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Three Cats?

post #1 of 3
Thread Starter 
Sorry this is sooo long, but I'm having a bit of a dilemma at the moment. My grandmother has decided (on her own, without any pushing from the rest of the family, thank goodness!) that it's time for her to move into a retirement home, and she's really happy and excited about this. The problem is, she won't be allowed to take her cat, Miss C, with her. Miss C is approximately 6 years old, possibly declawed (my grandmother wouldn't have done it herself, but would have been likely to adopt a declawed cat because she'd prefer it to have been done), and very, very sweet-natured. She's good with other cats (my uncle and his two cats lived with my grandmother and Miss C a little while ago, and they all got along wonderfully -- it was good for her to have other cats to play with), a bit shy with other people, and not really much of a lap cat (that I've seen). She's also very, very fat. No, not fat: obese. Her stomach brushes the ground when she walks, and she has to lie down on her side to accommodate her belly. Obese.

Grandma doesn't know what will happen to Miss C when she moves. She's trying to find someone to take her in, but so far hasn't had any luck. I have offered to take Miss C, but to be perfectly, brutally honest ... I don't want this cat. She's sweet and all, but I'm happy with the balance in my home, my cats are happy, and I know for a fact that J does not want a third cat. However, J and I don't want Miss C to go to a shelter or to be put down because my grandmother can't find her a home, and so we'll take her in if it becomes necessary.

I just don't know how this will work out. Spike and Oz get along with each other so perfectly that I'm afraid adding a third cat will wreck the equilibrium we have in our home, and I honestly don't know how Miss C will get along with them. She's good with other cats, but she's never been around a cat quite like Spike, who is energetic to the point of mania, has no personal boundaries (even for a cat), is needy and extremely affectionate and who can't, for the life of him, figure out that not everyone wants his attention. I also don't know how Oz will relate to her, because he's very much the alpha cat and isn't used to having his authority questioned, and she's used to being an only cat (despite having spent time with other cats).

I do think living with us would be good for Miss C, if she got along with the boys. We've been very successful in helping Oz to lose weight, and I know that with our vet's assistance, we can get her on a diet that will help her get down to a healthier size, and there's no way she could live in the same apartment as Spike and not get in more activity in her life. (Plus, J and I are certainly more capable of keeping her exercised than my grandmother is, and we're more knowledgeable with regards to cat care than my grandmother). The first order of business would be to take her to the vet (she's up-to-date on her shots and is in good health, aside from her wait, but I'd want her to meet our vet and I'd want to get a diet set up for her).

I'm really torn about this. I don't want anything bad to happen to Miss C, but at the same time, I have to think of my own cats (not to mention J, who doesn't want a third cat, hates the idea of getting a third cat, but like me, doesn't want to see Miss C hurt or abandoned). I'm happy with the way our home is now, and I'm thrilled with how well my boys get along. It's true that Miss C could end up being a perfect addition to our home, but if she's not, what do I do then? What if bringing her in ruins everything, and my boys end up fighting, or she pees all over the house or has behavioural problems (she might be declawed, after all, plus she's likely to grieve for my grandmother who, given the distance between our homes -- grandma lives two hours away -- she will never see again)?

What would you do, in my position? I'm asking around to see if any of my friends want a third cat, but most of them are immediately turned off by the fact that she's likely declawed and by concerns that her obesity might be more than a little challenging. This isn't a sure thing -- my grandmother might find someone in her own town to adopt Miss C -- but I'm trying to figure things out in advance. There's also no real way to see how the cats all get along before we take her in permanently; we'll have to find that out after we've already adopted her.
post #2 of 3
Is there any way you and your grandmother can exchange something like a shirt or something that has each set of cat's scents on it and see how the react to that. And if she gets along with other cats that's atleast a plus if nothing else maybe you could foster her until she finds a more suitable forever home that works for everyone. Maybe suggest that and see if J is open to that. Whatever you decide I wish you good luck. Me personally I would take her in and try to slowly introduce her to the boys and see what happens. Her being declawed doesn't automatically mean she will have behavior problems. But it might mean it will make it harder for her to find a forever home. Good luck in whatever you decide.
post #3 of 3
Originally Posted by Mirinae View Post
What would you do, in my position?
while i understand your hesitation & concerns... i would take her if it were me, assuming i couldn't find another suitable home.
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