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Need a laugh read this

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
DOG DIARY

8:00 am - Dog food!

Myfavorite thing!


9:30 am - A car ride!

My favorite thing!


9:40 am - A walk in the

park! My favorite thing!


10:30 am - Got rubbed and

petted! My favorite thing!


12:00 pm - Lunch! My

favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the

yard! My favorite thing!


5:00 pm - Milk bones! My

favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball!

My favorite thing!


8:00 pm - Wow! Watched

TV with the people! My

favorite thing!


11:00 pm - Sleeping on the

bed! My favorite thing!


CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement
was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how
to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems
to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has
got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have
arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.....for now
post #2 of 11
I needed a laugh - and you were right!

Thank You!

Laurie
post #3 of 11
I love that one...really funny...
post #4 of 11


That was good for an early morning laugh!!!
post #5 of 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by eburgess View Post
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems
to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
This was my favorite part! Thanks for the much needed laugh!
post #6 of 11
Thanks! I needed that! Having a rough couple of days!
post #7 of 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by babyharley View Post
This was my favorite part! Thanks for the much needed laugh!
Love it! Thank you! I definately needed that
post #8 of 11
That was a great way to revive a disappointing evening for me!! Thank you for sharing - did you think that up yourself?
post #9 of 11
Hehehe, everytime I've read this, I always imagine the voice of ''Stewie'' from Family Guy as the cat's voice...puuurrrrfect I think!

I don't think my kitties would feel/think like this though...

Hilda>^..^<
post #10 of 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hilda>^..^< View Post
Hehehe, everytime I've read this, I always imagine the voice of ''Stewie'' from Family Guy as the cat's voice...puuurrrrfect I think!

I don't think my kitties would feel/think like this though...

Hilda>^..^<
When I read this, I could totally imagine Stewie! I laughed so hard reading the cat's point of view! So perfect!
post #11 of 11
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hilda>^..^< View Post
Hehehe, everytime I've read this, I always imagine the voice of ''Stewie'' from Family Guy as the cat's voice...puuurrrrfect I think!

I don't think my kitties would feel/think like this though...

Hilda>^..^<
haha Yeah!!! Stewie does the same type of stuff doesn't he!!
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