Some funnies from a wonderful site I've just found:
http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/
These are true stories from tech support people around the world.
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Tech Support: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer: "A white one."
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While working in tech support, a user called me with a problem with their PC. I would ask her to look at something, and she'd set the phone down and walk across the room and then come back. Realizing it would take forever to troubleshoot the problem that way, I told her it would be easier if she could be on the phone and doing the commands at the same time. I asked if there was a phone closer to the machine. She said that there was, and I asked her to transfer me to that extension.
She did. The phone rang and rang and rang, and there was no answer. I called her back and told her. She said, "Oh...you wanted me to answer it?"
I think she thought I could fix her problem through a ringing telephone.
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I run a chat room on the Internet. One evening, a user "kathryn" entered the room, and her chosen username appeared on the list of users present. One of the regular users greeted her. She said, "How do you know my name?"
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Tech Support: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
Customer: "How do you spell that?"
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Once I was walking a gentleman through the steps to do something -- I don't even remember what -- and when we finished, a dialog box appeared. It offered to do what we wanted it to and had a single button -- the OK button.
He sat there for a minute and then, frustrated, asked me what he had to do next.
"Tell the computer 'OK,'" I said.
He leaned forward and said in a loud but clear voice, "OK!"
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At our company we have asset numbers on the front of everything. They give the location, name, and everything else just by scanning the computer's asset barcode or using the number beneath the bars.
Customer: "Hello. I can't get on the network."
Tech Support: "Ok. Just read me your asset number so we can open an outage."
Customer: "What is that?"
Tech Support: "That little barcode on the front of your computer."
Customer: "Ok. Big bar, little bar, big bar, big bar . . ."
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Tech Support: "Tell me, is the cursor still there?"
Customer: "No, I'm alone right now."
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The lady was using a power strip to plug her computer and other devices into. Windows was completely frozen, and she was unable to shut down the machine by using the power button. She mentioned the power strip, so I told her to flip it off. She said, "Ok, I gave it the finger. I feel better."
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Tech Support: "Ok sir, we'll do a file search to find it. Can you please click on Start, then Find, then--"
Customer: "Don't talk down to me like that! I'm not an idiot -- I know what I'm doing!"
Tech Support: "Ok sir, please Start, then Find to do a file search."
Customer: "How do I do that?"
http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/
These are true stories from tech support people around the world.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer: "A white one."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
While working in tech support, a user called me with a problem with their PC. I would ask her to look at something, and she'd set the phone down and walk across the room and then come back. Realizing it would take forever to troubleshoot the problem that way, I told her it would be easier if she could be on the phone and doing the commands at the same time. I asked if there was a phone closer to the machine. She said that there was, and I asked her to transfer me to that extension.
She did. The phone rang and rang and rang, and there was no answer. I called her back and told her. She said, "Oh...you wanted me to answer it?"
I think she thought I could fix her problem through a ringing telephone.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I run a chat room on the Internet. One evening, a user "kathryn" entered the room, and her chosen username appeared on the list of users present. One of the regular users greeted her. She said, "How do you know my name?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
Customer: "How do you spell that?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Once I was walking a gentleman through the steps to do something -- I don't even remember what -- and when we finished, a dialog box appeared. It offered to do what we wanted it to and had a single button -- the OK button.
He sat there for a minute and then, frustrated, asked me what he had to do next.
"Tell the computer 'OK,'" I said.
He leaned forward and said in a loud but clear voice, "OK!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
At our company we have asset numbers on the front of everything. They give the location, name, and everything else just by scanning the computer's asset barcode or using the number beneath the bars.
Customer: "Hello. I can't get on the network."
Tech Support: "Ok. Just read me your asset number so we can open an outage."
Customer: "What is that?"
Tech Support: "That little barcode on the front of your computer."
Customer: "Ok. Big bar, little bar, big bar, big bar . . ."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "Tell me, is the cursor still there?"
Customer: "No, I'm alone right now."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The lady was using a power strip to plug her computer and other devices into. Windows was completely frozen, and she was unable to shut down the machine by using the power button. She mentioned the power strip, so I told her to flip it off. She said, "Ok, I gave it the finger. I feel better."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "Ok sir, we'll do a file search to find it. Can you please click on Start, then Find, then--"
Customer: "Don't talk down to me like that! I'm not an idiot -- I know what I'm doing!"
Tech Support: "Ok sir, please Start, then Find to do a file search."
Customer: "How do I do that?"
