Scared?

Lately, Foofy has been acting very scared. When she comes out and I go to pet her or touch her at all, she cowers down. Even when she gets on my lap and I pet her, she seems a bit different. When she settles into being petted, she seems a bit more loving and sprawls out on me quicker than she used to. She seems to drift into a doze, too, which she normally doesn't fall asleep on me.

Is my cat using me to feel safe from the other cats? I know she gets stressed from 1337 (she hisses at him whereas when Roarie is around she's a little more tolerant) and she sheds a lot more when he's trying to play with her.

She just seems different lately and I wasn't sure why...

1337? That is an interesting name

First off has anything else changed? Is she still eating/drinking/using the litterbox like normal? Perhaps one of the other cats spooked her when you were not around? You want to rule out anything medical first so if she is not acting herself as far as eating and drinking/etc then you may want to have the vet check her out.

You just got two new kittens, didn't you?

Generally the older cat can feel a little ousted with the new arrivals. Plus their energy levels will be much higher than hers! She's probably looking for some comfort from you and misses you.

Give her as much attention as you can, and hopefully she will calm down in the next few months as the kittens mature.

Also, you might want to look into getting a Feliway diffuser that expels cat calming pheromones into your house and can make the cats a lot calmer and happier!

The one "kitten," Roarie, is not new. She's about 8 months old and Foofy is not AS worried about her. 1337 we've had a month and a half now and he bothers the heck out of Foofy.

Foofy eats and drinks and uses the litter box, but sometimes is a bit too scared to come out and do so. It's like she's afraid that 1337 will get her if she does or something, so she likes to do it more when I'm around to keep an eye out for her. I give her soft canned food occasionally now (the other cats get it, too) and make sure the others don't steal it in hopes she gets a little more high-calorie food into her since she doesn't like to come out as much.

I like that she's more lovey-dovey when I hold her now, but she's getting more scared of my boyfriend again, too, when she was at the point she loved him almost as much as me.

Maybe she just doesn't like males?

Since the newest kitten is your boyfriend's cat, I'll bet that they smell pretty similar, which will explain Foofy's sudden dislike of the boyfriend.

And kittens definitely stress out older cats as they have so much more energy! I'd suggest trying to distract the kittens when they are bugging Foofy. For my cats, we throw a ball in front of the little one to keep her from pouncing on the older one.

You may also want to try to set up a safe place for Foofy with her own litter box in there. I've heard of people using a babygate for a room that the little ones can't jump over.

Originally Posted by Malakaiii

Since the newest kitten is your boyfriend's cat, I'll bet that they smell pretty similar, which will explain Foofy's sudden dislike of the boyfriend.

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Brilliant reasoning! I just have to applaud your powers of deduction...

That might explain why our cats love my brother, even though he thoroughly dislikes them -- because they adore his little boy, and of course, they smell alike...

[In my brother's defense... he's a singer, and if he spends much time around the cats, it affects his voice... it's not that he's an Evil Cat-Hater. ]

I'm trying to think more like a cat lately.

We've just got our second cat. I don't know how you multi-cat people DO it! They are all such individuals, and it is impossible to find a "quick fix". People think that cats are 'easy' pets, but to live peacefully with one and for you both to be happy is no easy task! Happily, for all the love you put in, the cat pays it back ten fold.

Is there anything I can do to make them all get along, though? Our apartment isn't THAT big and we can't deal with Foofy leaving "messes" every time she gets mad at my boyfriend or his cat/kitten. Unforunately if we can't make it work we may have to consider rehoming her... And I'd hate to do that since she is a nice cat when she's not worrying about everyone else. I do love that moody li'l thing. LOL.

So more tips/advice on them getting along would be good. I don't think they have to like each other, but they should tolerate each other. I mean, if Foofy's eating and another cat comes near, she shouldn't be running off. I know that's "just how she is," but I do think there has to be a way to change that a bit...

"You may also want to try to set up a safe place for Foofy with her own litter box in there. I've heard of people using a babygate for a room that the little ones can't jump over."

The kittens aren't small enough that they couldn't jump over a baby gate. (I just remembered I forgot to comment about this!) One is about 5 months old and the other is about 8 months old. They're well on their way to cat-hood and are good jumpers, LOL. Also, we don't really have a lot of space in the apartment for her to have "her own space." This causes her to hide on top of the fridge, the microwave, and way up on the cabinets (counter->fridge->cabinets is how she makes the jump). Sometimes we let her stay up there to cool off a little bit, but when we get her down (since we don't want messes way up high) she throws yet another fit.

I really hate considering getting rid of Foofy, but since she seems so unhappy... Something has to be done. :-(

I'm sorry if it sounds harsh, but she's obviously upset and you as the human are responsible to find a solution for her...

Her messes will stop if she has a safe place. I wouldn't see any problem with my cat hanging out on the top of the fridge! Why not make a little nest up there for her and she can use it as a retreat?

Just imagine if someone suddenly stuck you with 2 roomates you barely knew, who were way younger than you, made a lot of noise and mess, and you didn't know them very well! You'd probably be pretty upset, and want a quiet, safe place of your own away from those people... even if it's just for a little while!

Does she have her own litter box that she can use without being interrupted by the kittens? That may help explain her bathroom problems.

There's a cover on the litterbox... So they all share, but that way she can't be pestered.

I wouldn't mind her on the fridge if it weren't for her sometimes leaving "messes" up there. That's why we'd rather she not.

We're thinking of giving her to a friend, though...

You should have at least one litter box per cat. The box will smell like the other cat and I can't blame her for not wanting to use it because of that reason. With an extra box or two, she will have an option... and you won't have to worry about cleaning up her messes!

It might sound weird, but maybe get a small litter box and put it on top of the fridge? You'd be able to access it with a chair, and she'd feel safe going up there.

My bet is that something as simple as this will put you on the road to a happier life with your cats!