Church Bloopers

reesespbc

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These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:


Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.


The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.


The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight will be "Searching for Jesus."


Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall; Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.


Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.


The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.


Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.


Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.



For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.


Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.


Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.


The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth Into Joy."


Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.


A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.


At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.



Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.


Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.


Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.


The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and gracious hostility.


Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM; prayer and medication to follow.


The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.


This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.


Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.


The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.


Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.



The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.


The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours
 

ilovesiamese

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There were a few good ones. I liked the one : "Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children."
 

katiemae1277

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those were o funny!!! my favorites:

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

&

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall; Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
 

silentnate

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Originally Posted by ReesesPBC

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours
Those are too funny, but I reckon the person doing the bulletins does some deliberately as I have heard that even Xstians have a sense of humour
 
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