I seriously regret the day I ever said "yes"....

I do remember that, it was a Maine Coon and they rehomed him to an only pet home where he was happy as a clam

I sincerely hope you can find that perfect, or even almost perfect home for Ophelia, Natalie

Originally Posted by kluchetta

There was just a story on here, and I'm not sure but I think it was Snowberry & Sneezeweed's mom or dad, and they had a Maine Coon cat that they were stressing over whether it was happy with them. It was only happy in the morning in the bathroom...Anybody remember? And they rehomed it alone, and were sure they did the wrong thing, and they got a call RIGHT away from the lady saying it was the sweetest purriest cat she ever had? Well, anyway - a change of scenery helped there...

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I'm hoping that is what happens with Ophelia, although it'll likely be months before I get anyone interested in her. But, people can surprise me sometimes. Anyone interested in her I will likely have go through the HS(once I get her on Petfinder)....fill out an app & maybe just have the adoption fee go to them.

Just wanted to say I know how you feel about your cat. I love my Foofy and had her before the other cats, but she seems to hate EVERYONE and I'm starting to consider getting rid of her.

Originally Posted by white cat lover

I'm hoping that is what happens with Ophelia, although it'll likely be months before I get anyone interested in her. But, people can surprise me sometimes. Anyone interested in her I will likely have go through the HS(once I get her on Petfinder)....fill out an app & maybe just have the adoption fee go to them.

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There are a lot of people with a weakness for white cats, so you might be surprised.

Originally Posted by jcat

There are a lot of people with a weakness for white cats, so you might be surprised.

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I'm hoping another person like me will come along & see her. Ophelia is gorgeous, I'm going to have a hard time getting several good pics of her. I've been working on good pics tonight already.

I didn't read all of the other responses but:

I think you must be fair to Lily and let Ophelia go. Keeping her at all costs is going to cost Lily her life--it's already cost her her happiness.

Maybe saying goodnight one last time is the only way or let her go to a less than perfect, but not bad home.

I hope you can find some peace.

I know that you have worked so hard on this. I'm sending vibes that you quickly find a great home for Ophelia and everyone is happy again.

Oh God! This is a million times harder than I ever imagined it would be. I got an Rx from the vet today. It's Buspar. I was at the shelter & ran to the vet to get it, I didn't ask any questions & I should have. Anyways, I should see an improvement in 1 week. I've got 3 weeks worth. After that, the vet tech says, we can try or else find something else.

I made a list of pros & cons to re-homing Ophelia. I came up with more cons than pros. I just keep thinking:
What if I find a drug that allows me to re-introduce Ophelia & Lily so they get along?
What if I can't find her a home?
I live at home with my parents in a year(or more...depends on class schedule) I am moving out....what if she can hold on that long & I'll take Dory & Ophelia only?
What if I can get my friend to take Dory & Ophelia until I move out?
What if....
What if....
What if....

I just feel like I haven't explored all my options. I've been feeling so guilty about thinking about re-homing her. I feel like she's dead every time I think about finding her a new home. What if I never get to see her again? What if the people that take her aren't ready to handle her?

Sorry...I just had to talk to someone. I don't know if I am ready to give up yet, but then I wonder about Lily. I need to think more & do what I feel is right, deep down. My heart says one thing, but my head says another. Which do I listen to?

hello, I feel bad for you over this situation, I know you are probably torturing yourself over it. only you know what you can handle and what your other pets can handle. sometimes euthanasia is the only answer, and if it is you shouldn't beat yourself up. remind yourself that YOU TRIED and don't let anybody put a guilt trip on you, because they haven't lived the situation. YOU HAVE.

let me relate a couple of true situations to you. the first, my own experience. I had two cats for 10 years, brought in a 2 yr. old rescue, all neutered. the rescue and my old male ganged up on my old female until she ran away from home. I haven't seen her since July! If I had stepped in and rehomed the new rescue, I would still have my old girl...

the second situation, some friends had a cat a birman, for three years or so, bought a puppy for their boys, and the cat didn't like it. took to hiding all the time. they thought the cat would come around...18 months later, the cat had to be rehomed and put on anti anxiety medication.

some animals just will not get along no matter how badly we want them too.
there are some things we can't control. just something to keep in mind.

Natalie, this situation has gone on for about a year, so taking a bit longer to make a decision isn't going to hurt, as long as you can keep Ophelia away from Lily as much as possible.
Try the drug(s); maybe they'll be the solution you need. I didn't realize you had a friend who might be able to take Ophelia and Dory for a while. That might be ideal, if you're planning on getting your own place in the near future.

It's not like you've only had her a few weeks or months - its been over a year. The cats will never get along. Why medicate them? If you start that, you might have to do it her entire life? Is it worth it?

IMO you should find her another home. Maybe your friend is willing to take her permanently. Even if you move out to a new place, you probably will have the same problems as you do now. I can't see the cats getting along; no matter what you try.

You HAVE tried your best. Please stop feeling so darn guilty. You should concentrate on rehoming her as soon as you can. Wouldn't you like BOTH cats to be happy again?

My one rex decided after several years she didn't like ANY of the cats any more (especially the oldest female). It got to the point where the 2 of them could not be in the same room without fighting. She was spayed and placed in an only cat home where she reigned as queen of the house. So it worked out best for everyone.

Have you considered rehoming both Dory and Ophelia to a new home? that way the owners would have 2 cats that are sure to get along. Most apartment complexes won't let you have more than 2 dogs/cats anyway. Also you would know that Ophelia will get along with Dory and won't feel lonely and have a constant factor in the whole deal.

Its just a suggestion...I know it must be hard to have to rehome a loved pet.

This is so hard. I keep trying to put myself in your situation and I just don't know what I would do. I hope the medication works and you find that everyone can live peacefully together. Or I hope that some solution presents itself soon so that everything can be sorted out. Either way, I'll be thinking of you and hoping that things turn out well.

What do your parents say about all of this? They live with the kitties too and know what goes on between them on a daily basis. Do they have any good advice to give? Or any good solutions to suggest?

Originally Posted by Pekoe & Nigel

What do your parents say about all of this? They live with the kitties too and know what goes on between them on a daily basis. Do they have any good advice to give? Or any good solutions to suggest?

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Their suggestion is to get her completely declawed. Like that will solve the problems. If I move out, I will be taking Dory & Ophelia only, that has been the plan. Ophelia is bonded to me, & not really anyone else in the house. And I will likely move 3 miles away into town. So, she would be in her ideal home, just her & another male cat. I'm going to try talking to some friends to see if anyone can take both of them until I move out. I don't know that I can give up yet. Maybe if Buspar doesn't work.... But if there's any chance that they can learn to tolerate one another, then I am going to take it. Wouldn't you do anything to keep a beloved pet? For now, we are on extreme watch anytime we open the door between the basement/upstairs, so Ophelia & Lily haven't even caught a glimpse of each other. Lily has calmed a lot at least. I haven't found any other pee marks, but I have let her go into the cat free guest room to hang out where she feels completely safe.

Ok so Lily will stay with your parents when you move and you will take the other 2 - I think that will work (I'm assuming that the 2 do get along - its just that Ophelia and Lily don't)....am I correct?

I hope your friend can babysit the 2 cats till you move and everything works out. I thought you were taking Lily.

Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45

Ok so Lily will stay with your parents when you move and you will take the other 2 - I think that will work (I'm assuming that the 2 do get along - its just that Ophelia and Lily don't)....am I correct?

I hope your friend can babysit the 2 cats till you move and everything works out. I thought you were taking Lily.

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Oh no! Sorry...I should've specified. Twitch & Lily would stay here with my parents. They sleep together & are the best of friends. Ophelia & Dory would move with me. Where Damita goes depends. She could easily move with me as Ophelia & Dory love her.

Oh that's even better! Throughout the posts I was under the assumption that your current situation was permanent. So all you're needing is a temporary situation until you're ready to make your move? I would think that rehoming is definitely extreme then. I hope your plan with your friend works out

Originally Posted by tekgrl

Oh that's even better! Throughout the posts I was under the assumption that your current situation was permanent. So all you're needing is a temporary situation until you're ready to make your move? I would think that rehoming is definitely extreme then. I hope your plan with your friend works out

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I may not move out in a year, it may be longer. I just didn't(& really still don't) know that I can keep them seperated all the time, esp. with Ophelia being as aggressive as she has been lately. It's spring, she desperately wants outside. She's just flown "off the handle" a lot more lately since it's been warming up. Hopefully, I can find a temporary place for her to live if the Buspar doesn't work.

Originally Posted by white cat lover

I may not move out in a year, it may be longer. I just didn't(& really still don't) know that I can keep them seperated all the time, esp. with Ophelia being as aggressive as she has been lately. It's spring, she desperately wants outside. She's just flown "off the handle" a lot more lately since it's been warming up. Hopefully, I can find a temporary place for her to live if the Buspar doesn't work.

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You're looking at enclosures for her, right? That might cut down on her aggression, along with the Buspar. It doesn't have to be a "warm weather only" solution, either. We have our back balcony enclosed (with cat net) for Jamie, and give him access year round. You'll probably have to get a cat flap put in a window, though.