Because you guy's are such good shoulders to cry on...

I don't know if anybody remembers this, but I broke up with my bf at the end of january. You guys were nice enough to listen and offer me advice the last time, so I thought that I would vent on here again. (Sorry if this gets long and weepy )

We are stuck living with each other until May and we live in a 1 bedroom apartment. We promised each other that we would not date or do anything with other people until after we stopped living together (I can't move now--I have a lease that starts in May and it is almost impossible to find a short term lease with cats around here. I'm stuck!). I have followed the rules, but I have just found out that he hasn't. To complicate matters further, we have had intimate contact (trying to keep it G rated!) in the last month and a half. I know, I know, stupid thing to do, but we were together for almost 3 years and it is SOOOOO hard for me to let go. Obviously he has no problem though. He denies anything happened, but I know for a fact that it did and he can't lie his way out of it. I guess I'm not really asking for advice (i'm kinda stuck right now and I am weak when it comes to him); I just wanted to vent. God, this feels horrible--maybe even worse than when I broke up with him in the first place!

I'm sorry you are having to go through this - Sounds like a very tough situation.

Hope May comes around very quickly for you

I am sending you some hugs from Mississippi, it sounds like you need them. I hope everything gets better for you.

That is a tough situation. I had to live with an ex for a short time after we broke up , and it was some of the worst times of my life. I hope things get better for you soon.

Oh my, how hard that must be for you to go through.

I am sorry you are going through this..I think the fact that he would "break those rules" seems very unfair to me. He knows that would hurt you, and you still live together for god sakes. What a jerk!

I hope May comes soon so you can move on..I don't know how people can just jump to the next so soon after a serious breakup..what is wrong with men?

Originally Posted by krazy kat2

That is a tough situation. I had to live with an ex for a short time after we broke up , and it was some of the worst times of my life. I hope things get better for you soon.

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Me too, but he would have never done anything with other women during that timeframe. To me that is just disrespectful.

It was very hard though...I vowed to never live with a guy again

It seems clear to me that he should be sleeping in the living room. I know you said you're having trouble letting go... but keeping a door between you would help you do that.

Or maybe... is there a friend you could stay with for awhile?

Originally Posted by Trouts mom

.what is wrong with men?

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Ahem...excuse me

I'm sorry to hear about this. Many vibes and thoughts coming your way.

I definately agree with the idea of him sleeping on the couch. You can't do much in the way of whether or not he's going to not date yet, but you can have all the control over whether or not you're intimate with him.

There are no friends or family members you can stay with (or he can stay with)? If not you just have to take it one day at a time, and hopefully May will feel like it comes quickly for you.

Best of luck!

I sympathise. I had to live with my ex for three months after I told him I wanted to separate, and we sold the house, but I found a flat and he didn't, so we shared one for that time. But we managed to have separate rooms by sending our daughter to my parents for a term. An awful time all round. I agree that you should really try to have separate rooms even if it means using the living room. Anything else is torture for both of you. And remember, if you are not sure he is having safe sex, then you MUST NOT do anything.

im sending hugs to you right now i know how you must be feeling as im having problems with my hubby just now too and i dont know whether to stay (for kids sake) or just let go.

keep your chin up and things will work out soon.

angela

That is such a rough situation!! I had faced the same thing in 1987; with young children, cats & a dog, moving was not an option for me. Fortunately, the guy moved out in the end. I did the above suggestion, and slept separately. The pain of betrayal is brutal; everytime I experience it, I think of "the curse of Eve" included "thy desire shall be for thy husband". Thank God for good music that helped me stay strong and get through. I did get lucky, and the guy disconnected my telephone by cutting the line outside the house; I called the phone company and THEY contacted him - next thing I know, he's packing his gear up & heading out!!
As for your ex straying, the sad fact is that there are so many women out there who "give the milk away for free". I have read that some women find sex with "taken men" more exciting - what happened to the notion of being "sisters together in this planet"

Thank you guys so much! Just being able to talk to you guys makes it a little easier (you know, the whole getting it out thing). He has been sleeping on the couch and we did at least practice safe sex. That was probably the biggest hint for me (that I obviously didn't take!) because we never used to. We were monogamous for the last 2 1/2 years so it just wasn't something we worried about. I asked him about and he had some lame excuses so I just gave up asking.

I made the whole situation worse last night by drinking with friends and then coming home and telling him what a piece of s*** he is and telling him that if he "fell out of love" with me that he never could have loved me. I just hope that we can at least be civil again for the remainder of the time that we are living together, but, now, I just don't know.

Originally Posted by afraser1

im sending hugs to you right now

i know how you must be feeling as im having problems with my hubby just now too and i dont know whether to stay (for kids sake) or just let go.

keep your chin up and things will work out soon.

angela

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I hope everything goes ok for you and your kids . That is one thing tht I am thankful for-- we have no kids! Between us, it would complicate it way too much. Speaking as the daughter of people who stayed together for 2 years for the kids, it is not a good situation for he kids. Even if you don't fight in front of them, they can feel the tension. However it ends up going in your situation, I hope it goes well .