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Technical Support For Married Couples

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
Another one from my ever-lovin' daughter!

Subject: Technical Support For Married Couples
Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that
the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now
monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night
10.3, Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Golf 3.6 .

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work onWife 1.0 ..
Please help!

Troubled User.....

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a
Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and
is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!! It is also impossible to
delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or
purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support . I recommend that you keepWife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest
installing the background application"Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\\APOLOGIZE! because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance .
Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 . However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will
cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens,
the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional
software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0
and will cause
irreversible damage to the operating system!

Best of luck,
Tech Support
post #2 of 5

That is so going on my fridge door!!
post #3 of 5
i saw that years ago, but stil makes me laugh.
post #4 of 5
Oh that is toooo funny! That's one to pass around the office!
post #5 of 5
Gotta email to Neil at work as a reminder!!!
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