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Am I wrong for not Letting Go Yet?

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
I have a female Domestic Long hair that will be 19 in about 2 weeks. She was diagnosed with a good sized mass in her belly that they weren't sure if it ws an oversized kidney or an intestinal tumor. Well after months of chronic diahrea (even with the meds, but not as bad) she all of a sudden became constipated (that lasted about a day and a half) I made an appt to take her back to the vet but before we could go, she was able to go in the litter box. We went anyway and they drained her anal glands but the dr. confirmed the mass in her belly was most likely a cancerous tumor as it felt bumpy and varigated. She had also dropped 14 ounces from our last appt (about 3 weeks earlier) leaving her at a whopping 3 lbs 14 oz. She is a small framed cat to begin with. The Dr. basically told me at this point I needed to keep an eye on her quality of life and do what needs to be done once she starts to fail (or by the grace of God, goes on her own) Aside from the diahrea and moving a bit slower, She seems to be holding her own. I have a litter box on each level of the house and she is still using them regularly. Her appetite is still very hearty, she still follows me all around the house and she still likes to crawl into my lap for affection. Am I wrong for waiting this out longer and delaying the inevitable. I just feel like I am not ready to let her go yet. I just want to make sure I am doing the right thing by her. I also worry about how my 7 year old male cat will react once she dos go. Any advice? The whole thing just makes me extremely sad. Thanks for listening.
post #2 of 18
Welcome to TCS and
post #3 of 18
Oh I am so sorry for what you have to go through. I think you will know when the time comes. From what you said she seems okay, for now. Did the vet say if it seemed she was in pain? I know how hard it is to go through that. Just try your best and it will work out. Enjoy the time you have left with her. You and your vet will know when the time comes and that decision needs to be made.

Hugs and Welcome to TCS . We are hear to listen any time.
post #4 of 18
What a tough thing to have to be going through. But really if she isn't in pain yet and she is still eating and walking around and seeking affection and using the litterbox, I would hang in there a little longer. I mean, realize you may have to make a definate decision soon, if she were to take a turn for the worst, but for now, just enjoy her company. She sounds like she still has a lot of life left. Good luck and hope everything goes alright.
post #5 of 18
Thread Starter 
Thank you so much everyone for making me feel at ease and feel welcome. I will definitely make the most of the time we have left. She is a fighter, my poor old girl. It's good to talk to people who understand that these are my babies and letting go is a very difficult thing. I have had her for 6 of her 19 years (she was my sisters until her son developed asma) but I have known her since she was a kitten. Well, tahnks again! Baby (her name) and I are off to dreamland! It's late here!
post #6 of 18
I'm so sorry for you and Baby

I agree with Jen,She still has a decent quality of life so try to spend as much time
with her as you can.She could live for quite a while if it is a tumour that is not
agressive,has the vet done a biopsy to find out how agressive it is?Most vets don't
bother because the way they see it is,cancer is cancer the end result is the same.
But they never say how long...because even they don't know.

Keep on cherishing your girl for however long she is happy,She will give you signs
when she has had enough.....

I will pray for your little girl and you and your little boy
post #7 of 18
If she is still eating, and seeming to have a decent quality of life, then no, you are not wrong. You will notice things like stopping eating, stopping coming for fusses etc - when that happens, then you have to think about it - but, as awful as this sounds, you might want to start thinking about what you would like to happen, i.e. a home visit - and some people say the remaining cat can deal with it better if they are allowed to see the body. A lot of people want their cats to go 'naturally', but the reality is when you are dealing with terminal illness, it isn't the best thing for them, as there is a chance they will suffer and be in pain. I am sorry you are having to deal with this though, it is the downside of owning pets, and I have had to make that decision with a cat with cancer, so I do know what it is like.
post #8 of 18
Hello and I am sorry you are joining TCS under these sad circumstances. But what others say is right - you will one day look into her eyes and as a caring sensitive cat owner, you will know she has had enough. The light will have gone out of them. It is such a difficult decision to make, but she will tell you.
post #9 of 18
Hello I can only echo what the otheres have said. It sounds like your kitty is not in any pain and she has a quality of life You will know when and you will know in your heart that you are doing the right thing out of love and respect for your special girl Loving her and caring for her as you are doing is the best approach now
Your male kitty will obviously know when she is gone and he, like you will be affected by it again all you can do is love him and give him lots of cuddles & attention. In time you might consider getting him a buddy, but of course one thing at a time.
We are all here for you and please feel free to come and 'download' anytime and when you are ready to tell us more please do
post #10 of 18

Thats really sad and I feel for you. Ditto what everyone else has said. I think you will know when you look at her and her eyes and see that she is not there anymore.
post #11 of 18
Welcome to TCS. I agree with all the others. As long as her quality of life is good, she is eating and enjoying getting cuddles from you hang on as long as possible. You and she will know when it is time. Hugs to you and Baby.
post #12 of 18
Not a cut/dry decision. This is my experience. My first cat Mitten was 13 yrs old when I had him PTS. It was a tough decision. He was a solid 14 lb cat. All of a sudden he started loosing weight, he could not keep food down - it would go right thru him. He started having problems getting to the litter pan in time and he would give you a look of "I'm sorry mommy - I couldn't help it".

He was fine if he was confined in a room with the pan, but not the entire house.

I knew he should have gone in sooner, but I was young, didn't have a lot of money. When I took him in for the last time, he only weighed 6 lbs - a walking skelaton. I knew it was time - didn't want him to suffer any more. The vet told me that he could fix him up with medicine but he could be gone in a few days, weeks or maybe another month or two. Was one of the toughest decisions to make!

With Spooky who was 15 1/2 yrs old, I was luckier - he died peacefully from a heart attack at home - curled up in his fav snuggle bed.
post #13 of 18
I think you will know when the time is right to let her go.

I think as long as she is in no pain, and she is still eating and going to the bathroom, then just love her all you can.

I am sending you hugs and prayer from Mississippi.
post #14 of 18
Just the fact that you are worried about when the "right time " is tells me you will not prolong her life past the time when she lets you know it is time.

I want to share the experience of a friend of mine. She has two cats both male the older cat was 10 and the "mother" of the 8 year old. The older cat was diagnosed with a brain tumor and given three months or less. My friend was so worried about the younger cat losing his life long companion that she got a new kitten. Something I would not have done as it can be stressful adding a new energetic member, but they all did very well together.

Much to the Vets amazement the tumor went into remission. Those three months stretched into a year. When the tumor began to grow again they began watching carefully because they too were worried. They knew it was time when he no longer enjoyed what he used to do every day. They could see life had became a burden. Their boy told them he was ready to go.
post #15 of 18
I can only agree with the others whom have responded to you so far. I am sorry that you are having to go through this, but I agree that when it is time, Baby will let you know, and in your heart you will know.
post #16 of 18
That is a very tough decission to make. I don't fault you for hanging on. I would probably do the same thing.
post #17 of 18
Thread Starter 
I can not even begin to tell you all how much I appreciate everyones concern and good wishes. Today was a good day for Baby. She ate, napped and snuggled while we watched Desperate Houswives Thank you so much for all the advice and for sharing your experiences. this is a place I will definitely come back to alot. Hopefully I can provide some of you with the same support you have given me. Thanks again!
post #18 of 18
I'm so sorry to hear that your Baby isn't doing well. I can only echo what everyone else has said. Just keep a close eye on her and you will know when its time. If she is still eating, using the litterbox and doesnt seem to be in pain then cherish your time with her. I know that when the time comes you will make the right decision, because you do love her so much.
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