Had to pick my 5 yr old up from school...Not Sick

Nope not because he was sick but because he threw such a big fit before a field trip I had to go and get him from the principal's office. I don't know what went down to cause him to do this but no one could calm him down or talk him out of the tantrum. Things like this had been an on going problem since he was 2. We are on our second therapist to try and figure out what is causing this and how to correct it. The first one labeled him ADHD within 30 minutes of looking at him and sent us home with Ritalin and told us to come back in two weeks to adjust the dosage. We did not go back to him. The second one (current) is taking a non medicine approach so we will see how this works out.

Right now he is in his room until his older brother comes home. I feel like if I let him in the living room to watch tv and such we would be rewarding the bad behavior and he will do this again. But I don't know if I am doing the right thing. Am I doing the right thing?

Yes you are doing the right thing. And I must say bravo for taking a non-medicine approach! I hate it when doctors throw meds at children to mask a problem.

Could it be that maybe he felt stressed about going on the field trip that cause him to have the melt down?

I honestly don't know. He has never had a problem with other field trips. The only think I can think is that he had a melt down because the trip was to the local hospital. And he has never had a good experience with hospitals (surgeries, tests, bloodwork etc.). So maybe that is way he had the melt down. Though he has never had those melt downs with me when we go to the hospital. I just don't really know. The littlest things can cause a melt down with him.

Does he find it difficult to cope when his routine changes ?
If they didn't take time to explain the field trip properly he may have miss understood and freaked out, sometimes even simple things like making it clear that they were coming back to school afterwards. Some children need to have every step of something spelled out clearly. He could of thought they were just going to take him away.

Sorry you are having such difficulties

I don't have any kids and other than babysitting when I was a teenager and watching what my friends and co-workers go through with their own kids, I have no real experience with kids and their behaviours.

However I do agree about not rewarding for negative behaviour.

My friend has a daughter who when younger was a real handful. Very intelligent, but so scatter brained! She also was very outspoken to the point of standing up in class and telling her teacher off if the teacher admonished a student. When she was eating there would be food everywhere! Literally! Her hearing was very selective...more so than in most other children and you had to repeat yourself often before she would acknowledge you. Plus she had the attention span of a peanut. In addition to that she had a hard time making and keeping friends.

She tried everything... spanking, time outs, talks, rewards, private school...you name it she tried it all without success. And the school cousellors were of no help either.

Her and I finally came up with a diagnosis that seems to fit her to a tee.

Asperger's Disorder
characterized by impairments in social interactions and the presence of restricted interests and activities, with no clinically significant general delay in language, and testing in the range of average to above average intelligence.

Perhaps your child has a form of autism too?

http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/as_thru_years.html

Asperger's Disorder and Autism have been ruled out. Socially he pretty much gets along with people. I mean he still has some melt downs but he plays with his peers fine. He is developmentally disabled to a degree so thats part of his speech delays. But he also was born with a soft palate cleft and he has had 3 surgeries to correct that. Still may need more in the future but we hope not.

Anakat you could be correct he may not have understood completely that this was just a field and he may have freaked about going to the hospital.

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

Sorry you are having such difficulties

I don't have any kids and other than babysitting when I was a teenager and watching what my friends and co-workers go through with their own kids, I have no real experience with kids and their behaviours.

However I do agree about not rewarding for negative behaviour.

My friend has a daughter who when younger was a real handful. Very intelligent, but so scatter brained! She also was very outspoken to the point of standing up in class and telling her teacher off if the teacher admonished a student. When she was eating there would be food everywhere! Literally! Plus she had the attention span of a peanut. In addition to that she had a hard time making and keeping friends.

She tried everything... spanking, time outs, talks, rewards, private school...you name it she tried it all without success. And the school cousellors were of no help either.

Her and I finally came up with a diagnosis that seems to fit her to a tee.

Asperger's Disorder
characterized by impairments in social interactions and the presence of restricted interests and activities, with no clinically significant general delay in language, and testing in the range of average to above average intelligence.

Perhaps your child has a form of autism too?

Click to expand...

We would need A LOT more specific information about your son if we were to even suggest an autistic spectrum disorder, even Asperger's...and if you SUSPECT an autism spectrum disorder at all, the time to check into it is NOW, as early intervention is the key with children on the spectrum. The younger it can be identified, the better off your child will be.

I'm a special education teacher, and currently my class comprises of 6 moderate to profoundly autistic children...most of my students this year do have other disabilities as well. I have, however, worked with children on the higher-functioning range of the autism spectrum (including kids with Asperger's), and children with ODD (oppositional defiant disorder), and ADD/ADHD.
I've also had some mildly developmentally delayed children who exhibited autistic-like behaviors, without being officially diagnosed on the spectrum, and children with mild to moderate emotional disturbances.

Here's some questions that you may want to ask yourself about your son:

*How is his handwriting? Does he have any fine (or gross) motor delays that seem to impair his ability to perform daily tasks, such as writing his name clearly, tying his shoes independently (or the refusal to attempt this task), difficulty with snaps, zippers, and other fasteners? Does he look a bit "floppy"...meaning low muscle tone?
*Is he smiley? Does he find humor and joy in typical kid-things? Or is his personality rather "flat" and joyless? Or perhaps he finds joy and humor in atypical things...things that really aren't supposed to be funny or delightful?
*How is his language skills? Does he have a broad vocabulary that is typical of most 5 year-olds, or does he seem significantly above average in his vocabulary? A lot of children with Asperger's have a very impressive vocabulary, and use a lot of colorful adjectives, descriptions, and sound like "little professors" in their daily interactions.
*Does he avoid social situations with his peers? Does he make friends easily, and seem to understand what is appropriate play and interaction with kids his own age?
*Does he have something he is overly-interested in? Something he is basically fanatical about, and his thoughts and actions are limited and restricted by these interests?
*Does he have any sensory issues? By this, I mean, are there certain clothing fabrics or materials that bother him A LOT, or certain textures of food he drastically avoids, light sensitivities, certain levels of noise or sounds that bother him excessively...how about using lotions and other products on him...does he avoid handwashing, toothpaste, soaps, etc.? Or perhaps he has a stereotypical movement he has...rocking, the need to bounce, hand flapping, etc.?
*How is his ability to transition from one activity to the next? Does he need to be forewarned in some way when something is going to change, or when something new is coming? How does he respond to "surprises" in his day? Does he like things done routinely, without a lot of deviation or change?
*What happens directly before a meltdown with your son? What happens immediately after a meltdown? Is there any pattern you're seeing here?

If any of these things sound like your son, perhaps Aspergers could be a consideration. Children with Asperger's are bright, intelligent, interesting little people, who need a lot of structure, routine, sensory and fine motor help, and behavior modification. Most grow up to be fully functional, successful adults, if they are taught and acquire the skills they need to be independent in a "neurotypical" world.

If you want any behavioral suggestions, or help at all with ANYTHING with your son, feel free to PM me, and I'll offer any help I can give you.

Originally Posted by Ping

Asperger's Disorder and Autism have been ruled out. Socially he pretty much gets along with people. I mean he still has some melt downs but he plays with his peers fine. He is developmentally disabled to a degree so thats part of his speech delays. But he also was born with a soft palate cleft and he has had 3 surgeries to correct that. Still may need more in the future but we hope not.

Anakat you could be correct he may not have understood completely that this was just a field and he may have freaked about going to the hospital.

Click to expand...

Sorry, you posted about the autism/asperger's while I was typing the reply above.

What type of assistance or services are you receiving in the school setting for your little guy?

He gets special ed class 2-3 hrs per day every day, speech (I think 45 mins a day) on top of his reg. class.

Here is his last IEP review on his delays:

Primary Exceptionality: Significan Developmental Delay
Secondary " " : Speech Language Impairment

Battelle Developmental Inventory:
Personal/Social: age equiv. 27mth
adaptive: 32mths
fine motor: 30mths
gross motor: 35-38mths
motor total: 31mths
communications: 27mths
cognitive: 27mths
BDI total: age equiv. 28mths

As for as his speech it says: Distortion of all consonats phonemes with exception of m/n and ng
He attempts other sounds b/p/d/ and t
muffled, distorted, nasal speech

total language 30mths delay of 17 mths
auditory comprehension 30mths delay of 17mths
expressive communication 28mths delay 19mths

I don't have any advice- but i just wanted to let you know that i am praying for you and your son and that i hope you find answers to your questions about his behavior soon ((((VIBES))))) I think right now the main things are patience and communication. I hope you are able to find out how best to help him soon. You are such a good mom- he's lucky to have such a wonderful/caring person in his life- i know ya'll will be able to find out some solutions/answers soon.

Im with Nikki.
I am not one for advice on this but I do wish you the best.
I dont think what your doing is wrong by keeping him in his room.
Sometimes kids need to know you run the show not them and behavior that disrupts the class, or the house isnt giong to be tolerated.

your doing a great job looking for alternate routes beside medication, threapy can be costly but your doing the right thing and this can help the whole family. when i was a teen i sufferd from depression I often had my mom sit in with me on my sessions and it helped her see what was going on with me and how her role as my mother affected me. It was very beneficial.

Maybe he is/was just a cranky kid--I was and I know others who were. Or maybe he could be acting out for attention.

Having spent more time in the hospital than I care to think about, I think I would have freaked out at the thought of going to any hospital, for any reason (actually, wouldn't care about the reason ) without my mom or dad (or now, my DH ), especially at his age and what he's had to go there for .

I was 17 the first time I had to go in the hospital that I can remember (had 2 other major surgeries before the age of 1) to get my gallbladder out, and I cried when they told me and freaked my mom out- I don't cry unless it is for a very big reason, and I don't get freaked out about much! But something inside just popped and I couldn't help it... So I guess you've probably figured out by now, I'd kinda lean toward that that was a normal reaction to a place that isn't fun at all for him . Been there, done that! NO THANKS!

The littlist things can set kids off, and all we can do is try to understand them. I'm glad you're seeing a specialist. While I was student teaching 2nd grade, we had a few students who had take home notebooks. The teacher would correspond with the parent, and the parent could leave comments as well. This let us both know how the child's day/ night/ weekend went. A lot of times we would just get it back signed, but at least we'd know the parents read it. This also helped with being cosistent with the child and triggers for outbusrts. The kids were always really proud when they could take their notebook home after having a great day. Just a thought.

Good luck!