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I'am Fed Up!!

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 
I'am so confused and is "this close" to calling it quits!
I had Zion for about 2 months now (he is about 3 months) and he is driving me INSANE!! (FYI: this is my first pet. ever)
I noticed an attitude change within the past 2 weeks and it worries me...
It's like he has 2 differnt personalities. Is this how cats are??

Zion A- he's afriad of me. dosen't want me to touch him, at all. bites my hands whenever i try. attacks my feet when i'm walking around. stares at me from afar and prepares to pounce. runs away from me whenever i want to pick him up...
Zion B- only when he's sleepy. he will cuddle with me all night and morning.

I'am so confused! and scared of him! I have dozens of scars all over my hands and legs from him attacking me.

Is there anything I could do to change his perception of me??
If he continues this way within the next month, HE'S GOING TO THE HUMAN SOCIETY!!
post #2 of 19
I'm sorry you are feeling like this, but it is hard work having your first cat. First of all, relax - he is being a kitten and any stress on your part will communicate itself to him so he is confused by your mixed signalling. When he stares at you do not stare back - he will interpret direct stares as threats. If you catch yourself doing it, blink a few times, slowly - that means 'I like you and I'm no threat'. Do not let him bite or play with your bare hands - it is bad traiining. Use a wand toy to wear him out and get him used to playing with you without hurting. If necessary, if he gets too much, put him in a room by himself for half an hour to calm him down. This is not a punishment and he will not see it like that, just a bit of timeout to relax. Never hit him or spray him (not that you would anyway). But he is very small, very excited at his new world, and needs lots of stimulation. Your job is to give it to him without either of you getting hurt or learning to fear the other. It is worth it, believe me, good luck.
post #3 of 19
How long have you had your kitten? From what I remember my babies where both pretty rambunctious, that is what being a child is about! Cats in general are independent creatures...I see my two when they want food, a good scratching, to go outside or to share the bed and my pillows as we sleep.... otherwise they are to themselves. If your baby is getting ruff get up and walk away letting them know this isn't acceptable..or replace your hand with a toy...they love catnip toys or feather chasers...Eventually they will grow out of that stage. You made a commitment to this animal by getting it please try to keep it.. Hang in there
post #4 of 19
He sounds like a normal kitten! Jenny has given you excellent advice
post #5 of 19
I agree with the advice Jenny has given you - its a day by day thing with a new cat.

I have just aquired cat No.4 (dumped in my garden) and he´s only 4mths old and he´s a rascal, just the same as you've described. This is him in my signature - Teddy.

When he's all crazy and wont calm down - I put him in his room - this is the room we put him in when he 1st arrived - so its not strange to him and its safe, warm and has all the necessary things he needs - water, cat lit, an old t-shirt and some toys. I´ve done this every day and now he knows that he has to have some quiet time Is this something you could try ?

Like Jenny says, he will grow out of it, it just seems like its never ending at the moment

Keep us posted and I am sure it will all work out

p.s Teddy is in his room now
post #6 of 19
He's 3 months old - compare that to a 3 mo. old human, and you've got quite a pet, one who goes to the bathroom properly, who does his own exploration of the world, who doesn't cry nonstop for attention and who's been walking a long time. He has zero concept of what we think of as right and wrong, however (and what baby has that?), and only knows hunger, fright, the joy of pouncing (hunting instincts are hard-wired), and that every single thing around him is a potential game or meal, and a lot of it reacts funny when he tests it out (by biting, one of the very few ways he has to communicate). He has no mother or even sibs to learn from, just a very large and sometimes scary species (you/us) who yells at him (pointless now!), gives him food a few times a day and wiggles those very tempting toys at him a lot, then shrieks when he goes to explore them. He has zero idea that by biting your hands it hurts you, or that it could somehow change his whole future, so you have to be the one not to tempt him, but to have lots of patience til he grows up and even begins to have a clue about what's acceptable and what's not. If you can't wait him out kindly and consistently, maybe you should consider getting a puppy instead, but don't give him to the humane society - there are probably loads of people who'd be happy to take care of him if you just put a notice up at your vet's office, or in the local paper, etc. He has a right to life, and shouldn't be punished because you can't deal with kittenhood.
post #7 of 19
Sounds to me like he's being a normal kitten (maybe a bored kitten). Try getting a "kitten mitten" or some wand toys for him to attack.

When he bites/scratches you, let him know it hurts with a loud "ow" and put him down, or put him in another room. Soon enough he'll make the connection that hands are not toys (or at least not fun toys since you only get to play once and meowmy puts you out).

Get him some more toys , especially things he can "hunt" like little balls and soft, light stuffed things (can't have too many with a baby) my little guy loves this thing I bought with a ping-pong ball in a track, he can follow that ball around the track all day.

Kittens are a lot of work, they are constantly in "trouble" getting into things, chewing on things...it will pass.
post #8 of 19
Kittens are exhausting, I find between 3-5 months is the 'worst' bit (or best, depending upon whether you relish having your life and home turned upside down!)

Play with him a lot to tire him out and keep him from getting bored, but don't use toys where he can get near your hands. If you're out any time at work or college, that is when he is most likely sleeping and recharging his batteries ready to play when you get home. If that's the case and he's been waiting bored at home by himself for you, you have to indulge his kitten whims and play with him a lot while you are around.

It will pass, he will grow up and calm down and sleep more and be less exciteable, and will learn that hands and feet are not toys to be pounced on. Be patient
post #9 of 19
I adopted a 1 yr. old female who had been abandoned with her kitten, imagine that, putting them both in a box and just leaving them. Anyway I fostered the mom and kept her because I knew her chances of being adopted were slim. She was a sweetie but soon became agressive toward me when I came home from work. I figured out that she was bored being home all day by herself. I solved this problem by getting her a kitten, a feral about 5 months old. This was in 9/06. They bonded after a few hisses, etc. Sweetie got a kitten to love and the baby got a mom cat. Sweeties agressive behavior stopped and they both had their needs satisfied. I'm not suggesting that you get another kitten, but at that age they need stimulation and lots of play.
post #10 of 19
I got my first kitten almost four years ago and all this is normal. What really settled him down and made for a happier kitty who wasn't bored was a second kitten.
post #11 of 19
As everyone else has said this is perfectly normal. My kitten has time outs in her crate or bathroom. There's an excellent thread at top of Behavior page :-
'Ouch!!! How to stop cat aggression toward people.' I wish I had found it when I first got Blossom.
post #12 of 19
Well I think everyone pretty much covered it. Sending him to humane society really isn't the answer. Your kitty needs love and time to adjust. The odds are good he'll eventually come around but you need to give it time. It takes patience and believe me just like a child, your kitten will test your patience in every way.

Good luck and I do hope you will re consider sending him back.

post #13 of 19
Not sure where you initially got him but from your posts, sounds like he was ONLY a month old when you got him. Far too soon to be separated from mom and siblings. At 3 months old they are in that playing/wrestling stage that should have been done with siblings. Unfortunately YOU are your kitten's sibling!

First, start trimming nails at least once or twice a week - you will not get so many scratches.

Second, sounds like he needs some socialization with people. The crutical time of kitten socialization with other cats, dogs, people is between about one-three months old. That's where they learn about other species and how to behave.

Because you got him so young, he may or may not ever really adjust. I do hope you will give him a longer chance instead of just giving up. In the future, next time you adopt a cat/kitten; be sure they are properly socialized and you do not take them from mom/siblings till a minimum of 10-12 weeks old.
post #14 of 19
do you have toys for "zion A" to play with? e.g., a mouse on a string? yes, he wants to attack something, and if you're the only moving thing around, well then. it's very normal cat behavior, you just need to channel it.
post #15 of 19
I agree with Goldenkitty. It sounds like he may have trouble adjusting. He probably misses his mom and brothers and sisters. Zion b has proved that he likes you, otherwise he would be Zion A all the time. And Maybe Zion A is not being mean, he just wants to play. Follow the other suggestions listes so far. he needs attention, and he will let you know when he wants it. he needs to see you as his playmate and his caretaker because you are the only one there to give him that attention.
post #16 of 19
Yes, Zion sounds like a perfectly normal kitten. His job at this age is to learn how to hunt and fight -- and since he has no siblings, you're his only practice target. It has nothing to do with his "perception" of you -- you're just the only thing around that moves!

As others have said, it takes patience and consistency to work through this. The moment he attacks your hands, you have to say NO in a very firm tone, then walk away and ignore him for a few minutes. He'll learn that he loses your attention if he claws or bites you... but it will probably take awhile.

Denice is absolutely right about a second kitten -- that's really what Zion needs, and it would largely solve the problem. But if you can seriously think of giving Zion to the humane society, I surely don't think you should adopt another kitten.

You've given Zion such a wonderful name! If you can also give him an unshakable commitment to work through these problems and raise him to adulthood, you will have a dear companion for many years... but if you don't feel you can do that, please don't take him to the humane society. Seek out a "no-kill" shelter or rescue society, where you can be sure Zion won't be euthanized.

I hope you'll try the suggestions everyone has given you... and try to be patient. Kittens go through phases just like children, and they do mellow as they grow up. Hang in there if you can! It's well worth it.
post #17 of 19
Thread Starter 
THANK YOU everyone for your advice!
I guess I didn't know what to expect from a kitten, being it is my first...
All what I read on how to raise a kitten does not really prepare you for the REAL thing!
I actually DO spray ZION with a water bottle when he bites me. I read that it is suppose to train them out of aggresive behavior. So far, it hasn't been working so I stopped...
I can't wait for him to get out of this stage and just be mellow!!
post #18 of 19
Believe me, he will mature, and you will see a decrease in not only his activity levels, but also in his drive. Speaking of drive, with an aggressive boy, whether by nature or nurture, early neutering is very important. I am sorry if I have skipped over the history of this kitten, but if he is not already neutered, start discussing this with your vet right now. It will prevent the male hormones from kicking in at all and he will be a sweet, lovable kitten (unless he is in play mode) afterwards. Most vets will neuter a boy as soon as the testicles are fully descended and they weight a specific amount. Check in with yours to see what his requirements are. If he isn't comfortable with early neuter, a lot of the shelters or rescues will hold spay/neuter clinics around ... check to see if you can qualify to use their services. It may even cost less than the vet.
post #19 of 19
Well it sounds like you got the nut in a shell! Regardless how old he was when you got him, you are "mom" now, this is something you need to think about when he starts acting crazy, testing out his boundaries, and simply needs attention. For me, scratches come with the package. The trick is to be firm, not show any fear, but it is ok to let him know when he hurts you! Vocal commands and responses go a long way, and physical interaction is very important to. He probably senses the fact that you may be a bit intimidated by him, so hes runnnig with it. Kittens need a lot of play time, get some toys, see what he responds to the best and set a couple of playtimes per day so he has something to look forward to and also doesn't look else where to start trouble. Try to pet him and make as much physical contact whenever you can, feeding, playing, when he is sleeping........hold him if you need to for him to be still for a while.
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