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Well, it made the local paper-John and Amber, article about fake internet deaths - Page 3

post #61 of 72
Okay, I know that this is a dumb and possibly inapporpriate post, but does anyone else think that the goat posts were a wierd idea on their/his/her part?

All I'm getting at is he chose some strange things to include in posts. I mean, would you feel like lying and say you had goats?! Or maybe this was true.

No offense to goats.

....

Do you ever get the feeling after you've posted something about this subject, that perhaps John/Amber is watching as a guest? That's part of what I meant about "ghosts" in my thread last night.
post #62 of 72
I wasn't surprised at all reading the article. I do think that some people would be surprised at some of the lengths people will go to in an attempt to commit fraud. Email lottery and "inheritance" scams are two of the most obvious and frequent but there are also those who will wait patiently and bait people along by preying on their emotions in an effort to defraud someone.

This "John" could very well be in the latter category which, at least to me, would explain why he disappeared after seeing the thread about it being a hoax.
post #63 of 72
I'm glad this topic is reopened because I had computer trouble and wasn't back online until the other thread was locked.

The only person(s) who know for sure what happened is John and Amber. Whether they are the same person or different people, only they know.

As for phoning around to morgues and hospitals to find out information, that's not reliable. For one thing whose to say they gave you the right names? Another, there are laws that prevent morgues and hospitals from giving out such information and those that breach that law can lose their job, get severely fined and go to jail.

I'm not discounting those who made attempts at trying to find out the truth. However, it's all speculation based on their inability to verify for certaintly and I for one am not about to call someone a liar because a hosptial and / or morgue was doing their job by not releasing information to a complete stranger.

Besides, I would feel pretty crappy if I did discount what John said, only to find out that everything he said was completely true and that his girl friend Amber had died. I think all of you would.

If he lied, so what? That's between him and his conscience and whatever the reason for doing it will never be known.

I for one am going with what my heart tells me and there was an Amber posting on these forums for 5 months and she was very real to me. She is no longer posting and it was posted that she had died, and I will mourn for her. That's just how I am.

Don't be a follower. Decide for yourself.
post #64 of 72
i am new to the cat site,i just read the john and amber article in the paper,so i thought i would check out this site kay
post #65 of 72
welcome to the kitty site, I hope you enjoy your stay.
post #66 of 72
Good article.

Unfortunately I've had a few encounters with this sort of thing before so am not terribly surprised. I have no doubt in my own mind that all or most of John and Amber's story is false. As to why people do things like that - I dont know but I do think it's often attention seeking behaviour from people whose lives (in their own eyes at least) are pretty dull. It seems that in these celebrity obsessed times hardly a day goes by without it being reported that some celeb has gone into rehab, another has had an affair etc. As a result a lot of people crave drama and excitement in their own lives.

I do wonder whether some of these people realise how much they hurt and upset people. The girl mentioned in the article seemed to realise that what she'd done was wrong, but one person on a site I used to frequent faked her own death then came back later thinking it was a huge joke and not understanding why anyone was mad at her.
post #67 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
As for phoning around to morgues and hospitals to find out information, that's not reliable. For one thing whose to say they gave you the right names? Another, there are laws that prevent morgues and hospitals from giving out such information and those that breach that law can lose their job, get severely fined and go to jail.

I'm not discounting those who made attempts at trying to find out the truth. However, it's all speculation based on their inability to verify for certaintly and I for one am not about to call someone a liar because a hosptial and / or morgue was doing their job by not releasing information to a complete stranger..
Anne and the mods were very careful. That was not the only information they were going on. There were a lot of inconsistencies, and a lot of things that pointed to it being a hoax. But, if you will notice, Anne, never said the story was not true, just that it could not be verified in any way, and that "John" himself could not provide any information to verify it...not a death notice in a paper, details about a funeral...nothing. Never did she call him a liar, though. The only reason she posted publicly about it was because there was talk of members donating money to help "John". It was for the protection of the members, and not to embarass "them" publicly was it investigated and brought to light.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
Besides, I would feel pretty crappy if I did discount what John said, only to find out that everything he said was completely true and that his girl friend Amber had died. I think all of you would.

If he lied, so what? That's between him and his conscience and whatever the reason for doing it will never be known.
So what? You might be feeling cavalier about being emotionally manipulated, but there are members on this site who grieved in a very real way, who were preparing gifts, planning to send money to help. There were people who had a relationship with "John and Amber" that went beyond posting...people who spoke with her on the phone...people who spent hours making gifts for her baby. For them to realize that they were most likely lied to horribly was devastating. I personally feel they had every right to be upset.

Quote:
Originally Posted by EricaNicole View Post
wow!
Totally wasnt expecting that!

Its like the move Night Listener with Robin Williams. a women makes up a story to a whole town and RW about having an adopted son who had HIV among many things and was taken from a sexually abuse home as a kid. She also fakes her blindness and a whole mess of other things...it was all for attention.
The Night Listener was based on a true story. That woman duped a lot of people, including the author, Armistead Maupin, who had a six year phone relationship with a child who most likely never existed.

http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=15690
post #68 of 72
I do have to say that I was a bit traumatized by the whole thing, and as a result find myself to be MUCH more cynical and less willing to take people who post in forums at "face" value (post value?)

For example, I am absolutely willing to continue to give vibes to those who I have become friendly with who request them for themselves, or to anyone asking on behalf of a cat in need, but cannot in good conscience rush to support those who are asking for vibes for the brother of a friend of their boss, or similar.

We all have drama in our lives, some much more than others, as my own personal life attests to, but there are limits to what kind of burdens your online acquaintances can put on you in terms of emotional involvement.

I have shared a lot about myself on this site, but there is a great deal about my daily dramas that are not appropriate to be shared with the entire world, therefore I keep them private.

While I rely upon TCS and the members here to help support and continue to educate me about the health and well-being of cats, I do NOT expect the online community to take the place of my RL friends. And I can only get so close to someone online.

I guess all my rambling here boils down to this: I am much more inclined to take EVERY post with a large grain of salt, whereas previous to this whole debacle, I was open, trusting and willing to believe in everyone.

What a silly human I was.
post #69 of 72
I shouldn't admit this but I was part of an "internet death" years ago. The circumstances were way different then what John/Amber did. We didn't do it to get attention, it was done to stop the stalker that was after my friends. Not saying what we did was right, just that it worked.

The article is well written and nobody will ever know the truth or reason as to why (s)he did this. It was handled well and maybe it'll reach other people who are dealing with their "friends" who are pulling the same stunt. I'm with the others who hope (s)he gets the help they need to find out why they have to do something that bad just for the attention they have received.
post #70 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by EricaNicole View Post
Its like the move Night Listener with Robin Williams. a women makes up a story to a whole town and RW about having an adopted son who had HIV among many things and was taken from a sexually abuse home as a kid. She also fakes her blindness and a whole mess of other things...it was all for attention.
I thought the very same thing! I wonder if incidents like this will be on the rise in the wake of that movie coming out.

This whole thing has me floored. I know it's naive to trust everyone you "meet" online, but it feels like such a violation to have something like this (allegedly) happening in our warm little community.
post #71 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
I'm glad this topic is reopened because I had computer trouble and wasn't back online until the other thread was locked.

The only person(s) who know for sure what happened is John and Amber. Whether they are the same person or different people, only they know.

As for phoning around to morgues and hospitals to find out information, that's not reliable. For one thing whose to say they gave you the right names? Another, there are laws that prevent morgues and hospitals from giving out such information and those that breach that law can lose their job, get severely fined and go to jail.

I'm not discounting those who made attempts at trying to find out the truth. However, it's all speculation based on their inability to verify for certaintly and I for one am not about to call someone a liar because a hosptial and / or morgue was doing their job by not releasing information to a complete stranger.

Besides, I would feel pretty crappy if I did discount what John said, only to find out that everything he said was completely true and that his girl friend Amber had died. I think all of you would.

If he lied, so what? That's between him and his conscience and whatever the reason for doing it will never be known.

I for one am going with what my heart tells me and there was an Amber posting on these forums for 5 months and she was very real to me. She is no longer posting and it was posted that she had died, and I will mourn for her. That's just how I am.

Don't be a follower. Decide for yourself.
It was pretty devastating to the people who became involved, got gifts ready and were willing to part with their hard-earned money.

I mentioned in one thread at the time that we should proceed slowly before rushing in and I was "slapped" down - not harshly but the implication was there that I wasn't very sympathetic to John and his loss of Amber.

Maybe I'm just untrusting on the whole about this whole internet thing but I'd rather err on the side of caution. If this had proved to be a real situation, I would gladly have donated money or gifts to help this person out, but I want to see the proof. Unfortunately, we don't know one way or the other what the truth is and probably never will.
post #72 of 72
I have to agree that the whole thing kinda seemed weird to me. I never said anything but it did. I mean she announced to us all very shortly after she joined that she was preggers. Then there were just so many problems and John and the accident and ok this may sound crazy but her sonogram pics didn't seem real. I mean I know they can be very good but they were jsut so crystal clear. Then I googled them and found some strikingly similar pics. I just stayed out of the topics from her and john and called it a day till she died.
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