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sad kitty

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
I am new to forums but my brother suggested I do this. My grandmother past away one week ago today. She willed her 11-year old cat, Prissy to me. Prissy has only been around one person - my grandmother. It took us three days to retrieve her from underneath the bed in my grandmothers home. Prissy had terrible matted furr balls covering her body. We took her to the vet to get groomed and updated on her vaccinations. The vet suggested that we isolate her in a room for a few days until she is ready to come out. I made a nice pallet in our spare bath room for her with food, water and a litter box (in a seperate room of course). Prissy has hidden in the blankets and will not come out. When we try to pet her, she hisses and growels. She has not eaten or drank anything all week. However, she HAS gone to the bath room but not in the litter box. It smells terrible.

I feel terrible that she is greiving so much and wasn't sure if anyone has experienced anything like this before. I too have a 14 year old kitty so I know that will be another transition in itself. Please help and offer any suggestions. It is breaking my heart.
post #2 of 17
Hello and welcome to TCS!

I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. This has caused a big change for both you and Prissy!

You are right that she is having to adjust to her new home and it certainly is very difficult for her. It's wonderful that you've set her up in a safe room with all the amenities! Now she just needs to get comfortable with you and her new home.

I would suggest quietly going into her room and speaking or reading softly so that she can get used to your voice. Remember to let her come to you and not to force her out of her safe blankets. Are you able to get any of Prissy's things from your grandmother's house? Often she will be comforted by the smells of her old home.

You may want to look into getting a Feliway diffuser which expels cat pheromones into the air and helps cats to be calm. It's worked well at my house for introducing our two cats!

I'm sure things will improve with time. Just take it slow and give her all the love she needs. Poor thing!
post #3 of 17
Thread Starter 
Thank you so much for the advice. I did bring over some of my grandmothers clothing (she had a distinct grandma smell) but I think I may try the Feliway diffuser.

It is hard for me to grieve with the constant reminder in Prissy. I just want to make her happy. I want us to mourn together. Thanks again for the kind words and advice. I appreciate it more than you know
post #4 of 17
The information on Feliway diffusers can be found here.

I would suggest checking eBay (if you are familiar with its use) for a good deal on a diffuser and some refills. The refills last for 4 weeks. It should also help with introducing your cats, but I'd be concerned about getting Prissy comfortable before jumping into that!

Keep us updated!
post #5 of 17
I don't really have anything to add to the advice you've already been given.
I just wanted to welcome you to TCS and tell you how sorry I am about your Grandmother.
post #6 of 17
You are going thru exactly what I went thru with Cuddles. But she was given up after 12 years because her owners (who raised her as a bottle baby) didn't want to bother with her when they moved. She only lived in the one house with the one lady and man for her whole life. I couldn't touch her for three months. I still cannot do a lot without her swatting, growling, hissing, and biting. I pretty much just let her be. I talk to her, play music, but don't address her directly, don't try to touch her, don't go toward her when she is looking and if you have to then keep your head down and blink at her.

Try the Feliway, plug in and/or spray. And good luck! I don't know what to tell you about the litterbox, is she in a room where she isn't disturbed too much? If you have a spare room that isn't used too often that would be good. Play soft music to sooth her.
post #7 of 17
What a love you are for taking in your grandmother's companion! You've been given some excellent advice. The only thing I would add is to get some blankets, sheets, or towels from your grandmothers and put them where the kitty is sleeping. Also, if you can get her bowls and such that might help as well. You might also want to play some classical music very softly for her.

Give her time and go in every little while and sit with her and read aloud to her. Remember, she's not just facing a new home, she's also grieving the loss of her companion, your grandmother.

Stephanie
post #8 of 17
One other thing that just occured to me is that if her litterbox is by her food she will choose to poop/pee somewhere else.

I can't tell from your description if it's in another room or not so I thought I'd throw that in.
post #9 of 17
I am sorry to hear about your Grandma but you are doing a wonderful thing by taking in her cat.

I don't have anything too much more to add, but I've found (in taking in my Grandma's cat) that classical music and just talking to her lots really helps. And as others have said just let her do everything herself first, try not to rush her out of her hiding place.

I expect she will come round soon, best of luck.
post #10 of 17
You have been given some wonderful advice and I really can't think of anything that hasn't been said.

Just be patient with her and let her know that you love her, talk to her and just let her get adjusted first. I know she will come around, she just has to get used to everything.

I am sending you and your new kitty hugs and prayers from Mississippi.

post #11 of 17
I forgot to add to please keep us posted on how she is doing.
post #12 of 17
Another good source of the Feliway Comfort Zone diffuser and refills is valleyvet.com -- I live in Texas, too, and I got free delivery in two days, at less than half the price we pay in stores around here.

You might also try Rescue Remedy, a floral essence oil made by Bach, which you can buy in health food stores. It can be put in the kitty's water or food, and it really does seem to help calm many cats.

The advice you've gotten from everyone above is just excellent -- especially about just sitting in her room and quietly reading or talking to her, maybe even singing her songs. If you never, never try to touch or catch her, but just keep her company as often as you can, she'll come to trust you in time.

Also... when you meet her eyes, remember to blink slowly a time or two. She'll understand that as a signal that you're not a threat to her.

I'm so sorry about your grandma... but what an honor, that she entrusted her beloved cat to you! She must have loved you very much indeed.
post #13 of 17
I hope that this finds Prissy doing better today, I think she just needs time, and your grandmother wouldn't have wanted you to have her if she didn't think that you would be a good mother to her. Just do what others have told you to do. Go in her room and call her name and just talk to her, just you and her.

I am sorry about your grandmother too, I don't think I told you that.

I am still sending you and Prissy some hugs and prayers from Mississippi.

post #14 of 17
Thread Starter 
Thank you all for your support. I took your advice and bought the Feliway diffuser and plugged it in right away and guess what? The next morning Prissy had poddied in her litter box!!! I didn't realize I would be so excited. She still hasn't eaten or even drank that much.

I talked to her last night and left some music playing for her today. I just wish she wasn't so sad. She is a continuous reminder of my grandmother and all I want her to be is happy.

Thanks again for all of your kind words. I know Prissy, Pookie (my 14 year old kitty) and myself will get through this.
post #15 of 17
That's wonderful! A very good sign. Just take it slow and I'm sure Prissy will come to love you just as she loved your grandma.
post #16 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by CKPsmiles View Post
Thank you all for your support. I took your advice and bought the Feliway diffuser and plugged it in right away and guess what? The next morning Prissy had poddied in her litter box!!! I didn't realize I would be so excited. She still hasn't eaten or even drank that much.

I talked to her last night and left some music playing for her today. I just wish she wasn't so sad. She is a continuous reminder of my grandmother and all I want her to be is happy.

Thanks again for all of your kind words. I know Prissy, Pookie (my 14 year old kitty) and myself will get through this.
I am glad that Prissy seems to be doing better, just keep doing what you are doing. It is gonna just take a little time, she has to get used to you too. She is just used to it being her and your grandma, now she has to get used to you and a new cat.

Please keep us updated on how she is doing.
post #17 of 17
Thread Starter 
I haven't logged on in awhile as things haven't been too great.

Prissy became very sick due to her severe depression. She was diagnosed with severe liver damage in the result of her anorexia. She had lost half of her body weight within six weeks. After many, many trips to the vet, injecting an IV into her three times a day and administering a feeding tube for four days, Prissy passed away Mother's Day weekend. I know she is in a better place now but I was trying so hard to hold onto what was left of my grandmother. I guess her passing proves that there is LIFE after death. I prayed to Mimi the night before that if she needed Prissy with her, that I would understand (with time, of course)

I am certain those of you with animals can imagine the cost of Prissy's care. I only had her in my life for seven short weeks which felt like a lifetime to me.

Thanks to all of you for lending not only your ears, but your hearts too.
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