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Need Help... :[

post #1 of 54
Thread Starter 
Oh... hello! I'm new to the forum and may seem like real noobie to it, so i am sorry if i do anything wrong!

Okay... now down to buisness! Here is my backround with my Cats:

* I work at an animal hospital (about 2 1/2 years now -non stop-) and during kitten season, people bring in kittens to be treated and soon later adopted out. I care for them in the Kennel area, and grow very attatched to our long time boarding kittens, especially my little girl "Munchkin", a fiesty Calico Tabby (DSH). She was found under a porch with a severe Upper Respitory Infection (kitty cat cold), loads of fleas, and other various problems. I Fixed he up starting from the beginning of the summer (June) to the very middle of September, and i just could not part with her... so I adopted her.

* A month and a half later, my boyfriend complained that "Munchkin" needed a friend, and a littler of Tux kittens was in for about a week. I Got really attached to one that was smaller, with a Hair-line bottom lip, that i adopted and named "Tai".

* my problem is that, "Munckin" was a b-day present for my boyfriend. I own Her legally (I carry the papers, follow up on time with all vaccines, buy all of their food, litter, accessories, tags and collars, litter box, and pay their vet bills), and the same goes for "Tai". My parents dont like cats at all (they don't understand), so the cats live at my boyfriends house with his 2 sisters his mother and father. His parents are extreamly possessive of them, and are constantly over ruling our (my boyfriend and i) rules of the cats. Not only did they get kittens of their own that they seem to not care about at all, they feed my cats the wrong food (they eat premium edge healthy eight cat food, but they are feeding my cats friskys), which gets them very sick, but even if the cats just went into surgery, they will bother them and play with them like it is fine.

Question 1: Does anyone have any advice for me as i have dug mysef into a huge hole. I did not know how long this problem would go on for, but i need help on the situation to see what my options are.

Question 2: Is it wrong to keep my cat ("Munchkin") in a large dog crate for a week or 2 to keep her from hurting herself after a major surgery she had done 3 days ago, to keep an eye on her and monitor her without completely restricting her?(it will only be like this until her ubsorbabe sutures begin to heal and she is holding down food again). Please give e your input on the matter!

*Thank you for listening to my story and questions... please post back!
post #2 of 54
Gosh, you have got a mess on your hands. If the cats are not living with you, it's going to be pretty difficult to monitor their treatment by your BF's family. Also, if they won't listen to either you or your BF, what are your options? The only solution I can see would be for you to talk to your parents and see if they would be willing to have the cats with you even on a trial basis (until they become attached to them). Perhaps if you calmly explained how much not having them with you is hurting you, you may be able to come to some sort of compromise.

Let us know how you manage.
post #3 of 54
I agree with Yosemite. Talk to your parents and then get the cats from your boy friend and have them live with you. So long as the cats are at your boy friend's house, there isn't much you can do really. It's their house, regardless of whether you pay for the food and litter for your cats or not.

Another option is to start supplying the high quality vet food for all of their cats so that they don't buy the cheap stuff anymore. It will be more expensive for you, but this way your cat will be guaranteed to have its high quality food as it will be the only one being fed in the house.

Your third option is to get your own place and move out and take you cats with you. That way you have total control and no one can tell you what to do with your cats.
post #4 of 54
Move out of that awful situation fast. Is there any chance of you being able to rent a place which is cat friendly? Explain to them they really shouldn't be interfering with your cats as they really aren't anything to do with them. Are you actually paying to live there?
post #5 of 54
I agree - the best thing would be if you could move out into your own place and take the cats with you. I don't think that trying to persuade your parents to let you have them there is a great idea - if they're not keen on cats that would just open another can of worms and could create even worse problems. If it's not possible for you to move out, I think you're just going to have to accept that your bf's parents are going to be involved in their daily care and that they will make decisions you disapprove of. However, if they want to make decisions like that they should also be paying for their food etc. That would mean that, in effect, the cats are pretty much theirs (unless your bf is prepared to put his food down and ask his parents to follow your instructions re their care) but I don't see any way around that. I'm also wondering how willing they will be to give up the cats should you and your bf move into a place together - the longer the cats live with them the more they are likely to see them as theirs - do you think that could be a problem?
post #6 of 54
I would purchase the cat food and deliver it to your boyfriend's parents. They are not going to spend more money than they have to for 'other' cats.
And I'd find new homes for them if you can't get them into a place of your own.
post #7 of 54
Originally Posted by xXPunkKittenXx View Post

Question 1: Does anyone have any advice for me as i have dug mysef into a huge hole. I did not know how long this problem would go on for, but i need help on the situation to see what my options are.
move out if you can and take the cats with you. get the food you want them to eat and provide it as needed to your bf parents. speak to them about this and be honest with them about your concerns i'm sure you can come up with a comprimise.


Question 2: Is it wrong to keep my cat ("Munchkin") in a large dog crate for a week or 2 to keep her from hurting herself after a major surgery she had done 3 days ago, to keep an eye on her and monitor her without completely restricting her?(it will only be like this until her ubsorbabe sutures begin to heal and she is holding down food again). Please give e your input on the matter!
not it's not many people do this as well as most vets offices. you can leave the cat in there for no more than 6 weeks if food and litter box is available. if you are waiting for sutures it should only be for 10 to 12 days for them to properly heal.
post #8 of 54
Concerning Munchkin: if you work in a vets clinic, use that "authority" to tell your BF's parents that the vet recommend that the cat is isolated for a few weeks during recovery. They really can't argue with that.

If they aren't buying the right food and you do consider them your cats, then you buy the food and give it to them. You may need to remind them that they are your cats, and you plan on taking them into your home when you are able to.
post #9 of 54
Thread Starter 
Thank you so much for your opinions and input. It makes me happy that people kinda understand my sisuation and are taking the time to let me know what they think is best, rather than dealing with that myself... i can't think on my own, and need advice alot!

I will give it a try... possessive bully parents of his... why, as soon as Munchkin got home to his house, my bf's dad took her right out of that crate, and took her into his room with the dogs... i was furious!!! well, thank you very much! I should ask for advise more often!
post #10 of 54
Thread Starter 
Yes, it has been a while. Things HAD BEEN going well for a while there, but now im back... seeking advice as now, i think back and how others on the site had told me to get them out ASAP but never did, and now i regret it.

last night among many other things, my bf's father sat me down, and threw all i had worked so hard to do in my face. he told me that he liked me and all, and was nothing but nuce to me ((which he was unless it regarded my cats and the care that i had wanted them to recive wasn't being properly given, dispite all of our tries)). He told me that the only way that the cats were leaving the house was if he physically broke their necks himself and buried them in the back yard. he would probably do it too. it made my heart sink to know that he had just kicked me while i was down, then told me that they were his and for me to name a price... if they were his, why would he wish for a price...? and im not a money wanting person... its not important to me... i didn't say he had them or not, just stared because of the pain...

so now i might just take him to court...

feel free to respond with any advice...
i know i messed up... and i want to change that...
post #11 of 54
Thread Starter 
to add to what i previously posted, i did find them a good home not too far away, maybe a mile from my home. he is a family member to one of my friends, and will most definately take great care of them, as he has taken care of his own cats in the past.

I wisll still supply the food, water, litter, etc. for him. he knows it is only temporary until i can get out of my house, which should not be too long, possibly over the summer.

it is a possibility that i will take my bf's father to small claims court, as i have all of the papers, records, vaccinations certifiicates etc.

yes i know i messed up, i admit it now and am open to critisizm in that department, but if anyone has any wishes or ideas, or even just tell me the honest truth about the situation, i understand 100% and just want to get my babies out of that situation...

if anyone has been to small claims court please explain the basic process of it all...

they were supposed to be for me and my bf only and totally knew that everyone else would get attatched... they are cats and that is expected... but they have 3 cats of their own... yes, they "rescued" a stray kitten the other month... so the question remains, dispite the feeling of attachment

why do they need my cats?
post #12 of 54
I'm sorry you're having to go through this... but I guess I'm a little confused about what the situation is? Could you link to the old thread or give us the basics of the story again?

I hope everything works out for the best of everyone involved.
post #13 of 54
I would call the police and report them stolen. Be sure to explain the situation and the threat made on their life. The police may tell you that you need to take a different course of action, but at least then you'll have information.
post #14 of 54
Thread Starter 
Alright, here is my cat background (( yeah, basically after you read this you will realize my problem )):

I work for a vet, and the local shelter and animal aid brings us kittens to either keep and adopt out there, or just run the tests and cure any illnesses before giving them back for adoption later on. During kitten season in august of '05 a man doing work on his deck in a local town brought in a small female kitten with a severe upper respiratory infection, a sore under her nose ((special word but i forgot what it is called )), coccidia and infested with fleas. I gave her her flea bath, and some top spot flea drops, and we used various medications to calm her growing U.R.I., and she spent about 2 months there, where she was placed ((once her U.R.I. ended)) with another litter of older kittens whom she was socialized with.

I grew very attached to her, and since my boyfriend's birthday was coming up, and she would be going up for adoption soon, i figured i should get him the kitten, becasue he had seen her and fell in love with her... he named her "Munchkin" because she was so tiny ((and at 1 year 7 months now, she still is)). I was picked up by his father on labor day, and i hid her in a big bag i had gotten from work. once there we set up a big dog crate, and set her up with all her supplies in the garage. it was his little sister's birthday, so when she came down to say hello she instantly saw her ((unwanted reaction)) and we told her that the cat belonged to us, not her or anyone else. we showed his dad and said the same thing, and same to his mother. they all agreed. we brought the cage to his room, and she was set up there.

about a month and a half later, they complained that she needed a friend, so i checked and a litter of tux kittens had just come in and i liked one alot. my boyfriend was going to get me him for our 1 year anniversary, but didn't have money. i bought our next cat, a cat with a hair-line lip named "Tai". His mother was right there when i signed the papers.

His parents kept buying the cats food such as Friskies to feed my cats, dispite the fact that they were on Professional Brand Kitten Formula that i had bought for them. And because my boyfriend and i were still in highschool at the time ((i still am he dropped out)), he was not home as much as his parents and sisters were. everytime the cat would meow they would automatically think "oh... the cats hungry again" but that isn't always the answer... they would feed the cats friskies all the time, making them fatter as the weeks went on. i kept getting more and more upset at the situation, and being that my boyfriends parents had grown very possessive over the months and years that followed, i kept having my boyfriend rely messages, and never stopped buying the food i wanted them on.

during spring vactation of last year, he told me that his parents had went out and got 2 more cats "of their own", and that they would most likely leave ours alone... well... didn't happen...

i being too respectful of my boyfriends parents tried to convince them in a manner that did not make me look bad. when i wanted them to stay a few days at my job because i missed them, and they lived a while away, they would get furious because i wanted to see my own cats...

last month they brought home a new kitten the found wandering the streets. me being scptical and knowing that they would immediatly want to have the kitten with the other four was actually kind of repulsing because the kitten may carrie various worms or other problems contagious to other cats such as FIV/ Feluk... i told my bf to keep our cats away from the others until the new one could be checked... resonable... right?

no of course not...

and this is the end of my "shpeal..." lol...

years this has been going on for ... 1 year and 4 months...

i have the papers right infront of me... total amount spent to date on both cats ((vet bills and estimate on food per month excluding toys and treats - yes i spoil my cats within reason )) would have to be about 800- close to 1000 dollars because "Munchkin" had an unusual Bacterial Infection or Food Allergy from sources unknown... Cancer was ruled out in the bloodwork.

She had a huge swollen hard lump around her enflamed intestines, and no one noticed. the cat was doing poorly, x-rays were run, and an exploritory surgury was performed. i payed a huge sum of money from my boss, taking 20.00 out of my small part time paychecks as i always did, and have done religiosly for as long as i have had them under MY NAME...

yes it is confusing. basically, they won't let me have what is mine. they knew that the cats belonged to me, and they couldn't stay at my home becasue my mom is allergic. but if supplies are eing supplied to you to take care of something, wouldn't you just follow those rules... they know they are not the property of them... that is why his father told me to name a price for them... but seriously, even in my positon, i speak for all cat owners when i say "our cats need no price... the price i sin our hearts with our them we are just a human with no soul... they keep us here..."
post #15 of 54
Thread Starter 
i need advise on how to get them back with me, and to avoid this and give them a better life without the worry of food borne disease and obesity, because they are all talk and will never truely know how to take care of them... they don't even know that all five cats have a cold, and mine are the only ones being treated for anything... who does't pay attention...
post #16 of 54
That's horrible! I bet you've tried, but you could remind them they gave you verbal agreement that the cats are yours. That's just a crazy situation... why would they do that? There must be some other issues that they feel they need to take out on you and your cats.

Since you have the paperwork, I would try the legal system... but that could be expensive. You do have a place to keep them, correct?

Best wishes. I hope everything turns out okay and they calm down a bit.
post #17 of 54
Thread Starter 
Thank you all for your warm wishes and advise... it is a hard story to follow, but hope i am not the one at fault here as i tried to do somehting nice for my boyfriend and now almost 2 years later, nothing i did matters... i do not like to burn my bridges so to speak, and try to be as nice as i can be, especially to my elders... but their opinions are not respectable... i cannot stress that enough... it is almost 1:00 am where i am, and i am getting tired...

please leave more messages and comments... i am goign to follow various advise from both those who have already posted to this topic, and go to the police station tomorrow, possible see what alternatives i have to possible court, as i am only 17 and still finishing highschool... if it comes to it i know i must, or have my boyfriend sneak them out his bedroom window... lol... yeah i will have it come to that, but i have to understand that he is in this situation deeper than me, as his say has nothing to do with anything, it's their way or the high way so to speak... but im going ot try every angle no matter how much money it takes or whatever to get them back...

i may not see them all too often, but they ARE mine! i know that much... so please, help me out and post some more ideas or critisizma or whtever you feel necesary...

thank you for putting up with this ongoing conflict, and i hope to bring back positive results...
post #18 of 54
I was wondering if there was a way you could just get them away from your bf's family. Sneaking them out the window really isn't that bad of an idea. After all, what's stopping his dad from doing harm to those kitties after he finds out what you're trying to do to get them back?

Seriously, if I was you, I would sneak them out and put them someplace safe until you can get a place. Somewhere your bf's parents won't think of.

But, whatever you do, good luck and I hope it works out in your favor and in your kitties favor.
post #19 of 54
I would be a little concerned about sneaking them out only because someone who threatens animals may threaten humans as well. If you do sneak them out, make sure your boyfriend has a safe place to go just in case.

By the way, I want you to know that you are handling this whole situation with a lot of maturity. No teen should have to deal with the abuse these people are putting you through when they threaten your pets. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and hoping for the best possible solution.
post #20 of 54
Thread Starter 
thank you all for all your support through this hard time for me. yeah im a little young for this. but I GOT THEM BACK TODAY!!!...

whole story in a nutshell:

i went into work early as i could ((i had to dig my car out to get to work... it snowed alot last night)), and then went to work and explained my situation to a few other people i work with at the vet's office. all of them were the same way about it "how can he do that... why... who..." they all supported me as this has been going on for a good year and few months now.

anyway, i called the local warden and ((knowing the people who work there)), they said they would go there on monday to get them for me... being that the cats were in fact kittens that came from their rescue in kitten season '05...

i told my bf who was at work and he said it was okay, he didn't really care about how his parents felt becasue fact was- they belong to me and him equally, but he knew i knew best especially after the other day. he was a bit scepticat because he knew he was going to be in a heck of trouble when monday rolled around. i went off to go shopping with my friend, to take the worry off the subject.

i got a call about 2 hours later that his mother had called him at work and asked if i wasnted to come over for dinner. the answer was an obvious one-- NO! -- because i was not on good terms with "the head of the household". He then told her that i was planning to take him to small claims court- but my boyfriend had held me back. he proceeded to tell them about the warden. his mother ranted for a while telling him about how could he let me do that to them, and why wouldn't you stop her, and all that jazz...

i kept my mouth shut for long enough, did i not. i asked them to please feed MY CATS the food they needed, i bought the toys, l itter, litter box, air freshners, vet bills etc... i had to step in
technically, it was stealing in my book...

say you have something worth alot to you, but u r moving and someone was looking after it, knowing fully well it was only temporary. then a few months later when you feel u can have it back now, they were "too attached to it" and that it wasn't leaiving unless they broke/ripped/destroyed/or killed it themselves... yes... i bet you would go after it head on wheither you make friends or enemies...

a crude example and hard place to picture yourself - right?

anyways, i picked my boyfriend up from work because he couldn't get it out of the snow, and dropped him off at home. he told me his family was in hysterics. i was concerned but at the time i wasn't upset in the least. sure, it wasn't a possision anyone wants to be in, and i understand people get attached to things easily, especially animals. but u have no papers to back it up, and i do. i would probably have abetter chance of winning in any senario...

i got home 20 mins later and the phone rang. it was my boyfriend, telling me to come back and get the cats. probably wanted to avoid any type of problem with the athorities, and knowing i would have the win (( i hope )). i went back, and he came out with "Tai" first with out a carrier bacause he just lays down on the chair next to the driver's seat. "Munchkin" next and in the carrier because 1 it is amall and 2 she gets fiesty... carrier means vet... next the food. that was it. then my boyfriend told me that his parents didn't want me near the house, or to call the house, he couldn't see or talk to me anymore ((which befuddles me because he is 19 years old)) and that he was technically exiled because he failed to help his parents this time.

i was getting ready to leave when his father, in all his anger and fury, came from the front door to my car and, after telling me to roll down my window, proceeded to say i was no longer welcome there and that he didn't want to see or here from he again and that he was done and that his daughters and wife were crying... DID I WANT TO HURT ANYONE? NO! WAS I ATTEMPTING TO RUIN ANYONE'S LIVES? NO!, they were mine, and i actually have a heart. i have no qualms about what i did... however, if i just had what i needed to be done in the first place, think of what could have been avoided...!

now i lost my boyfriend, i can't talk to him, or see him unless i go to his job which is nutral, i can just say i popped by for food or gas... say with im for a while befor ei have to go home or to work...

i got to work, placed my cats into cat condos, and set them up with all they needed. i was walking tot he front to let the receptionists know that the cats were there and to start a boarding fee on my account starting today. the manager walked in and i told her what happened and why i was there, then cried on her shoulder.

i may have lost something huge and vital-u know my bf's family...- but at least i have some people who actually care...

my best friend might coax his mother to taking them in, and he lives close enogh where i can go after school to take care of them, or his uncle may do it... but they are able to stay at my job as long as needed...

i would never give them up... they are mine... my babies...
post #21 of 54
Thread Starter 
oh yeah.. if i proceeded to go to close to the house or call for any reason they threatened to have me arrested.. YAY! uggghh...
post #22 of 54
What a trial you have been through, honey! I'm so glad you got your babies back, but so sorry you had to suffer through all of that. God bless you!
post #23 of 54
Congratulations on reclaiming your two babies. I am sorry for the sacrifices are having to make...what a horrible ordeal you have endured. I wish you and the kitties the best.
post #24 of 54
Thread Starter 
2/6/07 - yeah they are doing great, their food is portioned well and "Munchkin" isn't trying to attack, sort of like she knows whats going on. i put cat nip in the condo ((which i pulled out the bottoms of the cages in the unit to accomidate both my kitties as they stay and they have lots of space to hop around and play and what not...)).

the cat nip is working alot. Tai's eye is doing alot better ((he's on terramycin for his Feline Herpies seasonal outbreak- something his parents didn't even care about or care to check- plus every cat in the house has a cold, which mine are currently getting over.

his parents want 10,000 in cash for the cat's being at his house for a year and a half... to them everything is money. like money can calm your grief... get new cats.

so yeah... i'll give updates... from time to time... if anyone has any advice please let me know...

post #25 of 54
Congrats on getting your babies back. I'm sorry for all the hassle and problems that went with it all. It makes me sad that his father now wants money for housing your kitties specially since they were half owned by his son.
post #26 of 54
Thread Starter 
yes well, his mother went to the area court and they haven't gotten back to the family yet. i did talk to numerious police officers and teachers at school and they all said the same thing "NO... they cannot do that, there was no agreement, but the verbal one stating the cats were yours but living here..."

lol... people... using money to harness their grief... seriously... those who do that don't deserve anythin in life...
post #27 of 54
Thread Starter 
today his dad sent him to my area of town to get firewood, milk and ... yeah... my cats...

not letting them go til there is a compromise... or my bf moves out...
post #28 of 54
Thread Starter 
Okay... Latest news... I had to give the cats back to them because his parents threatened to take away his car. If he doesn't have a car he can't get to work or move out... or move on...

i gave them back... then broke up with him... i know, i know... should have broken up with him and kept the cats, but at the moment i wasn't thinking that way and just wanted him to have a life, at the expense of mine.

today i had a long convo with his sister and mother and i told them my friend could take them in... ;]... sneaky huh? lol... they just want them to be put into a "home" because it will make them sleep easier...

and believe me, there is nothing to life in a cage... i know, because i see it everyday. but it's the only ay for me to actually have them back. then maybe i can work something out for real with someone... but for now it may have to be a condo life for now...

then my ex bf decides to coem to me and tell me that his mother and sister conspire things to say and hurt me, and said they call me bad names ((not going to repeat)) and try to make me feel bad...

who do i believe?
what do i do?
after i get them, and i sneek-illy put them in my job, who's to say they show up unannounced and try to see them...?

comments please post!!
post #29 of 54
Thread Starter 
Okay.... somewhere later in the forum is my original story and responses...

i would take all night trying to tell you the whole story up until now...

but since then, i realized that what my ex boyfriends parents are doing, and it is infact extortion...

since wednesday of last week i had talked over another website where she is also a member ((so easy to know, but im not gonna say it...))

and she was discussing on how when her brother moves out soon she didn't want the cats going with him, but gave me this whole shpeel about how she didn't want the cats in a cage ((i would have to anyway because i know of no one else who can take them and they can't come to my house bacuase my mother is allergic to them...

alot went on...

if u want to know the entire story find me on myspace the link should be in y profile here...


so yeah...

help me..?!
post #30 of 54
Thread Starter 
My Boyfriend's parents are extortioning our cats ((if that is the proper term)). He is still living with them and i cannot take them due to the fact that my mom has animal based allergies. We had a verbal agreement that the cats belonged to myself, and my boyfriend, and that all of their food, and such would be provided my me. I work for a vet and am very punctual on all vaccines and medications. They onlt get the best food out there ((one of the good brands - Premium edge )) and all meds given and provided... the entire story is in a different link...

long story cut really short... i got the cats back and was keeping them at my job ((i work for a vet and cat condos were provided... they were able to get excersize with other hospital cats at night)) and then a week later they tell him that if the cats don't come back home, they will take his car away ((he lives in the middle of no where and needs to get to town at 5 am each morning for work...)) so i reluctantly gave them back... you have to understand i didn't want to be the reason why he got his car taken away and in turn lost his job too...

he has been telling me that he is taking god care of them, but all of this caused the bridge between myself and his parents to be burned... i can't see the cats while they stay there... they have been there for about 2 years now, and i understand that they have grown attatched to my cats... but i pay for them and do all i can... even the litter comes from me... no one pays anything... and i like it that way... shows my possition... but i did not gove them the cats for free...

everyone at my job knows that they are doing the wrong thing... the only part holding me back from calling the police is my boyfriend... until he gets his car in his name he can't do anything... they have 3 other cats of their own and 2 dogs... whats making my cats so special...

PLEASE reply back...

im freaking out and don't know what to do...

advise and vibes needed... :]...

:[ <--- me right now...
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