You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead."
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you
wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other women replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
The bride, upon getting engaged, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Young Son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.
My wife told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends.
How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done for free.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you
wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other women replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
The bride, upon getting engaged, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Young Son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.
My wife told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends.
How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done for free.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
