being mad and told me he was filing for Divorce Friday........What the heck??
I dunno if hes serious or not, but I sure hope not. I would be devistated.....
I tried to wake him and talk to him about it awhile ago, and well, he wont say much, except for the fact that hes mad I went out last night.
He's mad because you went out with friends?
I say good riddence to bad rubbish!
Sounds to me like he has low self esteem and that he's jealous and possessive and is trying to isolate you from everyone and anyone other than himself and expects you to stay at home and socialize only with him, or no one.
Being mad and threatening with divorce are controlling and manipulative behaviours in order to guilt and push you into doing what he wants. With people like that there will always be over reaction to issues followed by the same type or similar behaviour. Giving in only sets a precident that he can brow beat and bully you. Which is exactly what he's doing.
Sorry,but you are in an abusive relationship. Oh he may not hit you (yet), but the emotional and mental abuse is there (punishing you with guilt for having gone out with friends. Threatening you with divorce for having done so).
I have been involved in an abusive relationship, and I can tell you that it started out like what you describe and over time escalated into much worse. I've also been involved with womens' shelters (giving support and talks) and your story is no different than many of the stories I have heard from women who have been in abusive relationships.
Just because you are married doesn't mean you give up your friends and family. It's important to have a life together with your spouse, but it's also important to have a life apart from them too.... friends, social activities, interests, hobbies.
The fact that he won't go anywhere without you means he's co-dependent and needy. Keeping your own identity and maintaining interests outside of the relationship is NOT WRONG! Never ever let anyone tell you that it is.
If I were in your shoes I wouldn't be waiting for Friday. I'd be contacting my lawyer tomorrow and initiating the proceedings myself.