My Abby is 10 and she has had a lot of health problems over the past few years. She's my baby, so I do worry about her dying. But I know she can't outlive me and that it's going to happen someday. I just hope it's peaceful when she does go.
I lost Jessica almost 3 years ago. She was 19 and had cancer. She died just 5 days after we found out she was ill. I had the strangest thing happen before she died... I had gone to WalMart that day and for some reason, I just started freaking out in the middle of an aisle. I got this gut feeling that I needed to leave and go home, so I did. Left my cart full of stuff and went home. Jessica was having trouble walking and breathing, so she'd move a few steps and sit down. But all day long, she kept making the rounds to all of her favorite spots in the house. So I had a feeling her time was going to be soon. That night, around 11:45pm, me, my mom, and my dad were all sitting in my room around the chair that Jessy was laying on. Dad left and went to bed. Mom left to go to the bathroom. It was just me and her, and that's when she lifted her head (which she hadn't done in days because she was too weak) and looked back at me. Looked right into my eyes as if she was saying goodbye. Then she peed on the blanket in the chair. So I lifted her up and set her on my bed, brought the blanket out to the washer, and came back to my room. I sat on my bed and she was trying to get into the pet carrier I had on my bed. She liked sleeping in that when she was sick. So I went to pick her up and put her inside, and there was this force that literally pushed her into my arms as I was trying to put her inside the pet carrier. It was the strangest thing that I just cannot describe to anyone. By that point, my mom was in there with me too and she saw it happen so I know I wasn't just distraught and crazy! Haha All of this happened on a Sunday when the vet clinic was closed, so we decided that if Jessica made it until Monday, that we needed to put her to sleep. Just moments later, she passed away in my arms.
I had never lost anything or anyone close to me before, so Jessica was my first experience of death. I'm a firm believer that all things happen for reasons that we never find out until later on. I believe her death was to prepare me for what I was later going to go through with my grandmother, who, oddly enough, had cancer that was too far progressed to do anything about and passed away last May.
After everything I've experienced over the past few years, it is my wish for all - human and animal lives - to die peacefully in their sleep. I know it's frightening, but it's a lot better than some other ways there are to die. I watched my grandmother suffer until the very last breath she took, and that is something I wouldn't wish on anyone or anything.