Am I wrong or a mean mom

momof3rugratz

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Ok I am on complete bedrest. I have given my kids 3 months to clean there rooms. I go up there every 2 days I have a 2 story house they get the whole upstairs so I tell them no you clean it you all live up there not me. Well nothing is done. they are 3 boys so imagine the smell and the mess. Ages 11,9,6 I am so sick of it and the fight to go to bed is ridiculas. So I took the radios away no radios till they can go to bed. they have 5 different game systems and 300 DVD and over 500 VHS.

SO here is my plan. I bought a box of 30 big black trash bags and I gave it to them and 4 boxes I told them to start with all the toys and get them in the bags and all stuffed animals. Then when done take all VHS but in boxes and all but 20 DVD,s in a box

The only thing they will now have is 20 DVD all have there tv and dvd players and a game cube with 30 games, PSP 2 with 20 games and a V-Tech woith like over 20 games. THAT IS IT.

All the bags and boxes are gonna be locked in a trailer outside. Am I being mean I can not be always cleaning up after them I have Abby on the way and it isnt fair. A 11 yr old should be able to help me out LOL no luck there. They will only do a chore a day If I give them something in return. I am sorry but to take the trash out 1x a day load the dishwasher 1x a day turn it on and take bathroom trash out 1x a day isnt to hard for 3 boys to do I mean there is 3 of them and there is a chore for each take 5 min. Am I asking to much I mean be honest am I being mean.
 

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Originally Posted by momof3rugratz

Ok I am on complete bedrest. I have given my kids 3 months to clean there rooms. I go up there every 2 days I have a 2 story house they get the whole upstairs so I tell them no you clean it you all live up there not me. Well nothing is done. they are 3 boys so imagine the smell and the mess. Ages 11,9,6 I am so sick of it and the fight to go to bed is ridiculas. So I took the radios away no radios till they can go to bed. they have 5 different game systems and 300 DVD and over 500 VHS.

SO here is my plan. I bought a box of 30 big black trash bags and I gave it to them and 4 boxes I told them to start with all the toys and get them in the bags and all stuffed animals. Then when done take all VHS but in boxes and all but 20 DVD,s in a box

The only thing they will now have is 20 DVD all have there tv and dvd players and a game cube with 30 games, PSP 2 with 20 games and a V-Tech woith like over 20 games. THAT IS IT.

All the bags and boxes are gonna be locked in a trailer outside. Am I being mean I can not be always cleaning up after them I have Abby on the way and it isnt fair. A 11 yr old should be able to help me out LOL no luck there. They will only do a chore a day If I give them something in return. I am sorry but to take the trash out 1x a day load the dishwasher 1x a day turn it on and take bathroom trash out 1x a day isnt to hard for 3 boys to do I mean there is 3 of them and there is a chore for each take 5 min. Am I asking to much I mean be honest am I being mean.
being mean?? no... not at all. and this:

"The only thing they will now have is 20 DVD all have there tv and dvd players and a game cube with 30 games, PSP 2 with 20 games and a V-Tech woith like over 20 games. THAT IS IT."

lol.. that's "all", huh? That's still a lot. 20 dvds, tv, dvd players, a game cube with 30 games, psp2 with 20 games, ect.. that is enough stuff to kill time for hours and hours..days and days. IMO, you take everything away, and they get it back when they can get off their butts and help you out.
 

jenny82

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I don't think you're being mean at all! I think that all kids should have chores to do, and they shouldn't always get something in return. They will need to learn responsibility at some point and it's easier if they learn it young. It sounds like they will still have plenty of movies and games even if you put most of them in storage for awhile. That's just IMO, I don't have kids. I can only imagine how hard it must be!
 

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You gave them 3 months to clean? There's the problem right there, thier not going to do a thing until the last minute when they think the time is running out. Sit them all down and tell them that for every day that the room isn't clean, your going to take away some of thier toys/privledges. So tomorrow if you go up there and it's not clean, confiscate the playstation. If that doesn't get thier attention, the next day take away something else they care about. Eventually thier going to want that stuff back and make a solid effort to clean up. Once it's clean I'd give them some of thier stuff back. You have to be stern though, as soon as it gets messy again, they stuff gets taken away instantly. That's what I would do anyway.
 

arcadian girl

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Originally Posted by ClaireBear

You gave them 3 months to clean? There's the problem right there, thier not going to do a thing until the last minute when they think the time is running out. Sit them all down and tell them that for every day that the room isn't clean, your going to take away some of thier toys/privledges. So tomorrow if you go up there and it's not clean, confiscate the playstation. If that doesn't get thier attention, the next day take away something else they care about. Eventually thier going to want that stuff back and make a solid effort to clean up. Once it's clean I'd give them some of thier stuff back. You have to be stern though, as soon as it gets messy again, they stuff gets taken away instantly. That's what I would do anyway.
I like this idea
 

rosiemac

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No your not mean. Most kids are sent up to their rooms as punishment, but most have a t.v., dvd player, music system etc...in their bedrooms anyway so theres no punishment there, well, that is unless you remove the plugs like my friend did
 

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I don't think your being mean enough.

The tv would have been taken away if it was my mom.
 

amberthe bobcat

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No, you are not being mean at all. If it was me, I would have taken away ALL DVD's and all the games. Then, I would have told them, you can not play any more games or watch DVD's until your rooms are clean and kept clean. However, I have no kids, but I know this is something my mom and dad would have done. My sisters and I used to have chores to do almost every day
 
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momof3rugratz

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Originally Posted by ClaireBear

You gave them 3 months to clean? There's the problem right there, thier not going to do a thing until the last minute when they think the time is running out. Sit them all down and tell them that for every day that the room isn't clean, your going to take away some of thier toys/privledges. So tomorrow if you go up there and it's not clean, confiscate the playstation. If that doesn't get thier attention, the next day take away something else they care about. Eventually thier going to want that stuff back and make a solid effort to clean up. Once it's clean I'd give them some of thier stuff back. You have to be stern though, as soon as it gets messy again, they stuff gets taken away instantly. That's what I would do anyway.
This is what we did every day for the 3 months I reminded them I was going to take there stuff away and everyday they go to there room to clean it but never done. So 3 weeks ago I walked up there and I half cleaned the room and told them they have a day to finish they did do it but then again they didnt it went under over on top of the bed dresser so I told them no the right way. I stuck to the cleaning it well it has been about 3 months now and I see my threat did not get me anywhere so I made good on it. Last Friday I told them come Monday we will be taking it all in trash bags and packages they knew this we where home all 6 days and everyday I did a count down and get this there is a white board witht he count down on it telling them I was going to do this Monday I was at the ER but I did get the bags so Yesturday it was getting all louded up. I told them if by Friday I dont see clean rooms I will take all video games away also. They yelled and said I was mean and how other kids dont have to do this. I thought reminding them of the consiquense whould work. I am at a lost.
 
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momof3rugratz

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That is why am here they are in school and I told them not to talk the whole way because if they did I would regret what would come out of my mouth and i might swear seeing I was so pissed off
 

rosey

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I don't think you are mean. I would have done a lot worse. But I would have taken away the psp and gamecube. I've threatened to empty out my daughter's room and for her to come home and just find her mattress there..worked like a charm. I would do it too.
I would have taken out the things they enjoy the MOST and anything that provides entertainment. I doubt your 11 year old is going to miss the stuffed animals much but a psp/gamecube..heck ya!

The thing is that they are still young, well the 6 year old is. I know my daughter doesn't know where to start when I tell her "clean". I need to give her specifics and that she does well.

I would expect a LOT more from the 11 year old and more from the 9 year old but the 6 year old would be a little different.

Since their area is so messed up (i'm assuming) i would give very specific instructions and when it's all said and done. Go up there EVERY and confiscate what isn't where it belongs..works wonders...

You have to be consistant though and stick with it. They will learn fast.

Good luck!

ps: read your post above..i would remind them that you are not so and so's mom or if you know that the parents are strict, you could say "oh really, you want me to call mrs so and so and find out?". I've done that too. I've even told her "i don't care what other kids can do or what other kid's parents let them do...you are my child and this is my house and these are the rules...like it or not."
Time to lay down the law. (I don't play in case you didn't notice).
 

kittiesx2

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You totally did the right thing
My older son (11) and daughter (8) have the entire upstairs to themselves including TV w/cable , DVD, PS2 and stereo system. (YES they ARE spoiled!) My son started getting into alot of trouble at school (not doing/hiding homework, backtalking teacher's) last spring and finally I told him that if he didn't straighten up he would lose everything. Those things are a privilage not a right. IMO our job as a parent is to set ground rules and FOLLOW THROUGH If they aren't holding up to their responsibilities. My son told me that he didn't care if we took everything and so I said "Okay, when you come home from school it will be gone" My husband came home on his lunch break to help me move the larger stuff and it was all put away in the garage until recently when my son was given the option of "earning" things back. He has done a complete 180 since that day. He keeps up on his school work and argues less. It's really amazing to see the change in him. Kids need boundaries and we shouldn't feel guilty when we are only doing our job as a parent.
 

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I thin you are being a little soft on them, as a good, loving mom will often be. I love Dr. Phil's what he calls "Commando parenting." He suggests you take everything away but the school books and clothes and don't give it back until they have done what they are told and maintained it for an agreed upon length of time. They are left literally with their beds and some surface to do homework on.
 

wesley's mom

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Originally Posted by arcadian girl

being mean?? no... not at all. and this:

"The only thing they will now have is 20 DVD all have there tv and dvd players and a game cube with 30 games, PSP 2 with 20 games and a V-Tech woith like over 20 games. THAT IS IT."

lol.. that's "all", huh? That's still a lot. 20 dvds, tv, dvd players, a game cube with 30 games, psp2 with 20 games, ect.. that is enough stuff to kill time for hours and hours..days and days. IMO, you take everything away, and they get it back when they can get off their butts and help you out.
I completely agree! That is more then enough for them! I never had that much great stuff growing up! I agree, I would have just taken everything away until they did what they are supposed to. If they still have all that stuff to keep them busy, they will pobabally still not do their chores. You are right, having those chores is not a lot to ask for. You are NOT mean!!!! You are the parent so you need to lay the rules down. They are old enough where they are capable of doing their chores and should be doing them every day. A mother has so much to do that a chore each should not be very much to ask for! You need to be laying down the rules and they should be obeying! They are the children!
 

reesespbc

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You're not being mean at all. My mother would've flipped if it had been 3 weeks let alone 3 months, so they've had plenty of time.

I wouldn't give them anything. I would take away every DVD, VHS, video game etc.. until they clean everything up.
 

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Originally Posted by krazy kat2

I thin you are being a little soft on them, as a good, loving mom will often be. I love Dr. Phil's what he calls "Commando parenting." He suggests you take everything away but the school books and clothes and don't give it back until they have done what they are told and maintained it for an agreed upon length of time. They are left literally with their beds and some surface to do homework on.
Do it. Do it now. If you don't remove all of this stuff now then I fear they will learn to walk over you and they will only get worse as they get older


Sorry if this sounds harsh, have a hug
 
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momof3rugratz

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ok i can not lift so I took all the cords LOL and these little memory cards and the remotes
There TV does work with remote only but I took the cable wires
I will let them know enough is enough I know they are great kids but right now I am disappointed they wopnt listen to me.
 

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According to your kids, and my kids, you and I are mean. I'm the worse parent in the world. I keep telling my son to go find a better home, but he hasn't left yet.


I hope your plan works. My oldest son 13yrs will do things to earn computer time and hates when he loses it, so he isn't too much of a problem. However, my 11 year old is more than a handful. He stays out of trouble and does well at school, but that's about it. And taking away things doesn't bother him. They have a game cube (just got it this year), but if I took it away, he wouldn't care. He doesn't play it that much anyway. His favorite thing to do is just run back and forth in the living room or family room and fall on the floor making believe he's fighting someone. How do you take that away? Tie him to a post somewhere??

Anyway, good luck. And the posts about what happened when we were kids just don't apply. LIfe is sooo different now.

Think I'll go hug my cat and dog now. At least they still love me.
 
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