I am FURIOUS! He is being a total jerk!!!!! GURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

starryeyedtiger

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I am sooooooo ticked off right now it's not even funny!
Colin is being a total #$%!
I have had an AWEFUL freakin day! Two of my favorite dogs (one we had even tried to adopt but our dogs wouldn't accept) got euthanized today....i cried the entire way home, i have to leave my kitties at the shelter for 6 days- i am really upset about that, i'm broke, and he's being an insensistive jerk! GURRRRRR! He just came home and said he had an "idea" (in a really jerky tone of voice might i add) that instead of taking our dogs to Alabama with us, he could just sick them in the backyard and have someone come 2x a day to feed/water them! What a freakin jerk!
That is just cruel! They are indoors only and are not used to being outside- let alone thrown outside for 6 days unattended!!!!
What if something happens to them- we get dogs into our shelter all the time that have gotten loose from backyards, been left unattended- you name it- not to mention dogs get run over all day long when they get loose and get out! He wants to leave our two beloved dogs in the backyard for 6 days without anyone to watch them! That's just freaking cruel- what if we have a storm? It's tornado season- they'd be left outside with only the shelter of a crappy dog house for the both of them. Not to meniton- it's mesquito season and colin STILL hasn't got Whiskey tested for heartworms so we can put him on prevenative or treat him if he's positive- he's just going to leave them out to get eat up by mesquitos and get heartworms?!!!!!! I'm furious- i'm beyond ticked off- i've had a nightmare of a day and now he pulls this! All because he doesn't want to take them to Alabama for a 6 hour drive! Well he can kiss my you know what - i'll be damned if our dogs are going to be left out to fend for themselves like that!
He was like " well you have two choices- you can go to alabama with me and leave them in the backyard ,or you can stay here and keep them in the house!" Jerk!
I'm ready to beat the snot out of him! He made me cry
I even asked him if he'd be willing to hire a critter sitter to come let them outside several times a day so they could stay inside- his reply : "I'm not wasting money on that" - my response - so what, you're not willing to spend two cents to ensure that our dogs- our responsibilty is safe and supervised????? You'd rather dump them in the backyard and abandon them for 6 days because it's "convient" for you??? What a gurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm soooo mad! Get this- then he pulled the ultimate nono - "Well this is my house and since i pay the bills for it and take care of us- what i say goes- you can eithor go to AL with me and leave them in the yard or stay with them and not go" GURRRRRRR!!! I have already taken off 6 days of work so i could freakin go with him and try to spend time with him- then he pulls this!
He has no idea how big of a donkey (for lack of a better word) he looks like right now! He can freaking sleep on the couch! HELP
 

karmasmom

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Put him in the back yard for 6 days and see how he feels
.

Seriously though. Take a deep breath, now exhale. In all reallity you are a woman you have the power. Tell him the dogs are coming with you like origanally planed or her can spend the rest of his life in the dog house.

Talk to him, find out why he said that. Did he have a stressfull day at work and took it out on you? I find that misery LOVES company. He may be mad about something else and figured why not bring you down to.

It will work out, be patient. IF not you do have a dog house he can live in.


Hugs to you


Things will be fine, most people fight right before a trip so you are normal.
 

miagi's_mommy

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aww, Nikki, I'm so sorry.
I really hope things get better soon and that he shapes up soon or tell him to go sleep outside.

this is for him!!

and I am very sorry about the dogs that got pts.
 

theimp98

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ok my friend, take it easy, relax, have a beer or 2.
how about a kennel? you know rent a home for them for a week?, or take to your mothers house.

Is there any type of doggie house or something that could be used? or he just wants to chain them up? If not and he wont do the someone come and check on them thing.
Then do the sweet southern bell thing, and tell him, well dear, since you dont seem to want me to come long with you, i will have to do are responsibi thing and hold down the home front. then give him a kiss on the cheek or something.

hmm how does that sound
 

maddensmom

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If it were me (and my logic doesn't always work out
) I'd tell him I was staying home with the pups then. I betcha he changes his tune!
Play it out as long as you have to! It may take until its actually time to leave, but make him think your serious, and if you have to bite your lip and stay home...so be it. He'll regret it. Thats just me though!


Sorry your having such a rough time!
 
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starryeyedtiger

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Originally Posted by KarmasMom

Put him in the back yard for 6 days and see how he feels
.

Seriously though. Take a deep breath, now exhale. In all reallity you are a woman you have the power. Tell him the dogs are coming with you like origanally planed or her can spend the rest of his life in the dog house.

Talk to him, find out why he said that. Did he have a stressfull day at work and took it out on you? I find that misery LOVES company. He may be mad about something else and figured why not bring you down to.

It will work out, be patient. IF not you do have a dog house he can live in
Hugs to you


Things will be fine, most people fight right before a trip so you are normal.
Thankyou
I am still soo upset
I've been crying ever since he went off on me
I mean darn it- i just had a heck of a day the last thing i need is for him to do off on me- and put our dogs lives at risk by not being a responsible owner. I'm soo upset
I think you're right- he should spend 6 days outside with food and water only 2x a day and a tiny dog house and see if he's happy!


Originally Posted by Miagi's_Mommy

aww, Nikki, I'm so sorry.I really hope things get better soon and that he shapes up soon or tell him to go sleep outside.
this is for him!!
and I am very sorry about the dogs that got pts.
Thankyou Krista
and thankyou for the cookie- i needed that!

Originally Posted by theimp98

ok my friend, take it easy, relax, have a beer or 2.
how about a kennel? you know rent a home for them for a week?, or take to your mothers house.

Is there any type of doggie house or something that could be used? or he just wants to chain them up? If not and he wont do the someone come and check on them thing.
Then do the sweet southern bell thing, and tell him, well dear, since you dont seem to want me to come long with you, i will have to do are responsibi thing and hold down the home front. then give him a kiss on the cheek or something.

hmm how does that sound
Thanks Bruce. He has already said that he "won't waste money" on a kennel or critter sitter and that he didn't want someone to have to come over 3-4 times a day to let them out! Gurrr! He is just planning on letting them loose in the backyard (no chains) and having someone check on them once or twice a day -well Fosters can climb a freakin fence- what happens when he gets loose and we're not here to look for him- what happens if he gets run over- i asked him that and he said -"we'd look for him when we get back"
NOT what i wanted to hear! Yea that really shows how much he cares about them. I'm seriously thinking about doing the southern belle thing as you mentioned and tell him to freakin go to alabama by himself since he doesn't care about his responsibilites to the dogs and that i will stay here with them and be the responsible one since he obviously isn't. GURRRR I could seriously use a drink right about now but i make it a point not to drink when i'm mad or sad (not a good habit to start).
 
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starryeyedtiger

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Originally Posted by theimp98

so i take it your mothers house is out of the question for them to stay?
yeah- i have an 11- almost 12 year old wolf mix, Ginger who is not in good condition there -it's a tinsy two bedroom duplex that already has 4 kittes and a rabbit there (right now- 3 kitties will be comming to Colins soon- but not if he keeps this up) Fosters and Whiskey would literally have no where to do i don't think - but i will ask my mom- i'm desperate
And Colin is being a total jerk- i can't believe how heartless he's acting
 

sharky

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Colin

If you dont shape up your going to get the wrath of women around the world/....
 

theimp98

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Originally Posted by sharky

Colin

If you dont shape up your going to get the wrath of women around the world/....
err, i would need some female hormon pills and a operation for me to be added to that list


hehe sorry justed wanted to point that out.

Ok your mothers out of the question, do you have any friends that you would trust to come over to the house at least twice a day?
 
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starryeyedtiger

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Originally Posted by sharky

Colin

If you dont shape up your going to get the wrath of women around the world/....
Thanks hon


Originally Posted by theimp98

err, i would need some female hormon pills and a operation for me to be added to that list


hehe sorry justed wanted to point that out.

Ok your mothers out of the question, do you have any friends that you would trust to come over to the house at least twice a day?
No
My best friend is in college and works - no time, my sister has her 3 kids, works and they only have one car- out of the question, and my other friends i like but i just don't trust them enough to let them have run of our home ya know.
 
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starryeyedtiger

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Originally Posted by theimp98

i am out of ideas then, outside of the first one. sorry
It's ok.Thankyou for trying to help me
I'm racking my brain to come up with something right now. What i'd really like to do is castrate Colin at the moment
I just can't believe how awful he's acting about his animals. It's really upsetting that he thinks he can just throw them in a backyard while we're gone.
 

bonnie1965

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I am still rather new here so not sure if my 2 cents are worth quite that
but I only have two responses.

The rational response, ask him what is the matter and talk it out.

The ummm other response: envision yourself at home with your critters, with 6 days off and no one around to bother you or make you angry. Rent DVDs and get some Ben and Jerry's. Let him drive himself. You get your vacation and your animals are safe.

I would choose the second response but then again, there is probably a reason I have never been married
 

arcadian girl

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I'm sorry you're going through this - so far, from what you've said about Colin, he's seemed like a nice guy, and good/responsible with animals, so I'm really surprised that he's acting this way.

For one thing, the "I pay the bills so what I say goes" throws up a bit of a red flag for me. That's no way to conduct an adult relationship - that's the kind of relationship a parent has with their child - "I work and make money and pay the bills, so I tell you what to do". That's not the basis of a healthy relationship between boyfriend and girlfriend or man and wife. He's not trying to work things out with you, he's saying flatly "this is how it is, and if you don't like it, that's too bad".. and that's not how to treat someone you love.

Not to mention everything you've said is true, about it being really irresponsible to just throw two indoor dogs in the backyard for almost a week.

If I were you I'd stay home - after being talked to like that, I don't even think I'd want to go to Alabama. You deserve better, you know.

I hope you're able to work something out with him <3
 

KitEKats4Eva!

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Oh dear. You poor thing. That must be frustrating and infuriating and not only that - quite shocking. Is this normal for him? Or is it completely out of the blue? Because if the latter, I'm betting there's more to it than just him not wanting to spend the money.

What's he normally like with your animals? Kind and caring? Or indifferent?

I can see why you're so upset, I'd be heartsick as well.

But if I were in your shoes, there'd be no issue. I'd stay home. It's that simple. If you go when things stand like this a) he'll know that you'll do whatever he wants whenever he offers you an ultimatum, so he has total control and power over you, and b) you'll probably have an awful time because you'll be furious with him and vice versa.

I would stand up to him, in a calm and rational way, and say you've considered his offer (like it was an offer, not an ultimatum) and that you've decided that you'll stay home with the dogs. That that's the humane and responsible thing to do, and if it's the only option then it's the one you'll take.

Nobody has the right to offer you ultimatums at all, ever, particularly not ones that are so unfair. Think about what may have happened in the past when similar situations (if there have been any) arise. Do you give in? Do you do what he wants? Is he used to pushing you around emotionally? If so, now's your chance to even up the scale a bit, and get some control back over your life and the things that matter to you.

Even if he couldn't care less about them, the fact remains that animals are your life, your job, your heart - so he should have some respect for your love for them, even if he has none towards them himself.

Be strong honey, and stand up to your man. If you remain true to yourself, things have a way of working themselves out.

 

lsulover

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Oh Nikki, I am sorry you were having such a bad day.

I do hope that things are better now.

Sending you some hugs from Mississippi, it sound like you could use them. I wish I could give them to you in person.

 

katiemae1277

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I'm with a couple of the other posters, I'd be staying home with the dogs. I learned as a child that when my parents said something like that, ie "do whatever you want" and I did it, they changed their tune really quick, if you say you're staying home with the dogs then Colin will either a) set up a more resonable care plan for the dogs, or b) got to AL by himself either way, you win IMO, like Bonnie said, dust off the DVD player and find a big spoon
 
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