Rules Of The South...Y'all

Texas is not for the feint of heart...

Texas has every poisonous snake and spider known to mankind. Texas has water moccasins as big around as your leg, 300-pound feral hogs, and spiders as big as your fist. Even the Native Americans in Texas, the Karankawa, were larger-than-life, at six to seven feet tall (and reputably cannibals).

Texas has chiggers in the grass (nasty, tiny, itchy bugs that burrow under your skin), fire ants everywhere (can swarm over and kill a calf), mosquitos, severe droughts, floods, extreme heat, hurricanes, and tornadoes.

Funny, Texans don't complain about the heat or the weather. I guess it would be like complaining that you don't like the sky blue.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM OKLAHOMA IF...



- You know the difference between the city of Durant and the city of Doo-rant.

- It doesn't seem odd to see the term "chicken fried chicken" on a menu.

- You have used the phrase "fixin' to" during the last 12 months.

- Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.

- You save all your life for your dream vacation, and use it to go to the OU/Texas game.

- A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.

- It doesn't seem peculiar if your spouse says "I'm going in to town for something" even though you live in town.

- You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Gotebo, and Okemah.

- You can remember the last 12 times a state legislator seriously introduced a bill involving castration, and he didn't mean farm animals.

- You don't turn on the news until 20 minutes past the hour, because that's the only thing you care about anyway.

- You know exactly what calf fries are, and eat them anyway.

- When someone refers to the current season, you have no idea if they mean spring, summer, fall, winter or football.

- "Howdy" seems to be a normal way of greeting another adult, with no irony intended.

- You think that people who complain about the wind in other states are sissies.

- It bothers you not one iota to use an airport named for a man who died in an airplane crash. (Actually two airports named after two guys who died inthe same airplane crash.)

- A bad traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a four-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the other go first.

- You know in which state Miam-uh is and in which state Miam-ee is.

Originally Posted by Telynn

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM OKLAHOMA IF...

- A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.

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I deny this, I swear!

Originally Posted by Telynn

- You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Gotebo, and Okemah.

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Gotebo is fun to say.

Originally Posted by Telynn

- You think that people who complain about the wind in other states are sissies.

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My husband admits to getting on the ROOF to look for the funnel.

Originally Posted by Telynn

My husband admits to getting on the ROOF to look for the funnel.

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Well that's just silly, why would anyone go up on a roof during a storm? (nevermind a possible tornado!), you're likely to get zapped off by lightning.

Well, he was a kid. And his older brother went up there too.

Originally Posted by SwampWitch

Texas is not for the feint of heart...

Texas has every poisonous snake and spider known to mankind. Texas has water moccasins as big around as your leg, 300-pound feral hogs, and spiders as big as your fist. Even the Native Americans in Texas, the Karankawa, were larger-than-life, at six to seven feet tall (and reputably cannibals).

Texas has chiggers in the grass (nasty, tiny, itchy bugs that burrow under your skin), fire ants everywhere (can swarm over and kill a calf), mosquitos, severe droughts, floods, extreme heat, hurricanes, and tornadoes.

Funny, Texans don't complain about the heat or the weather. I guess it would be like complaining that you don't like the sky blue.

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Louisiana has some of those mentioned too.

Originally Posted by Hilda>^..^<

Hehe...just got this in my inbox...thought I'd pass it on...

1. Pull your saggy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap around right, your head ain't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight; it's called a "dirt road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you
drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are called cows & hogs. That's why they smell to you.
They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-75 goes north, I-10 goes west. Pick one.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton pickers that are driven only 4 weeks a year.

6. So every person in the south waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you
don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of
November.

10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu.
Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup!
Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!! Real chili never met a
tomato!

13. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she
better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.

16. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities, Universities, and Vo-techs. They come outta there
with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for the holidays.

17. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.

18. We say ya'll,get used to it.

19. The south is the greatest!! If you are from the south you are part of the best people in the USA!!


Hilda>^..^<

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I am glad I live in the South

Originally Posted by Trouts mom

OMG thank goodness I don't live in the South

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Thank goodness I do, I wouldn't know how to act anywhere else.

Okay, here are the ones from my neck of the woods.

You know you're from Pennsylvania if...

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1."Hey yunz guyz!" is a greeting.

2.One of the highlights of your life was a field trip to Penn's Cave and Horseshoe curve.

3.You know exactly what to do when your mother tells you to "red up" your room.

4.You know the time and location of every "wing night" in a 20 mile radius.

5.You don't think people from Philly or Pittsburgh talk funny.

6.You don't understand all the hype about Rolling Rock beer; you've been drinking it for years even though Iron City is better.

7.You are over 35 yrs. old, have never been outside of Pennsylvania and don't see any need to leave.

8.You own only three spices: "salt, pepper and Heinz ketchup." (or possibly A-1 and Heinz 57 sauces)

9.You design your children's Halloween costumes to fit over a snow suit.

10,Driving is always better in winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

11.You find -20 degrees just a little chilly.

12.You can recite the four seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

13.Words like "hoagie", "chipped ham", and "pop" actually mean something to you.

14.You can use the phrase "fire-hall wedding reception" and not even bat an eye.

15.You think very little of an Amish buggy on the road.

16.You learned long ago how to "step carefully" around the buggy tie-ups in the supermarket parking lot.

17.You constantly refer to Pennsylvania as "PA". How many other states do that?

18.You can go 4 weeks in winter without sunshine and think this is normal.

19.You know that Blue Ball, Intercourse, Bird-in-Hand, Mars, Venus, and Slippery Rock are all PA towns.

20. You know all the words to the "Pittsburgh Steelers Polka"

You know that you're from Arizona if:

Your new car comes with oven mitts (steering wheels get HOT and don't EVEN think of opening the hood without protection.)

You can properly pronounce AJO (AH-ho), BOWIE (BOO-ee), CHOLLA (CHOY-ya) and PRESCOTT (press-KIT).

Arizona has more species of rattlesnake, than any other state - watch where you step, don't turn over rocks and don't put your hands anyplace, that you can't see.

Almost EVERYTHING, that grows naturally has thorns - that teddy bear cholla cactus just LOOKS cuddly.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM OKLAHOMA IF...

Is very similar to Alabama!


- It doesn't seem odd to see the term "chicken fried chicken" on a menu.

- You have used the phrase "fixin' to" during the last 12 months.

- Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.

- You save all your life for your dream vacation, and use it to go to the OU/Texas game. This would be the Alabama/Auburn game here

- A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.

- It doesn't seem peculiar if your spouse says "I'm going in to town for something" even though you live in town.

- You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Gotebo, and Okemah. Well, Eufaula anyways...


- When someone refers to the current season, you have no idea if they mean spring, summer, fall, winter or football. (Add "deer" and "turkey")

Allie--
I'd like to add

You know what Gary IN smells like.

And a few Ohio ones, just what I remember from all those lists that float around:

You know what's knee-high-by-the-fourth-of-july
You know how to say Tuscarawas, Wapakoneta, Olentangy... and in Ohio Russia is roo-she, Lima is Lie-muh, Santa Fe is Santa Feee
You measure distance in minutes
If someone told you they were going up the pike a ways... you would know where they were going

Originally Posted by lionessrampant

Chicago is in the midwest but we're not very "midwestern"...although we've still got the friendiness going for us!
Without further ado....

Welcome to Chicago!

Next, if your road map is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy a new one.
If you are in Naperville and your map is one day old, then it is already obsolete.

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While on a bus tour with a group, our leader got us lost south of town. Turns out the map was printed before the Fermi Lab - where they were trying to get us through! Dad took over and brought out the map we had.

Originally Posted by lionessrampant

There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Chicago.
We all drive like that.

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I know. We see you guys when you drive through Evansville on your way south.

Originally Posted by lionessrampant

The minimum acceptable speed on the Dan Ryan is 85. Anything less is considered downright sissy.

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I know that one from personal experience. You speed up or get run over.

Originally Posted by katl8e

You know that you're from Arizona if:

You can properly pronounce AJO (AH-ho), BOWIE (BOO-ee), CHOLLA (CHOY-ya) and PRESCOTT (press-KIT).

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And Huachuca? (Gesundheit! )

You know you're from Philadelphia when:

1. You think cheesesteaks are gourmet food.

2. Ditto for those "soft" pretzels, with mustard, that the street vendor with the dirty hands (with which he just took a whizz and wiped his nose) dispenses to you by the Rocky statue (which has been moved, though!) outside the Philly Art Museum.

3. You no longer notice the homeless people sleeping on the vents at the corner of 4th and Market Streets (I know this isn't funny--sorry, but Philly folks just step over them--it's awful).

4. Your facial skin is permanently dyed green and silver from face painting at football games.

5. The only matching clothing ensemble you own is in green, and consists of: an Eagles sweatshirt, matching sweatpants, jacket, and a plastic Eagles eagle head, complete with beak.

6. You have frequent customer miles at every body piercing/tattooing shop on South Street. ("For every 10 piercings or tattoos, get one FREE!!!")

7. You say, "Shreet and shnow" for "Street and "snow".

8. You're a guy, yet you'd happily dress up in white pantyhose to be in the Mummer's Parade, and nobody thinks you're odd.

9. You pronounce the local football team's name as "Da Eggles".

10. You know they really don't call New Jersey "Joysey".

Sorry, it's all I can come up with now! Going back to bed.

MargeCat