Taking A Cat Back

pekoe & nigel

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I'm so glad that your kitties are getting along better. When I first got mine (brothers at 5 months) Nigel was very skiddish of everyone. When I would put down their wet food he would growl and swat at Pekoe and try to steal Peek's food. I didn't have a great impression of him based only on our first few days together. Pekoe on the other hand was affectionate from our first evening together and was my "favourite" cat right away.

Now Nigel is still a bit timid around unfamiliar people or sudden noises but he is so affectionate and lovely to me. His table manners have improved now that he knows there is always enough food and he doesn't have to fight for it (though he does still steal from Pekoe sometimes...
). And I can honestly say neither one is my favourite because they're both such great cats.

So your first impressions may be wrong! We've only been together for about 2 1/2 months now and there are still parts of their personalities I'm just getting to know. So good luck to the three of you.
 
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deelovely79

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deelovely79

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Oh I forgot the best part, I was telling them how Princess Frenchie won't eat dry food anymore and how I'm going to have to suck up the extra expense. They were like just put the dry food and don't give her wet (well that obviously won't work 'cause I was giving dry in the morning/free feed during the day and wet in the evening but taking everyones bowl up at night so they only have water.), actually dry food is good for them it helps keep their teeth clean.
 

emmylou

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My vet said that giving a cat both wet and dry food is best. But cats can do very well on either kind, so you should do whatever works for you.

It is very normal for cats to be scared of brooms (and vacuum cleaners). They don't like the noise they make, or the disruption to their environment. So there's nothing wrong with this cat for disliking the broom... it's natural.

And I agree with the others that a little hissing and swiping at each other is not a problem. If the cats aren't injuring each other and are just hissing and swiping at each other sometimes, then they actually *are* getting along pretty well. If they were really fighting you'd know it.

I don't think you can expect to love or not love a new pet after only four days. It's just arrived.
 

happy cat

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if it isn't working, take her back.
sometimes cats have personality differences, and you could stand your head and spit wooden nickles and it wouldn't make a difference. Maybe that one needs to be an "only cat" in the family...just a thought
 

bonnie1965

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Frenchie is lovely! Definitely deserves to be a princess
The little one, Tara, is adorable too. Comparing them, to me, is like comparing apples and oranges. They are two different cats with different life experiences - just like people.
I am betting they will get along fine in time. Just make sure Frenchie has a place to escape where the little one cannot get to her and she won't feel picked on. That way she can come to grips with things in her own time.

Sebastian and I lived with another cat, Pookie for 9 years - for the last three years they were the only cats in the house. Pookie never did get around to admitting she cared anything for poor Seb. She was the queen, he was the common peasant. Never fazed him, he didn't seem to care what she thought, but she had an attitude about it. They managed to live and grow in a form of domestic peace.

When Seb and I moved out, she was lost. Looked all over for him. Even now, when I take him to visit, he is more upset about it than she is. She seems happy, in her own regal way, to have him there. He just wants to go home lol. But, she was never a lovey cat to other cats or dogs - just with people.

I say don't give up on her. I would bet a fur-covered mouse that she surprises you.
 

fluffysimba

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LOL some cats simply take a long time to get used to the idea of a new animal around. In your case it's a totally new EVERYTHING. I think Frenchie might be aptly named and is going to be the queen. I have a Queen too. Her name is Sanura. NO new cat is allowed inot her home and do anything until she gives the a-ok. She hisses and growls to let them know that SHE is the Queen - they are the subjects. Then after a month - it's cool.


You think your situation was bad - you should've seen it when I brought Tristan home. Sanura did her Queen thing and Tristan was totally insulted and he taught her he wasn't taking her rude treatment laying down. It probably took them at least 2 months to stop the hissing and pouncing stuff.
 

carolpetunia

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As someone else said, the shelter lady sounds fairly misguided... I wouldn't pay too much attention to her advice on how to handle your kitties!

But I do agree that you should give it time -- much more time, at least a month. Let the kitties have time to settle in and get accustomed to their new home...and give Frenchie time to grow on you.
There's always time later on to change your mind if things really don't work out...
 

booktigger

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Sadly, another misguided comment from your rescue person - dry food doesn't actually do all that much to help their teeth, and certain cats just will not change 'type' of food and would rather starve, which isn't good. Why would you pull all the food up at night and just let them have water? All the cats I have had loved to nibble at food overnight.
 

epona

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I think it's completely normal to go through the 'oh no, what have I done!' feelings when you first bring new pets into your life.

I first got Radar as a little kitten, he was my first ever cat, and I was completely unprepared for the amount of energy he had and his constant need for attention. The first few days with him were awful. I cried frequently because I thought I couldn't cope with him, I wondered why we had got him at all, I thought he was very cute, but I didn't immediately bond with him or love him, mostly because I was so exhausted and driven to despair by his normal kitten behaviour.

It didn't take long though, after a week I was starting to get used to him, and finding his behaviour entertaining and sweet rather than exasperating. We are now inseperable - he is absolutely adored and I would never willingly part with him.

Then we got Sonic and went through pretty much the same emotions for the first week we had him! He is also very much loved now
We still can't leave them unattended together, because Radar is older and bigger but more playful and Sonic loves playing with him for a while, but hisses and hides under the sofa when he's had enough, but Radar ignores the hissing - and Sonic isn't yet large enough to be able to back up his hissing with language which Radar wouldn't be able to ignore, ie. swatting and pinning him down to say enough is enough. They don't hate each other, in fact they love interacting! And they will work it out in the course of time
 

bemyonlyone

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I did. I failed.

But the problem was with me, not him, and I knew it wasn't fair that he should wait around for me to get better, and suffer in the process.

This is why I sometimes think I should never bring another cat home with me, for fear of the same thing happening again. I simply cannot go through that heartbreak a second time.
 

minnie&cyclopes

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I am so glad you didn't give her back...
When I adopted Cyclopes, Minnie hated him and would try and beat him up..Cyclopes had so many other problems I was so worried but now you can't seperate them...they are best friends...Your two babies will form the same bond and you and Frenchie will too. I couldn't make an emotional connection with Cyclopes for an entire year it was so hard! Now he is a snuggle bug...you wait and see things will be great!! I am so proud of you for sticking it out!
 

larke

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Hi - just some trivia to lighten the day - your cat looks a lot like a Japanese bobtail - all white with just a smidge of black on their heads and tails, plus they love to swim(!). If you have nothing else to do :-), Google the name and 'Image' on Advanced search to see what I mean. Yours is 99% unlikely to be a purebred (they're pretty rare on the street), but I thought you might be interested anyhow.
 
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deelovely79

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Yes, Epona - you've described exactly what I was going through. I think that maybe I needed the Feliway as much as the cats did? Things are definitely better, the three of us have had some bonding time over the weekend as I've let them out into the rest of the apartment together. Tara keeps trying to feel Princess Frenchie out by sniffing her, one time I was petting the Princess and Tara slowly came up to her and touched her nose to hers but then the Princess hissed and Tara drew back a little. I think Princess Frenchie is scared of Tara more than anything, Tara is an active young cat and she is overweight and only has one eye. At the same time the Princess is very interested in Tara and appears to be learning "how to be a cat" from her little sister. I've noticed that Princess Frenchie's meowing is sounds almost like a normal cat verus the way she used to squeek, she attempted to do that jump up and brush against you thing that cats do, she tried to bat at Da Bird and she tried to pounce onto a toy mouse (after seeing Tara go mouse crazy for several hours on Sat.). As much as Princess Frenchie pretends to detest Tara she will sneak up and sniff her or if she leaves the room she will follow her and watch her from a distance. I'm still locking the up seperately when I'm gone 'cause Tara will eat Frenchies food and will use all litter boxes available (I have three). I think if she was around Tara all day that would stress her out a bit. I think Tara is dominant but since she wants to play with Frenchie she doesn't return hostilities, half the time Tara will back off the stare down (she either run back to me or look to me for a cue of what to do) the other half the time Tara will stand her ground (she may avert her gaze but she won't move) and Princess Frenchie will run. Funnything is is that when they hear the sounds of other apartment doors open, Tara turns into a dog and growls and guards the door and Frenchie will run but if the sound is really loud both of them will run under the bed together!! I've got a vet appt on Sat and she said she should be able to help me with Frenchie's diet. I take the food up at night 1) because I'm trying to keep a semblance of 2 meals (I do leave dry out during the day for free feed) and 2) because I feed wet food at night.
 
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deelovely79

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I'm not really paying attention to home visit people, I didn't dispute them because I'm a new cat owner so to them me telling them what I read on this site and About.com Cats (that was my main research source) wasn't going to influence them. When I talked about the fact that I have to sit with Frenchie and persuade her to eat (she only eats like a few bites of dry and when I give her wet she eats it but she barely finishes a 3 oz can/pouch but that's all she's eaten for the entire day). They were like she's not hungry if she doesn't eat and she's not going to starve she needs to loose weight any! Meanwhile both this woman and her husband were morbidly obese.
 
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deelovely79

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Larke, I googled Japanese bobtails and unfortunately they look nuthing like the Princess, her coat is very busy and her tail is long and bushy. I may do some investigating and try and see what breed she could be.
 

epona

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Originally Posted by DeeLovely79

Yes, Epona - you've described exactly what I was going through. I think that maybe I needed the Feliway as much as the cats did? Things are definitely better, the three of us have had some bonding time over the weekend as I've let them out into the rest of the apartment together. Tara keeps trying to feel Princess Frenchie out by sniffing her, one time I was petting the Princess and Tara slowly came up to her and touched her nose to hers but then the Princess hissed and Tara drew back a little. I think Princess Frenchie is scared of Tara more than anything, Tara is an active young cat and she is overweight and only has one eye. At the same time the Princess is very interested in Tara and appears to be learning "how to be a cat" from her little sister. I've noticed that Princess Frenchie's meowing is sounds almost like a normal cat verus the way she used to squeek, she attempted to do that jump up and brush against you thing that cats do, she tried to bat at Da Bird and she tried to pounce onto a toy mouse (after seeing Tara go mouse crazy for several hours on Sat.). As much as Princess Frenchie pretends to detest Tara she will sneak up and sniff her or if she leaves the room she will follow her and watch her from a distance. I'm still locking the up seperately when I'm gone 'cause Tara will eat Frenchies food and will use all litter boxes available (I have three). I think if she was around Tara all day that would stress her out a bit. I think Tara is dominant but since she wants to play with Frenchie she doesn't return hostilities, half the time Tara will back off the stare down (she either run back to me or look to me for a cue of what to do) the other half the time Tara will stand her ground (she may avert her gaze but she won't move) and Princess Frenchie will run. Funnything is is that when they hear the sounds of other apartment doors open, Tara turns into a dog and growls and guards the door and Frenchie will run but if the sound is really loud both of them will run under the bed together!! I've got a vet appt on Sat and she said she should be able to help me with Frenchie's diet. I take the food up at night 1) because I'm trying to keep a semblance of 2 meals (I do leave dry out during the day for free feed) and 2) because I feed wet food at night.
That all sounds as if it's going ok, a bit of hissing and growling is to be expected, they are finding their feet and working out who is going to be the dominant cat. I agree with separating when you're not around to supervise, until they are more settled with each other.

Really the way you describe their behaviour towards each other it sounds perfectly normal, as long as they aren't tearing chunks out of each other I wouldn't worry - they will work it all out amongst themselves in due course. And you will I am sure become very attached to both of them in time - you need time to adjust too
 

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Hi, and welcome to TCS! You'll love it here...for many of us, these forums are somewhat of...well...an obsession!
Never will you find a more knowledgeable, friendlier, cat-loving community!

I'm just going to say that both of your new furkids are lovely!
Frenchie looks like a solid, fluffy, big girl who will EVENTUALLY give you a lot of joy and happiness...she just probably will need plenty of time to adjust and come into her own, so to speak. Tara is a youngin'...believe me, they tend to adjust far more readily to change, and accept other felines more easily than an adult cat. This is part of her appeal, as she seems to be taking her new lifestyle with you without a lot of hassle...that's the older kitten way!

I would venture to guess that Princess Frenchie hasn't been dealt an easy hand in life so far. She may have been neglected, abandoned, or put in some frightening scenarios in her 2 years of life. For many adult cats, being in a shelter situation can be traumatic, stressful, and scary. Can you imagine how you would have felt as a young child if your parents all of the sudden decided to either abandon you, or send you to a foreign place where you knew no one...or if that place offered you for the first time a warm place to sleep, new smells, different noises, and you just couldn't seem to understand why this was happening? Well, this is the story for most cats in shelters. And then, suddenly, some person comes along, and takes you (with a rather boisterous and unsavory younger child) to a place where there are yet again new sounds, new sights, new smells...oh! And this younger child won't leave me alone long enough to process and and get used to these new surroundings! I think you see where this is going...

Cats are creatures of habit. They don't like change, and it can create a lot of turmoil for them when their normal routines and environment are disrupted in some way. A lot of them seem aloof to us when we bring them home...and many remain in hiding (because hey, it's scary out from underneath that bed!!!) for a few weeks! And then we as their new owners start to wonder...what's wrong with this cat? Why won't she play with me? Why won't she let me hold her or sit on my lap? Why all of this hissiness with the other newcomer?

The answer is time and a lot of patience. Princess Frenchie has a lot of new things to adapt to, and this will take a lot of time. Give her several weeks, if not months...you will notice that if you introduce her to Tara slowly, and gradually, and allow her to investigate your home in small "bites" rather than allowing her free reign all at once, she'll be able to adapt more happily. It's going to take quite a while before you really see Frenchie's personality start to shine...she's too busy trying to get used to these changes, and she's stressed! Once she starts to feel comfortable, she'll thank you in her own way for allowing her the extra time to show you that she deserves a place in your home with her. She may even surprise you, and learn that she actually enjoys the company of Tara. I would venture so far as to say that with enough time, you'll grow to LOVE Frenchie, and learn to appreciate all of her little quirks and qualities.

I have 3 cats...two males, and one female. I added Ripley (the female...she was a kitten) to my household when my older male turned a year old...he HATED her for like three months!!! But, after a while, they started to sleep together, and even play with each other. Now, Fergus is 5, and Ripley is about to turn 4, and they are the best of friends. Now, last year, I added the other male, Captain Steuben. He was just 8 weeks old. Both Fergus and Ripley despised him. And we all gave Steuben time...now that he's turned a year old this month, Fergus, Ripley, and Steuben are living in harmony, and all seem to be friends.

Time is the key.
 
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deelovely79

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Thanks for the advice Wookie. I've definitely started to notice with Frenchie that she needs to feel secure and then she can deal with Tara. The Princess is definitely coming along. Yesterday I moved her litterbox into the kitchen (I've notice that she only used her litter box when she was locked in a room by herself) behind the door so it's kinda like a private bathroom. And I actually saw her use the litter (poor baby has no depth perception so she paws several inches above the litter). We were all getting along good, The Princess had stopped hissing at Tara and even let Tara give her a nose snuggle. The Princess tried to play with Da Bird with me and Tara, Tara waited each time I gave Frenchie her turn but poor baby doesn't quite understand how to play with Da Bird yet so she just looked. Things were great until I messed up giving both girls a snack of cheese, Tara is so crazy about food that even though she'd eaten a cup of dry food and 3oz pouch of wet she smacked Frenchie in the face (really hard too) over the cheese!!! So now the hissing has started back again, so I let the Princess out to roam the apartment and kept Tara in the room so that Princess Frenchie can feel more at ease.
 
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