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My grandmother needs your good thoughts right now

post #1 of 26
Thread Starter 
A few days ago I recieved a call from my mother and she informed me that my grandmother was going into surgery to have her leg amputated. It was a bit suprising but she is a diabetic and I knew she didn't take good care of herself. Last year she had to have part of her foot amputated.

The real kicker of it is that my grandmother's companion(I'd hate to say boyfriend since they've been together for many years) called my mom to let her know this and that he physically could not take care of her anymore. He asked my mom to move down to Florida(where they live) to take care of her.

My poor mom is tearing herself up over this. She WANTS to take care of her mother but at the same time she has a great job that she worked very hard for and she has my brother and sister whom she doesn't think my soon to be ex-stepfather will let her take them out of state.

So on Friday my mom called me to let me know how gramma was doing. She had her surgery but because her heart was so weak she is in critical condition and is last I knew in ICU. The nurses told my mother stright out that my grandmother is not a well woman and they were not sure of what was going to happen.

I'm waiting for another call from my mom to see if she found out anything new or if she was able to talk to my grandmother at all. If you could send some good thoughts her way... She really needs them!

Has anyone else had to deal with a situation like this? I'm used to dealing with diabetic dogs and cats not people! Any words of wisdom?
post #2 of 26
Unfortunately with diabetes, it is sometimes called The Silent Disease, because the person really does feel healthy. It fakes them out to think they are, even if they have to stick themselves with needles every day to test blood sugar.

The biggest culprit of diabetics is foot care. If they do not wipe between their toes after every shower or bath, over time, a fungus of sorts starts to grow and invade their foot. If they are eating out of control and not watching what they are eating, or not taking meds, the fungus can grow to quite an extreme and even cause an amputation. I took care of a diabetic woman for years, Marie Porter and she had this fungus and eventually she had to have both her legs amputated. If a diabetic stumbs a toe, or gets a wound, it may not heal correctly. It is an ugly disease and many do not take it seriously. I know this, because Mike is diabetic and hard-headed about it from taking his meds to caring for himself .

I am sorry Jessica that your grandmother is in a bad way. There are resources available to get someone to go in-home care with her and unless you mom has a strong back and is willing to lift her mother in and out of wheelchair, bed, bath, it might be a better idea to call someplace like Homemaker's Upjohn and talk to the nursing staff there. This is an organization of caring nurses that will come into the home and care for the sick and disabled.

Best of luck!
post #3 of 26
I am os very sorry about your Grandmoter. She will be in my thoughts and prayers!
post #4 of 26
Jessica, sending good thoughts to your grandmother and your family. I hope your mom finds a good alternative to moving to Florida.
post #5 of 26
I am terribly sorry to hear about your grandma - positive vibes going her way!!! Instead of Mom moving down to Florida - how about moving
Grandma in and getting in home care for her?
post #6 of 26
Positive energy coming to you, your mother and your grandmother. Please let us know what happens.
post #7 of 26
Jessica, my heart goes out to all of you. You can be sure that there will be many prayers for your grandmother's health and wisdom for your mother. My brother-in-law lost his leg from nicking his toe while cutting his nails. He had several bad spells when we thought he wouldn't make it, but recovered, got a prosthetic leg, and lived for quite a few years afterwards. He followed his diet and instructions meticulously, however. I know that's the key to a longer life. I hope arrangements can be made to enable your mother to keep her good job and still visit with her mom. These decisions are so hard. God bless you and your family.
post #8 of 26
I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother, I am sending prayers her way!!! Is there any way she could come to live with your mother instead of the other way around?
post #9 of 26
Sending lots of good wishes your way to you and your family :flower:
I haven't had to deal with diabetes in our family yet, but my father is elderly and had a heart bypass a few years ago.
He was in ICU and had a heart attack after the surgery and was not a well man at all. The doctors and nurses did not give him much of a chance at all. You will be surprised at just how strong people can be though. They don't give in easily.
He pulled through and was fine.
Once she is stable and ready to come home then I would suggest having her moved rather than the other way around. That way it's a lot less disruptive for everyone.
post #10 of 26
Thread Starter 
Thank you guys for your well wishes. I have not heard back from my mom yet on her condition so maybe I'll give her a call today and see if things have improved.

I did mention to my mom about the possibility of her moving up to Rhode Island(Where my mom lives) so she can take care of her. She told me John(My grandmother's companion) said she'd never move back up north so my mom was taking that as a no. I told my mom that she hasn't even talked to gramma yet so she couldn't possibly know what she'd want to do. I don't think my grandmother would want her to uproot herself and the kids to move down there to take care of her.

My mother is a strong woman but I don't think physically and mentally she would be able to do it for very long. She'd have to work the nightshift, take care of my grandmother and raise two young children. There's no way she'd be able to do that for any length of time without making herself sick. I've seen my mom almost kill herself by working so much when she was rasing a baby and was pregnant I don't want to see that again.

I thought about having my mom check into having someone else come in and help with the care but I'm not sure if that's something that the state would cover for her since she does not have health insurance. I was told that when she had part of her foot amputated, the hospital staff did not treat her very well because she did not have insurance. I'm confident that my mom is looking into everything and hopefully my grandmother will have the best care either way it goes.

Thanks again for listening to my mumble jumble.
post #11 of 26
Jessica, I think we would all agree that we only wish there was more we could to help. My prayers continue. You're very special to us.
post #12 of 26
I will keep your family in my prayers!
post #13 of 26 thoughts and prayers are with your Grandmother and the rest of your family. And special {{{hugs}}} to your Mom...she is in a difficult position. {{{sob}}}}
post #14 of 26

I just read this. I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. I hope she pulls through and a solution is reached that's good for everyone.
Sending best wishes and positive energy to all involved. *hugs*
post #15 of 26
Jessica, I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. (((((hugs))))). Diabetes is a very serious disease. My dad has Type I diabetes ("juvenile" diabetes). He was diagnosed at age 9 with it - one year after insulin was invented. He, however, has always been very careful about his diet and exercise. I grew up without sweets in the house (but of course am a junk food junkie as an adult ). But diabetics arteries harden faster despite what they do, they have terrible circulation problems, eye problems, etc. I am so forunate that he is still alive. He survived quintuple bypass surgery in 1994, and he will celebrate his 71st birthday tomorrow!

I don't think Hissy mentioned it, but one other thing your grandmother can do is wear special socks. They make socks for diabetics that help to improve the circulation in their legs. This may help save her other leg. Please make sure she and her s/o know about this!

I'm so sorry she is without insurance. That will make finding care more difficult. Still, there may be options, and it is certainly worth looking into! Will she be getting a prosthetic leg? ...and if her s/o has become unable to care for her, she may want to move back North, despite what he says. But your mom will talk to her, and that will help, too.

Keeping your grandmum in my prayers.
post #16 of 26
Jessica , I'm sending out a bunch of positive vibes to your grandmother ! i hope it turns out okay for her 'and your mom !)

post #17 of 26
Thread Starter 
Thank you again for your kind words! You all are so wonderful!!

I talked to my mom last night and she was able to talk to my grandmother. She told me that she sounded good but she was on some serious pain meds and was flying a little high. She is out of ICU now and things seem to be going well so far.

It always helps a tough situation by surrounding yourself(even if it's just on the net) with people who understand or just care enough to wish the best. I know I keep saying it but once certainly isn't enough, thanks a bunch!! Your posts have helped me see this in a more positive light.
post #18 of 26
Jessica, I'm glad your grandmother is doing well. It's such a helpless feeling just waiting for news, isn't it?

I'm also glad we could help you out, even just a little.

Postive, healing energy to your grandmother, your family, and you.
post #19 of 26
Jessica, I will pray that Grandmother just keeps getting better and better. Hey, I would have posted here even if I had nothing to say. For several months after you and Heidi joined, our posts always followed 1 2 3. Did you notice that? It's so nice to have you back. Now let's get Grandmother well. God bless her and all of you.
post #20 of 26
Jessica, I do hope things turn out well for your family. It's such a difficult position to be in.

My thoughts are with you and your mom/family.

Glad to hear your grandma is doing well.

post #21 of 26
Jessica, lots of love and prayers to you and your family...
post #22 of 26
Jessica, I hope everything works out for you grandmother to get the care she needs.
post #23 of 26
I also pray that your grandmother keeps getting better each day!
post #24 of 26
Thread Starter 
My mom sent me an e-mail letting me know that my grandmother is doing well. She is still very weak and it's hard to understand her when she speaks(Must be the pain meds?). From what my mom wrote they are getting ready to transfer her to rehabilitation. So far so good!
post #25 of 26
That certainly sounds promising, Jessica. I'm sending continuing prayers for her well being and peace of mind for all of you.
post #26 of 26
That is great to hear!!!
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