I love Steven Wright and wanted to share some of his one liners with everyone! Hope they make you laugh as much as I did!
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is it considered a hostage situation?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from….
I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I would be gone. I said, “The whole time.â€
Is it true that cannibals donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t eat clowns because they taste funny?
If itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s tourist season, why canâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t we shoot them?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word lisp to have an “s†in it?
Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people seem bright till you hear them speak….
Why are they called apartments when there all stuck together?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
If “con†is the opposite of “pro†then what is the opposite of congress?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag, and garments in a suitcase?
Do roman paramedics refer to IVâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s as 4â€s?
Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
Why is it a penny for your thoughts but you put your 2 cents in? Someoneâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s making a penny.
I broke a mirror in my house so Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m suppose to get bad luck for seven years but my lawyer says he can get me five.
-Steven Wright
No other comedian like him!
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is it considered a hostage situation?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from….
I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I would be gone. I said, “The whole time.â€
Is it true that cannibals donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t eat clowns because they taste funny?
If itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s tourist season, why canâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t we shoot them?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word lisp to have an “s†in it?
Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people seem bright till you hear them speak….
Why are they called apartments when there all stuck together?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
If “con†is the opposite of “pro†then what is the opposite of congress?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag, and garments in a suitcase?
Do roman paramedics refer to IVâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s as 4â€s?
Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
Why is it a penny for your thoughts but you put your 2 cents in? Someoneâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s making a penny.
I broke a mirror in my house so Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m suppose to get bad luck for seven years but my lawyer says he can get me five.
-Steven Wright
No other comedian like him!
