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I need help!!!

post #1 of 24
Thread Starter 
Hi guys

I really need your help. I appreciate all the advise you wonderful people give and wonder if perhaps you could give me some suggestions!

As you all probably know by now I am infatuated with my cats and love them to death. I also have a Russian Blue coming by the end of the month as a show/breed kitty. I am in love with her already. So I have a house that we rent and it's not overly big about 12-13sqm I think that's the way you say it. It has 3 bedrooms one which we use as a study and one that Peter’s kids use when they come over every fortnight and ours. We have one bathroom and a very small laundry that is just off the bathroom. Our living area is just a dining and living room open plan. We live in a fairly quiet street (no through road but fairly close to a big street). We have a nice small garden and a covered patio. We are also in the process of looking for another place to live that may be a bit bigger but for now this is it.

So on to the problem. Pete and I went to diner last night and we started talking about the Russian and our cats and he is very concerned that we are going to have 4 cats in this place and that when it comes time to move we are not going to find a landlord that will let us move in with that many animals. I can see his point. He said that it's not fair on the cats we do have to do this as he has always believed when you get an animal it is yours for life and you should get any more until the animal passes away. He feels that 4 cats is too much and that if I am getting the Russian to show and breed that the other cats are going to feel jealous and left out with all the time I have to spend with her. Also to have kittens from her eventually and the house will be over run. He is very supportive of my doing this and wants me to go ahead but I think he feels I should have not have had all these other cats if you know what I mean. He feels that having 1 or 2 Russians and to be a small cattery would have been enough. I can see his point but I love my other 3 and don’t want to get rid of them just because I have this next stage of my life finally coming to fruition.

I took Amy in as a stray and as you all know she has kittens, I have adored having her and the kittens and am looking for good homes for the kittens. Pete said perhaps we could find someone to give Amy a good home too now that she is so tame and healthy. I don’t know. It’s not fair on her is it? I love her and I didn’t think of finding her a home, I would be so sad, so does that mean I shouldn’t get the Russian baby? I can’t give up the idea of not starting this either. I am home for a couple of months and with everything that has happened to me this year need to do this if that makes sense. (Screams in frustration) He asked me if I would be prepared to give up Harry or Haley and limit our cat family to just 2 for now till we can one day afford our own home and then I can do whatever I want to do.

I understand what he is saying but I don’t know what to do. I love my cats and they are a part of my life and I love my Russian too and I want to show her and have that as part of my life. I don’t want to keep waiting for everything, I know that may sound selfish but I have waited a long time. I kept putting off having kids and now I can’t have any. This is what I want in my life. Is that so bad? But as I can see it’s not fair.

Any way I guess that gives you some idea of my dilemma. Please help me. I am sorry this is so long I just needed to get it off my chest. I have been agonising over this and in tears. Thank you in advance for any advise you can offer.

Love and Hugs
post #2 of 24
You might try sending Hissy a PM. She's very knowledgeable and may be able to give you some good advice.
post #3 of 24
I understand your dilemma. We have 5 cats, 1 dog and live in a 2 bedroom house. My furkids have never liked cat beds so they have figured it out. Jessie sleeps on my cushioned computer chair in the 2nd bedroom. Lady and Nikkie each sleep on one couch (there are 2 in the living room), Sassy likes to sleep under our bed, Sammy sleeps on our bed and Luckie, the little rascal loves to sleep on the carpet in front of the bathroom door. I'm always afraid I'm going to step on him in the middle of the night. We had a heck of a time finding a landlord that would take pets at all let alone 4. We didn't have Lady and Sassy when we moved here. To put it simply we just lucked out. Waitsburg, where we live, is a tiny country town in eastern Washington State. My sister lives here. The bigger towns are at least 20 miles from here. We had not planned to move to this small a town but we found a nice small house we could afford and the landlord accepted pets with a small deposit. $50.00 each. In the bigger towns, if you found a landlord that accepted pets, the deposts were $200 to $400 each. So I understand your problem in that respect. I am sorry dear heart but I think that you have a very hard decision to make and only you can make it in the long run. I wish there were some concrete way to help you. I can only tell you how I feel. I will tell you that if Amy were mine I could not give her up. I could not give the others up either. They love you. You are their mom and their protector. If you send them to new homes to make way for little princess I think that deep in your heart you would not have complete peace of mind or contentment with her and the new business. Perhaps I'm wrong. I don't actually know you but I sense that you have a great deal of love in your heart. Nor am I trying to lay any guilt on you if you should decide to give them up. There's a saying that my mom used to tell me "good things come to those who wait". I know how hard waiting is so do not think that I am saying, don't take little princess and start your business. I am not saying that. I'm saying take a deep breath or two, calm your mind and give your brain a chance to sort things through. There is never only one road to accomplish an end. Consider whats best for your furkids and yourself and how you can accomplish it. Perhaps one of the others will have some concrete ideas. I'm afraid I run a lot on emotion where furchildren are concerned. Take care sweetling. I will be thinking about you and sending lots of calming thoughts. Please keep in touch. Its much better to talk things out.
Blessed Be.
Hugs, Dee
Mom to Jessie, Nikkie, Luckie, Lady, Sammy & Sassy
post #4 of 24
Thread Starter 
Dee thank you rom the bottom of my heart. You are very sweet and kind and helpful. I think I already know I cant give up my babies anyway. I love them and would never forgive myself. I guess another thing I am concerned about is how they would feel sharing their home with a newie too and how Tatyana would cope with this mad house. I know that I have enough love and care to go around, they are my children after all. I just worry about how it's all going to work and also how Peter feels as this is his home too. He keeps saying to do it as he wants me to be happy! But he just wants to make sure I am doing the right thing and have thought it through. I guess a few deep breaths are in order.

Dee my furbabies do what yours do LOL. Harry sleeps on Petes leather chair, Hayley on our bed (usually wedged between us) and Amy used to sleep on top of me or on one of our couches. There are plenty of nights I wake up though with hayley on my chest, Harry on my hip and Amy on my legs, claustrophobic to say the least LOL.

Thank you you certainly seem like a beautiful and caring person. I would love to stay in touch.

post #5 of 24
Leslie Sweetling,
Thank you for your kind words but I didn't really do anything. I felt that the wheels in your head were spinning too fast. That always the time to take a few deep breaths and be quiet inside yourself. You will do what needs to be done to accomplish your goal. I did not really think you could give up the kids. Give them a chance to show you. I only started with 3. Then came Lady and then Sassy. Lady for some reason is special. They all accepted her almost instantly. With Sassy it has taken more time but they have come to accept him also. The little princess is very young which makes it easier. It may take some time for them to all adjust or they may all "adopt" her very quickly. I believe in this month's newletter there is an article on introducing a new furbaby into the group. You may feel like a mother hen with new chicks for awhile but what a wonderful way to be. Remember, they love us unconditionally even on our worst hair day. And think of all the lovely stroking and petting you can do with all of them. You'll never have to worry about high blood pressure. Ha Ha.

I just found the biography or is autobiography thread a couple of hours ago. I added mine. Part of it was very difficult to do. Check it out dear heart and you will see we have some pain in common. I wish it wasn't so. Please keep in touch. I think that somewhere on site it tells us where and how to send regular e-mails to each other. I certainly want to know how everything goes.

One of these times we will have to talk about Australia. I always thought that if I could travel the world Australia would be the first place I'd go. Except for snakes. Don't tell me about the snakes. I have seen documentaries about Australia and I know you have some gruesom snakes. I love animals but I do not do snakes.

Well Leslie, it 4 a.m. here so I think I will sign off the forum for now. Due to my arthritis I sometimes have sleepless nights and this was one of them. I am sending good thoughts to you and will be watching for your postings to see how you are doing.

Blessed Be Leslie.

Hugs, Dee
Mom to Jessie, Nikkie, Luckie, Lady, Sammy & Sassy
post #6 of 24

I know what you are going through right now. About 2 years ago, we went through the same thing in our house. We started out with 7 true rescue cats. When we decided to start breeding, we knew our numbers were going to increase and weren't sure how to go about doing this. It really came down to 2 things for us. We either didn't breed at all, or we kept all our rescues and started our breeding program. I couldn't justify re-homing my rescues who came from horrible places the first time. They were all happy and well adjusted to life with us. Although I can't take in anymore rescues and feel guilty sometimes, I volunteer my time to a rescue and help in other ways. Right now we are in a 3 bedroom with about 900 square feet. We have 2 of our cats in our daughters room because one has pancreatitis and the other is a BIG bully to the other cats. The rest are allowed to run around with the exception of the cats that stay in our "cattery" which is our office. Because of our love for cats and dogs, most of our decisions have been based on the fact we have so many animals. We just started the process on buying a house. When we were looking, we kept in mind all the animals. We picked a house called a raised ranch. It has 3 bedrooms, and a partially finished basement which is not all the way underground and has windows. All the cats will be allowed to run the house with the exception of the whole males which will live on almost a whole floor to themselves.
I know how frustrated you feel right now. It's a huge step to decide how many cats you can really have. I am sure with some planning, you can come up with something to make everyone happy.
post #7 of 24
Leslie, I think you have gotten some very good advice here, and I don't really have any to add, other than I think you should try to keep your other three cats if you possibly can, like Dee said, you are their mommy, and they would not understand why you gave them away. It is different I think with kittens, we find them good homes and they learn to love their new mommies, but older cats are just so used to us and their homes. I know this is hard for you, but maybe 4 cats won't be so bad, and the kittens that the Russian Blue has will be sold, right? So maybe it will all work out!! Keep us posted on it! We are here for you!!!
post #8 of 24
Thread Starter 
Thanks so much guys!

I had a good read over what you all had to say (it means so much to me) and had another talk with Pete. He just looked at me and said "stop stressing, everything will work out, we will deal with Landlords etc when the time comes and whats one more cat anyway?" So I guess my furbabies are safe (so happy) and I still can have Tatyana. So what will be will be, We will just make sure they get extra attension (don't know if that's possible since I spend all my time with them anyway) and get them all used to each other.

So to Lorie, Dee, Sandie and Debby thank you so much. I don't know how it will all turn out but I will put every effort into making this work! You are all such an inspiration and such a strength to me. I have a feeling I may be calling on you all for help again in the future though even if it's just to tell you all I am going crazy LOL.

Debby I will be selling them, and thats at least a year away as I want to wait till Tayana is over 12 months old before going down that path (if at all) I will be entering her in her first show in December though so we will see how she does then.

I feel as if a great weight has lifted off my shoulders (I wish it was that easy off the hips)

Thank you all again a million times

Love and Hugs
post #9 of 24
I am so glad to hear it will all work out!!! YaaaaaY!!!

And you can call on us for help anytime for any reason!!
post #10 of 24
Hello Bundylee

This is my first response to a post, I don't know you but your problem doesn't sound too bad.

I think your home may be bigger than 12 square metres .... that is incredibly small, only 12 feet x 9 feet or thereabouts. Maybe it is that small LOL!!

Don't go back on the Russian Blue .... sounds like you desparately need it. Do it! I am sure something will happen to sort out the rest of the problem.

Meow !!!

post #11 of 24
I'm glad to hear you've decided not to give any away, and to still get Tatyana.
These things do have a way of working themselves out and I'm sure you will be fine.
In the past when I rented I always had four cats with me and it was a little harder to find landlords that were ok with it, but I did always find somewhere. I lived in 6 different places with those 4 cats before buying the house I'm in now.
Our house is a small 2 bedroom place and it's not very big at all but we managed with the 4 cats. We even had 2 dogs as well for a while there.
One time I had friends staying with me for a while and we had my 4 cats, my 2 budgies, her 5 cats and 4 adults all in my little house.
Now THAT was interesting!! LOL
Anyway, hang in there and I'm positive it will be ok.
post #12 of 24
Thread Starter 
Debby Thank you and ditto! As always you are just so sweet!

Tom Thank you for your kind words and for being so astute too LOL, yes I very much do need it! I laughed so much about the house size, well it does feel small sometimes especially when Pete’s 2 big hulking teenagers are here as well LOL. I think it should be 110sqm, which is approx 12sq, does that sound better? Sorry for the mix up LOL. Welcome to the forum Tom, I am glad you are here and thank you for responding to my post too. I look forward to hearing all about you and your furbabies too.

Louise Thank you, I really didn’t want to give up on anyone of my cats. I guess we will be all right, so full steam ahead. I look forward to catching up with you soon. I am glad you joined the forum. This really is the best place. I had to laugh when you told me you had 4 cats, 2 budgies, her 5 cats and 4 adults all in your little house. WOW!!!!! It must have been very interesting indeed!!! Guess it’s not so bad after all LOL.

Thank you all

post #13 of 24
Nice to hear back from you Bundy Lee

Yes, I do have several fur babies .... a lovely woman and several four legged fur balls LOL

I can provide details later LOL

When does your kitten turn up? Where did you buy it from?


post #14 of 24
Thread Starter 
Tom Thanks I look forward to the details! is your lovely woman one of our members too? if not get her on!! And remember we love seeing pictures of furballs!!!

My Russian turns up at the end of the month (I can't wait) I am buying her from a place called Holyoak in perth you can look at the website www.holyoakcattery.com.au

It's the same place that Louise got Orion from so I am really glad I met someone who had purchased from them as I live way to far away to see them or the kitten before I bought! as the kitten is going to cost me close to $900au I was very nervous indeed! but with Louise's help and the pictures of Tatyana I think all will be okay! I am already known here as the snap happy Aussie cause I just got a digital cammera and have been posting thousands of pictures all over the place. So be warned you will all get flooded with pictures of her too LOL. Talk to you soon.
post #15 of 24
LOL...thank goodness for digital cameras.
If I had of been taking pictures of Orion with a normal film camera then it would have cost me a fortune already and I've only had him since May.
I can fill the camera with 80 photos easily in the same day
post #16 of 24
Thread Starter 
ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL. I am so embarrassed sometimes, Pete comes home and has to sit through all the photos I took that day. I really must get a life LOL. It's just so quick and easy with a digital isn't it? I have already been looking at things and thinking I should take photos of my artwork and house and garden to post up here so that it's not just my cats LOL. Ahhhh but it takes one cat lover to know another so I guess we are all the same!!! I am so glad you joined Louise! :tounge2:
post #17 of 24
Bundy Lee

You love pictures of furballs .... wow! Lucky I have a digicam. Not many people make direct requests but I can certainly comply.

Is it okay to post them on this site?

Would the others mind do you think?

My soul mate would probably enjoy this fourm, I must mention it to her!

She is a busy woman, with a number of interests. To get attention I curl up on the lounge, cover my self with an old skin rug and make purring noises. Only then does she realise that she has an extra cat, even if it is an old neutered Tom LOL.

Seriously, your latest livestock purchase sounds excellent. For heavens sake don't let the thing out! Think garbage truck, think bus, think cars driven at speed by hoons, think a very flat $900.


post #18 of 24
Thread Starter 
Tom you really are too much *makes note not to read Toms posts with mouth full of coffee*

Is it okay to post them on this site?
Would the others mind do you think?
Well I don’t know about that!!! We will have to ask them if they would mind! LMAO! But please remember this is a family site!!!

She is a busy woman, with a number of interests. To get attention I curl up on the lounge, cover my self with an old skin rug and make purring noises. Only then does she realise that she has an extra cat, even if it is an old neutered Tom LOL.
This made me spit coffee!!!!! I think Peter feels the same!! He has now taken to taking pictures of himself (ahem) and putting them on the PC desk top as wall paper for me to find in the mornings LOL. I think he is trying to tell me something.... Just not sure what yet!

Seriously, your latest livestock purchase sounds excellent. For heavens sake don't let the thing out! Think garbage truck, think bus, think cars driven at speed by hoons, think a very flat $900.
I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!! Pete say's the same thing!!! Yikes! I hope that would never happen, I will do my utmost to keep her in, the others are free range if you know what I mean so it's going to be interesting. Luckily we live in a fairly quiet street but I am not taking any chances. She can go walkabout on a harness.

I'll have to get you and Pete to meet!!! You both have a sick sense of humour!!!
post #19 of 24
Bundy - all I can say is follow your heart. You will find a way to make it all work. Giving up your cats would be like giving up your children.
post #20 of 24
Bundy...all I can add is, Follow Your Heart...it will never steer you wrong.
post #21 of 24
Leslie, I'm so sorry I didn't see this earlier. I've been so busy these past few days. But you've gotten such wonderful advice, and had so many people help you think this through! Tough decisions, but hopefully happy ones. You deserve such a wonderful opportunity!

I simply agree with Ady and Carla and Debby and... ... We have two kittens, and we live in an R.V. There is about 210 square feet of indoor space - and there is furniture in here too - LOL! They can run from the front to the back in about two seconds. We've made as much 3D space in here as we can, so they have MUCH more square footage to walk around in here, jump around in here, and sleep around (LOL) in here than we do!!!

Follow your heart, girl. It's a good one! :tounge2:
post #22 of 24
Leslie & Thomas Kat,

Have gone back and reread the posts. Knowing who Thomas Kat is makes it even funnier.

Don't worry Thomas K we all know how Leslie adores ALL her furkids.

Leslie, he's got a great sense of humor, keep him.

But I still don't know what he did to Amelie. I thought Amelie was one of the wee ones. What am I missing?
Blessed Be.
Hugs, Dee
Mom to Jessie, Nikkie, Luckie, Lady, Sammy & Sassy
post #23 of 24
Thread Starter 
Dee he pretended he was rescuing her from the toilet bowel! He took a picture of himself holding her over the bowel and said he was saving her! Amelie is on of Amy's kittens! You can see the whole thing on his post Greetings fellow felines - in the The Cat Lounge forum!
post #24 of 24
I must admit, it was funny reading this after knowing who Tom really is!!! Especially the part where you said he and Pete should meet because they both have a sick sense of humor!! :laughing:
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