SERIOUS SITUATION! Guys please......

catloverin_ks · Mar 19, 2007

I probly shouldnt even be opening my mouth, I have been wanting to say something for some time.........its in regards to my MOM. Ugghh.....like I said, I probly shouldnt be saying anything. But I guess the reason I am deciding to is because I am scared and well, I just found out something this morning that really topeed it off.

My mom as much as I love her, because she is my mom..............needs some serious help. I know for some time shes been taking some "pain pills" and well its getting bad enough that she was caught stealing some from my brother.

My sister and I have been telling my brother for quite some time that shes had a problem, and well he just didnt wanna belive it....but now, he does!! She has borrowed some frome me before as well. I know for a fact she jumps from Dr to Dr and drug store to drug store. She blames all of it on "back pain" but believe you me~as much as she gets prescribed she shouldnt be running out!! Its that bad...I am scared for her guys. If you say anything at all to her, she naturally gets defensive. She even went as far as asking my friend to see if her hubby had some she could buy, because shes out.

I dunno...........I hate to think of my own mother as a "druggie" but god for bid, its what its turning into.

I seriously need some help, or for her, or something. I am scared I am going to lose my mom.

Please guys if you would, spare some vibes or prayers for my mom, and my family. We are at a loss as what to do. We have thought about telling her fiance(he doesnt know!) as neither does my grandma, or aunts. She just always has some sympathetic excuse when shes popping the pills.

yosemite · Mar 19, 2007

Is it just you and your brother that are aware of her problem? You need some expert advice. I would suggest you contact your local addiction agency and talk to someone there and/or get some printed information. The sooner you get help for your mom, the better it is for everyone. It's possible she isn't so far along yet that a turn-around might be easier.

clairebear · Mar 19, 2007

Unfortunately there isn't a whole lot you can do when the person is an adult. She really probably needs to go to some sort of drug rehab, but If she can't admit she has a problem, then I find it hard to believe that she will go. I would try talking to her fiance, maybe he's a big enough role in her life to get her to see what she's doing isn't normal. Sending you lots of good vibes!

catloverin_ks · Mar 19, 2007

Originally Posted by Yosemite

Is it just you and your brother that are aware of her problem? You need some expert advice. I would suggest you contact your local addiction agency and talk to someone there and/or get some printed information. The sooner you get help for your mom, the better it is for everyone. It's possible she isn't so far along yet that a turn-around might be easier.

Nope,my sister and I were the first ones aware of her problem. My sister works at a pharmacy and well, my moms called her a few times tryin to get her to steal pills for her!

Of course my sister would NEVER ever do that!! But its just that bad....it all started after my dads death, in Oct 2004.

lunasmom · Mar 19, 2007

Both Yosemite and ClaireBear have given excellent advice.

It is weird to think of your parents as a having a problem. However pain medication can be very addictive, especially if it has codiene in it. The meds don't just have to have codiene though to make them addictive. Many people get hooked on Vikaden (sp?) and others like that.

I use to know one nurse that would call in Rx for the doctor...she use to make a few refills for herself. The doctor never knew about it (or never paid attention).

Anyways, good luck with your mom. I hope that she learns that she does have an addiction and seeks help.

emrldsky · Mar 19, 2007

Oh no! Your mom is depressed, and she's addicted. There's not gentle way to say it..she has an addiction if she's denying there's a problem with her behavior, and if she's unwilling to get help on her own.

Please, PLEASE, do something now! I cannot tell you how hard it is to watch a loved one slowly shorten their life through addiction to pills.

My cousin, who would have been 26 this year, overdosed on pain medication. She left behind a 4 year old child.

It's serious. It's obvious you love your mom but you should be more worried about her health and life, than whether or not she'll be mad at you for saying something. Be strong...you have a big family here on TCS who is standing behind you, no matter what your decision is.

ugaimes · Mar 19, 2007

Originally Posted by ClaireBear

She really probably needs to go to some sort of drug rehab, but If she can't admit she has a problem, then I find it hard to believe that she will go.

Unfortunately, you're right- she most likely will not consider rehab until she hits what SHE considers to be rock bottom and admits to having a problem.

catlover, your mom and family are in my prayers.

She is lucky to have such a caring, concerned daughter!

catloverin_ks · Mar 19, 2007

Originally Posted by emrldsky

Oh no! Your mom is depressed, and she's addicted. There's not gentle way to say it..she has an addiction if she's denying there's a problem with her behavior, and if she's unwilling to get help on her own.

Please, PLEASE, do something now! I cannot tell you how hard it is to watch a loved one slowly shorten their life through addiction to pills.

My cousin, who would have been 26 this year, overdosed on pain medication. She left behind a 4 year old child.

It's serious. It's obvious you love your mom but you should be more worried about her health and life, than whether or not she'll be mad at you for saying something. Be strong...you have a big family here on TCS who is standing behind you, no matter what your decision is.

Thank you.

Iys just a very tough situtation to be in!!

swampwitch · Mar 19, 2007

Maybe you and your siblings could organize an intervention. She needs your help. Sending good thoughts and prayers to you all.

hilda>^..^< · Mar 19, 2007

I too was thinking about an intervention, it might be something worth considering. Drugs are such a hard thing to deal with.Good luck...much love, good thoughts & prayers for your mom and your family...

Hilda>^..^<

neetanddave · Mar 19, 2007

You can't help your Mom, you know that? She needs help that you can't give her.

Please talk to a professional about this, before you lose her too.

to you for strenth to do whatever it takes.

gailuvscats · Mar 19, 2007

If I were you, I would tell her doctor, her fiance, her mother, all the family members, the neighbors, the local drug rehab place. Don't be afraid to get it out there, it is the only way help will come. Keeping it a secret is not going to help, and while your mother will be mad, she may live to be very grateful. Done right, she does not have to know who spilled the beans, but you should not be ashamed for loving her and trying to help her. You have nothing to hide.

bella713 · Mar 19, 2007

Many prayers going out to you and your mom, I'm sorry

gailc · Mar 19, 2007

Everyone has provided you with excellent information. Sending vibes to you and your family.

momofmany · Mar 19, 2007

If your mom won't admit she has a problem, she's not going to do anything about it.

My brother was an alcoholic for many years and he was a tremendous burden on the family. The only way I could deal with it was to learn how to deal with him. I would attend AA meetings for family members to learn how not to respond to him.

If you can't get your mom to seek help, then help yourself. I did a google search on "drugs anonymous" and got a lot of hits. Perhaps reach out to one of those organizations to learn how to deal with the problem, and they might have some professional advice on how to help your mom.

I feel for ya girl!!

carolpetunia · Mar 19, 2007

Um... I want to suggest that you not approach this by telling everybody in your lives about it. It's true that secrecy allows the problem to continue and these things have to be brought out into the open -- but it's not necessary to humiliate your mom in front of your entire neighborhood.

And if you did so, she might resent it so much that you would never be able to communicate with her on the subject -- and that's no good.

But I do think talking to her doctor is a good idea. Due to confidentiality requirements, he won't be able to say much to you -- but you can express your concerns to him and ask that he do what he can to help her.

I don't know your mom, of course, but if she's anything like mine... here's something that might help:

Thirty years ago, my mother tried to quit smoking, and in fact did, for awhile. Now and then, I would catch a whiff of smoke in the house, but I assumed it was just the lingering stink of cigarettes past.

But then one night, some family was visiting and a game was being played at the kitchen table. Every twenty minutes or so, my mom would disppear into her bedroom, and when she came back, I always smelled smoke. Finally, while I was standing beside her in the kitchen, I said quietly, "Mom, I know what you're doing back there. I thought you quit."

She was embarrassed and really resented the comment... but it was enough to keep her from doing it again that night. A few days later, she made a real commitment to quitting, and this time it worked.

I know your mom's problem is more complicated than that... but it might help to just quietly, calmly let her know that you understand what's happening and you want to help her stop. The thing to be careful of is how you put it -- you can't let it sound like an accusation. It has to be a nonjudgmental acknowledgement of a reality you're both aware of.

I sure hope you can help your mom get back on track. And I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad. Take care...

catloverin_ks · Mar 19, 2007

Thank you all for your support!

She wont ever admit to it~I know!! I am going to get toegther with my sister and brother and see at this point what we should do. I mean these pills affect her daily life/schedule. And I hate to say this, but the thought has crossed my mind, shes a nurse and works in peoples homes and what if she decides that shes desperate enough to steal from them???

arlyn · Mar 19, 2007

Ok, if she's in the nursing field, I do believe you have some things available to do.
Very hard things, obviously, but I know you care and can do it with your siblings.
You might have to speak to her employers and get them involved.

kittydad · Mar 19, 2007

Originally Posted by catloverin_ks

Nope,my sister and I were the first ones aware of her problem. My sister works at a pharmacy and well, my moms called her a few times tryin to get her to steal pills for her!

Of course my sister would NEVER ever do that!! But its just that bad....it all started after my dads death, in Oct 2004.

If it started there, could it possibly be depression??? Has she been assessed for that? What about talking to her Dr about the situation, and see what he can do?? What about hte possibility of getting her deemed mentally incapable of making her own decisions as a way to get help? Just a few ideas to try to help. What is she on, that she is popping the pills so much?

If it is a narcotic, you will have to be a bit careful, they will need to be weened off them to avoid withdrawl from the pills. Hope things get better soon. Sending vibes your way for everyone.

catloverin_ks · Mar 19, 2007

Originally Posted by kittydad

If it started there, could it possibly be depression??? Has she been assessed for that? What about talking to her Dr about the situation, and see what he can do?? What about hte possibility of getting her deemed mentally incapable of making her own decisions as a way to get help? Just a few ideas to try to help. What is she on, that she is popping the pills so much?

If it is a narcotic, you will have to be a bit careful, they will need to be weened off them to avoid withdrawl from the pills. Hope things get better soon. Sending vibes your way for everyone.

Umm right now I cant think of the name, but I know its narcotics.....hydracodone, I believe is one.

I know she has been depressed since my dads death, but we all have!! She also takes a depression med. as well.

SERIOUS SITUATION! Guys please......

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