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post #31 of 54
Can your boyfriend get the car changed over into his name soon? Then they wouldn't be able to hold that over his head, and you could take your cats. I understand that they've probably become very attached to your kitties, but they know thier yours, they shouldn't be causing a big problem over it.
post #32 of 54
I agree and my heart breaks for you because I remember your original post. You are a very good person to pay for all their expenses and I know you must love them dearly. It is NOT right, the only thing that I could think of that would help you is if you had had a written contract instead of verbal. That would have saved a lot of heartbreak. His parents are pretty pathetic people to hit below the belt. That is why I no longer believe in verbal agreements. Things happen and people change their mind. Sweetie, I'm sorry that you have to go through all of this, but you have a good heart and you are so selfless in thinking of your babies and your bf at the same time. See if he can get the car in his name sooner. Please keep us posted.
post #33 of 54
I'm sorry to hear your story. I don't have any practical advice to give you but just wanted to leave a little note to share my support. My only thought is if there might be any chance of you or your boyfriend moving into your own place anytime soon so that you can take your kitties back permanently? Or maybe you have some friends/family who might be a little less... possessive of your kitties who can look after them as long as possible? Don't know if there's any chance of either of those happening though. I hope everything turns out well, and soon.
post #34 of 54
it is too bad that this is happening to you. Good for you to do the best thing for all, even if it is a temporary fix. But I have to ask, why cant you visit them? Is it because you do not have transportation out there? Hoping this gets solved one way or another so very soon. Hugsssssss going out to you to help you hold on a bit longer.
post #35 of 54
I have been following your story and I really sympathize with you. Sounds like you honestly care for these animals and are trying to do the best for them. I hope you get your kitties back, but I really have to tell you in my opinion, that you should really sever your ties with these people. They sound wacko to me, really toxic. I'm sure you care about your boyfriend, but I really think (once again just my opinion) that I would question any future that had this wacky family in it.
post #36 of 54
I am sorry you have to go through this and I mist say it is a little confusing so I plan to seek out your other thread in a moment, but I agree maybe you can visit them till you figure it all out or tell BF get the car in his name or ya move in together something.
post #37 of 54
I am wondering how old you both are? Even at 18, I paid for my own car....and my parents couldn't/wouldn't take it away....especially if I was working.... I am assuming you are a grown up, cause you work at/for a vet....and if this is the case, I would skip the bf & call the parents, and tell them you need to have a sit down talk with them. YOUR cats, have nothing to do with their son...or his privledges. And you are greatful for their help in caring for them, but they are yours....maybe there has been some miscommunication along the way....I hope you can speak to them normally and have them respect you as an adult.... Lots of luck!
post #38 of 54
I have merged a couple of these threads to help newer members to understand the situation. There are a couple others re this same issue that I will try to find and merge here as well.
post #39 of 54
Thread Starter 
Thanks for all your support. I Have to say i really truely love this site, becasue everyone is very understanding and give the best advise. asw i am but 17 years old, i really seem to have no say with this situation and his parents because they have now respect for me, and do not like to be talked down to, especially by a minor... but i know what i am talking about.

i know for a fact that if i asked them what was wrong with my Tai ((Tux Boy)) when he was born they wouldn't have a clue. and if i asked what was wrong with him they wouldn't tell me what ((Tai has Feline Herpies, and gets outbreaks regularly that i treat with terramycin eye gel and viralys)) and if i asked them when Munchkin ((calico Girl)) was born they wouldn't know either. i bet they don't even know their birthdays... :[...

it's hard for me to look at their records and not cry every night over this.

they severed ties with me basically. i know i didn't help, but when i took the cats ((after his dad told me the only way they were ever leaving the house was if he broke their necks and buried them outside... which he said...))...
and i told the city dog warden ((they were rescues during kitten season of last year from there)) and the warden lady told me that the papers there were in my name and that the negotiations went sour and that she'd go up there to get them on monday of the next week. i told my bf and he stupidly told his mom to "warn her"... and the whole house was in hysterics and after dropped him off from work that day he called me 20 mins later and told me to go back to his house to get his cats...

his dad, after me getting the cats and getting ready to leave told me that if i called the house or came near the property again that he would have me arrested... i really didn't like people in general to begin with, now i just don't like people like that. a week after they came with me to work, my bf came to me and told me that his dad wanted the cats back or they'd take away his car...

not wanting to give the cats back, but not wanting to be the reason why he didn't have a car, i reluctantly gave them back... i broke up with him that night... but got back together with him a month later. i had been "myspacing" his sister back and forth and it seemed to be going well, but then they said they would attempt to tell the father that they would be going to a friend's house. their motive for taking them back was "i can't sleep at night thinking of them in a cage". truthfully, i would rather them there in a cage at my job than in a house with screaming, rough, people such as these who are caniving and evil as they seem...

i did not give them FREE CATS... and this isn't about money either.. i would gladly pay any amount to make my cats happy. i went to petco and got a huge thing of catnip and beds and new bowls and everything, in work every night to play with them and feed them... the only difference was they were in a cage... but honestly... i rathered them there in a place i was firmiliar with and knew they wouldn't be disturbed...

:] they lost 5 pounds jumping from the ledges and playing with eachother while there too, which they were growing to be obese...


:[ im still sad i miss them so much... i hate the hole i dug but i really couldn't help that... i want what is mine back... they are my babies and always will be...
post #40 of 54
Honey, I'm on my way somewhere and haven't had time to read carefully enough to be sure I follow where things stand, but let me say this:

1. If you don't have the cats now, have the police (and someone from the shelter if necessary) go with you to get them back once and for all. And don't ever give them back, no matter what your boyfriend (ex or otherwise) says. Those people are not fit to have cats.

2. If you even think of getting together with that boyfriend again, I will personally come whack you upside the haid! He took advantage of you because he was too weak to stand up to his evil, bullying father. Anyone who would let you be put through all this does not deserve to be with you.

3. And remember... that boy has his father's genes. Someone who comes from a family like that can overcome their influence, but it doesn't sound like this kid has done so. You can do better.

If I sound harsh, please forgive me -- it's them I'm mad at, not you, dear...

Well... okay, I'm a little mad at you, for letting them manipulate you this way -- but I was a 17-year-old girl once, too, and I know how hard it is to stand tall at that age.

But you're going to from now on! Right?
post #41 of 54
Thread Starter 
I sure am... i know there is no excuse for what is going on... alot of it is my fault for the manipulation prt... and i should have made a written document... however...

would the cats being under my name in the hospital computer be somewhat the same thing?

his mother has told me that they are mine before... but what made me mad was that she said...

"they are your cats... i just take care of them..." so what the heck is that supposed to mean?

i bet i sound like a crazy cat lady who is so set on her cats that i do nothing else...

i have excellent grades in high school, can drive, i am getting so depressed over this it isn't even funny...

not to mention now i am the manager of the kennels at work... so that both adds the stress and responsibility... i get somewhat upset when boarding cats go home to their owners... we didn't hold the cat over their head did we...

thank you for all of your responses and warm wishes... this is the best site to come to for support and advise... :]

please post any other comments and responses... i need all the help i can get...
post #42 of 54
You should get printed copies of all the documentation regarding the cats, including the hospital computer, and have those in hand when you ask the police for help.

I would also type up all the incidents in which the cats were threatened by the ex-boyfriend's family, as well as the statement by the mother that they actually belong to you. Even though you have no witnesses to these conversations, it can't hurt to have them documented.

You can also print out everything you've written about all this on this site (and any other you've visited) -- the dates of the posts should help establish the timeline and lend credibility to your claims.

Be careful not to tip your hand, though -- don't say anything to anyone about intending to get the cats back, or they may not be there when you arrive!

Take action as soon as you can.

Maintain a calm demeanor.

Be resolute.

You can do this!
post #43 of 54
You know, from everything you wrote it sounds like you are better off without that entire bunch. They all sound like a bunch of crazy psychos to me!

You have your cats back now. Move on with your life and put all the rest, and them... behind you.

You deserve way better than that group of people, including the b/f who sounds just as bad as his parents because he didn't have the guts to stand up to them in the past and give you your cats when you had asked.

If you stayed involved with him, that would mean you still had to stay involved with his wacko parents. Better to get out now than to be tied to them for the rest of your life.

Say goodbye to bad rubbish and move forward.
post #44 of 54
I don't think she has them back does she? I think she gave them back?

I'm a little confused
post #45 of 54
Thread Starter 
i gave them back because his parents threatened to take his car away. he found a job managing a gas station and he lives far from town so he needs a car to get there... plus it was the only full time job he could find... so i reluctantly gave them back which was extremely stupid of me... but i felt like i didn't want to be the blame for him losing his job...

it is so petty to take this crud out on a 17 year old... what do they have to prove... ?

i have witnesses that saw me with his mother when i got tai... i signed the papers right in front of her...

munchkin was a gift for my bf... everyone at work knows that... but i don't want to drag those that are my co workers into this whole mess...

but through my job i have alot of sources to get them back... the local dogh warden, police and the spca in town... i know them all... i just don't want to make everything worse for everyone around me... as stupid as it may sound i am one of those people who does things for others and forgets about the things that make me happy until they are gone and im kicking myself in the butt after wards...
post #46 of 54
Thread Starter 
i have pics of them on my myspace... :]

not that people want to go on that website and out of their way... the link is in my TCS profile... :] they are incredibly cute :-] i wonder if someone can make a banner for me liek everyone else has :] that would be great...
post #47 of 54
Thread Starter 
Okay... today i really missed my babies... so i asked my bf if he could get them, bring them to my job so we could bathe them and make them smell better than when they are at his house ((his dad smokes alot... in the house too... which the cat's catch in their hair... very unhealthy...)) and we would bring them to PetCo to acually get them out of the house and out in the world somewhat...

they would have been home later ...not my home but still... i was also testing my boundaries... seeing if they were willing and actually realized that they were mine...

of course not... my bf agreed to it... they needed a bath ne ways... but once he got them and put them in his car his dad came out and cursed him out and told him the cats weren't leaving... he and my bf got into a scuffle... i don't understand why... then his mother and sister's sided with their father... im telling you i am getting old of this... and it's the most petty thing ever...

so me and my bf went to the police station at got interviewed just to see what could be done to get them back... the officer we had gotten was ((excuse my french)) a real prick... and just contradicted us over and over...

constantly asking me what i really want and that they are in a "good Home" and his parents must be good to anuimals cuz they have soo many in the house...

then my boyfriend fails to mention that his father has exfixiated animals in the past... with no remorse... his grandmother's cat and his mother's dog... they had bad health problems, but he "put them out of thier misery..." how cruel is that... if you want to do that pay the $$ and get a humane way to "put down" the animal... why be so barbaric...


he said that all my documentation is good though... i have very articulate records and update monthly... all of their vax. certificates too...

idk people are just insane...

post back <3
post #48 of 54
i dont see a myspace link look for me momof3rugratz or Virginia Rivers.
post #49 of 54
Forgive me for saying... but this is way too much drama, and you could easily end it.

The way I see the situation is that you have 2 choices:

1. Leave the cats where they are and let his parents raise them they way they want to. You say they are yours but they are living at their house! You say you gave one cat to your b/f as a birthday gift. You gifted that cat to him. The cat is no longer yours, even if you do say you have the receipt for it. When you give something away it's no longer yours. Even Judge Judy would tell you that.

2. Get the cats back and either take them home to live with you, or if that is not an option find them alternate forever homes with people you feel treat their animals better than your b/f's parents do.

All you are doing with this going back and forth is perpetuating the drama of the whole situation.

Whatever of the 2 you decide you should also really consider ditching that guy and his psycho family. While you say he's not like his family, being involved with him also means being involved with his "Drama Queen" family.

You're young and why you inisist on living with such a situation and such drama and being involved with such psychotiic people is beyond me.

You're young. This time in your life should be happy. You sound anything but.
post #50 of 54
I second everything Natalie said, harsh though it may be -- except that I do think you should try to get both kittens back, even if one of them was a gift, because (a) those people are subhuman and should not be allowed to keep animals, and (b) that one was a gift to your "boyfriend," not to his parents, and he would probably agree to give that one back, as long as his father isn't around.

Honey, I know that when you're so wrapped up in a situation or a person, it's hard to imagine cutting yourself off from them. No matter how upsetting the situation is, you feel like your life would be empty without it, and that seems worse.

But speaking from the experience of age, I tell you... the very best thing you can do for yourself is develop the ability to be comfortable alone.

Once you've done that, you'll have the emotional resources and composure to be more selective about the people you accept into your life, and to withdraw from situations that become unhealthy.

And this situation is profoundly unhealthy for you. You really, really need to get away from these people before they either do you irreparable harm... or poison you so thoroughly that you turn into one of them.

Let this boy go. If he really is different from his family, he will eventually distance himself from them -- and at that point, you can decide whether to let him back into your life. But right now, he's under their control.

And as long as you're with him, so are you.
post #51 of 54
Thread Starter 
yea i understand... i know i burned a huge bridge but the bridge was coming down anyways... they just like animals for their company and don't see the reality of it... its a child... its your baby... and you as the owner need to take care of it...

i know if i try anythin g to get them back his father may kill them... they may live in that house, but those are my children... i know more about them than any one of these blind subhuman freaks...

and i agree with those 2 choices... i have been thinking about them for abotu a year when things got rough...
post #52 of 54
Thread Starter 
... sigh... i went on my myspace today and started to cry... if you have myspace check out my kitties pics...

its the myspace regular .com with /xxthecalicokatxx added onto the end...

post #53 of 54
ok i will look.. first will I cry
post #54 of 54
Thread Starter 
nope... :] no crying i just miss them alot... :'{...
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