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Mother defends obese son's junk food diet - Page 2

post #31 of 49
This story is just so sad, something needs to be done, and the courts are just gonna hafta do it.
post #32 of 49
There was a programme on tv about this last night. The child seemed to be primarily looked after by his grandmother as his mother has mental health problems (depression was mentioned among other things). There was an older sister who was not overweight. The boy was just sat in front of the tv (alone) eating huge portions of junk food. It was very sad as he couldn't even put on his own socks due to his weight. The grandmother seemed to recognise that there was a problem but didn't seem to have a clue what to do about it. The mother didn't seem to care. They both kept saying that he just asked for food and they couldn't not give it to him if he was hungry. When he was talking to his sister he admitted that he ate because he was bored a lot of the time and not hungry.
post #33 of 49
This is just so sad, that poor little boy needs help in his life right now. This is something that is not gonna be cured in a week. It is gonna take a while for this little boy to get healthy.

And he is being picked on because other children are just cruel. And kids can't help it because parents are letting them be mean to others. I always taught mine to treat people the way that they would want to be treated.

I work at a kindergarden/day care and there are lots of children there that are overwieght, not as bad as this little boy, but still overweight. And it is sad, because they are gonna grow up to be overweight adults.

Some of these kids probably weigh as much as I do, and that is sad because some of them are not over 12 years old.
post #34 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by jcat View Post
I just saw mother and son on TV. The mother is pretty overweight, but not morbidly obese.
The boy was eating french fries/chips on buttered bread!
She was on the news again this evening and her lower face was covered in spots so it made me wonder what her diet was like as well.
post #35 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rosiemac View Post
She was on the news again this evening and her lower face was covered in spots so it made me wonder what her diet was like as well.
Probably junk food just like her son

Children learn by example, if they see their parents eating healthy then that is what they will learn.
post #36 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by urbantigers View Post
There was a programme on tv about this last night. The child seemed to be primarily looked after by his grandmother as his mother has mental health problems (depression was mentioned among other things). There was an older sister who was not overweight. The boy was just sat in front of the tv (alone) eating huge portions of junk food. It was very sad as he couldn't even put on his own socks due to his weight. The grandmother seemed to recognise that there was a problem but didn't seem to have a clue what to do about it. The mother didn't seem to care. They both kept saying that he just asked for food and they couldn't not give it to him if he was hungry. When he was talking to his sister he admitted that he ate because he was bored a lot of the time and not hungry.
This boy sounds like he is depressed and needs to go get treatment for it. I know that the family may not know what to do, but a doctor will. There is an underlying issue here that isn't being brought out to light.

By the way, where is the father? In all the stories I only hear about the mother and now the grandmother.
post #37 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by lookingglass View Post
This boy sounds like he is depressed and needs to go get treatment for it. I know that the family may not know what to do, but a doctor will. There is an underlying issue here that isn't being brought out to light.

By the way, where is the father? In all the stories I only hear about the mother and now the grandmother.

Wh knows where the father is?
post #38 of 49
This was on the news last night. I cant believe the woman said every time she tried to change his diet that he would throw a tantrum. I have seen some women more psychotic than the kids! Surely there is some subtle way of changing the food. Maybe she could even go "you either have this salad for dinner, or ill make you go for a 10 mile run" then he wont be able to have junk food..
post #39 of 49
I haven't had time to read everyone's replies unfortunately, because I'm at work but I'd like to add my two cents from the perspective of being a dog trainer (bear with me...)

When your dog (or any dog) acts up, the minute you give in to it is the minute it wins - and by giving in, you reinforce it's behaviour, making it that much harder next time to have it obey (or even listen to) you.

This child knows that by throwing a tantrum and refusing to eat/spitting out food, that he will get what he wants. The mother continually reinforces his behaviour by giving in, and then rewards him by allowing him the food he wants.

The control, and the solution to this problem, starts with her. He is a child, he doesn't know any better, and he will resort to the behaviour and tactics he knows to get what he desires. It is that simple, and if explained to the mother in this way might help her open her eyes and see what she is doing is so very dangerous for her son - not just physically, but emotionally and psychologically as well.

Firstly, all food that is not to be eaten needs to be out of the house. There needs to be NOTHING in that house that that boy is not allowed to have. Removing the temptation sets him up to succeed. Secondly, he gets a meal prepared and he gets 15 minutes to eat it. If he doesn't want it he gets nothing but a glass of water to last until his next meal. At the next meal, the process is repeated. 15 minutes, if he doesn't want to eat, then nothing.

Believe me, no dog will ever willingly starve itself. No child will either. These are the tactics I employ when training a finnicky, picky dog to eat what it's given. They would work just as well with this child. He needs to be conditioned, and when he's hungry enough, he'll eat what he's given. After doing this for a few weeks, treats and rewards can be introducted - eat your dinner, and you can have a healthy dessert.

I know its a bit weird, but I approach a lot of issues in life the way I would approach them from a training perspective. These methods work on humans, too, and I guarantee if that child lived with me he'd be eating better and be cured of his tantrums within three months.

It makes me sad to see someone so inept at understanding the reasons and motivations behind their own child. They both need help.

Ok. Sorry for the rant
post #40 of 49
Plain and simple- this is child abuse! She is neglecting to give him a healthy diet- and by feeding him junk, she's putting him at a high risk for a NUMBER of life threatening illnesses- her lack of concern to make positive changes for him fankly equivilate to child abuse. She obviously does not care about her son if she's letting him kill himself in this way. She needs to stop being a "friend" and giving him everything he wants and start being a parent and setting healthy boundaries. By not providing her child with discipline in this aspect of his life- she's setting him up for failure in all other aspects- not to mention she's cutting his life short by feeding him disease causing foods. She needs to step up to the plate and be a mother! This child is already suffering from her lack of parenting. He needs healthy meals and exercise.
post #41 of 49
Sometimes people do strange things for strange reasons. I have six siblings. We never had junk food growing up, mainly because we couldn't afford it. The youngest, a boy, was always chubby and it was odd because no one else was. Chubby became fat. When I was still in high school, he inadvertently gave away mom's secret. He didn't know it was a secret. I got home from school and wandered into the kitchen looking for a snack. My mother said there wasn't anything, to wait for supper. My brother said, "Yes there is! I just had one!" He jumped up and showed me the stash of goodies in the back of a cabinet underneath pots and pans.

My mother turned her back and snapped, "They're for your daddy's lunch!"

And so I knew why little brother was always fat. She had done that his entire life, bought those types of things and given them to him when no one else was around. Poor kid. Poor man. He is still totally addicted to carbohydrates and has severe health and emotional issues. I suppose mom felt it was a special thing since he was the last child she would have. He surely has paid dearly for his specialness. His teenage years were bad with him turning on her because of all their secrets.
post #42 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by lookingglass View Post
This boy sounds like he is depressed and needs to go get treatment for it. I know that the family may not know what to do, but a doctor will. There is an underlying issue here that isn't being brought out to light.

By the way, where is the father? In all the stories I only hear about the mother and now the grandmother.

I don't know what a 8 year old would be depressed about. He is a child, children don't have to be depressed about anything, I think he needs help of some kind, but I don't have any idea about depression. I just have never seen depression in 8 year olds. And I work at a day care so I see children this age all the time.
post #43 of 49
well, obviously this is not an ideal home life, there seems to be no father figure in sight, a mentally ill mother, a grandmother who is overwhelmed, the child is teased and tormented all the time.... seems plenty to be depressed about to me. the child almost needs to go to a "detox center" sort of thing, he's not just going to be able to lose weight no his own, he needs professional help
post #44 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by LSULOVER View Post
I don't know what a 8 year old would be depressed about. He is a child, children don't have to be depressed about anything, I think he needs help of some kind, but I don't have any idea about depression. I just have never seen depression in 8 year olds. And I work at a day care so I see children this age all the time.
Depression is such an odd thing. Yes a child that young can have depression. Depression is not just something adults can. Depression is a chemical imbalance that anyone can get. Here is some info:


http://www.nami.org/Content/ContentG...Depression.htm

http://www.wingofmadness.com/articles/children.htm

http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/emo...epression.html
from this last link:
Quote:
Each year it affects 17 million people of all age groups, races, and economic backgrounds. As many as 1 in every 33 children may have depression; in teens, that number may be as high as 1 in 8.
One symptom of depression in children:
Change in appetite (either increase or decrease)
post #45 of 49
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by KitEKats4Eva! View Post
I haven't had time to read everyone's replies unfortunately, because I'm at work but I'd like to add my two cents from the perspective of being a dog trainer (bear with me...)

When your dog (or any dog) acts up, the minute you give in to it is the minute it wins - and by giving in, you reinforce it's behaviour, making it that much harder next time to have it obey (or even listen to) you.

This child knows that by throwing a tantrum and refusing to eat/spitting out food, that he will get what he wants. The mother continually reinforces his behaviour by giving in, and then rewards him by allowing him the food he wants.

The control, and the solution to this problem, starts with her. He is a child, he doesn't know any better, and he will resort to the behaviour and tactics he knows to get what he desires. It is that simple, and if explained to the mother in this way might help her open her eyes and see what she is doing is so very dangerous for her son - not just physically, but emotionally and psychologically as well.

Firstly, all food that is not to be eaten needs to be out of the house. There needs to be NOTHING in that house that that boy is not allowed to have. Removing the temptation sets him up to succeed. Secondly, he gets a meal prepared and he gets 15 minutes to eat it. If he doesn't want it he gets nothing but a glass of water to last until his next meal. At the next meal, the process is repeated. 15 minutes, if he doesn't want to eat, then nothing.

Believe me, no dog will ever willingly starve itself. No child will either. These are the tactics I employ when training a finnicky, picky dog to eat what it's given. They would work just as well with this child. He needs to be conditioned, and when he's hungry enough, he'll eat what he's given. After doing this for a few weeks, treats and rewards can be introducted - eat your dinner, and you can have a healthy dessert.

I know its a bit weird, but I approach a lot of issues in life the way I would approach them from a training perspective. These methods work on humans, too, and I guarantee if that child lived with me he'd be eating better and be cured of his tantrums within three months.

It makes me sad to see someone so inept at understanding the reasons and motivations behind their own child. They both need help.

Ok. Sorry for the rant

To be honest, it sort of reminds me of the South Park episode when Cartman's mom brought in the NG's Dog Whisperer and he used k-9 domination to get Cartman to be submissive.

Really was quite funny, even if you're not a South Park fan.
post #46 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by KitEKats4Eva! View Post
I haven't had time to read everyone's replies unfortunately, because I'm at work but I'd like to add my two cents from the perspective of being a dog trainer (bear with me...)

When your dog (or any dog) acts up, the minute you give in to it is the minute it wins - and by giving in, you reinforce it's behaviour, making it that much harder next time to have it obey (or even listen to) you.

This child knows that by throwing a tantrum and refusing to eat/spitting out food, that he will get what he wants. The mother continually reinforces his behaviour by giving in, and then rewards him by allowing him the food he wants.

The control, and the solution to this problem, starts with her. He is a child, he doesn't know any better, and he will resort to the behaviour and tactics he knows to get what he desires. It is that simple, and if explained to the mother in this way might help her open her eyes and see what she is doing is so very dangerous for her son - not just physically, but emotionally and psychologically as well.

Firstly, all food that is not to be eaten needs to be out of the house. There needs to be NOTHING in that house that that boy is not allowed to have. Removing the temptation sets him up to succeed. Secondly, he gets a meal prepared and he gets 15 minutes to eat it. If he doesn't want it he gets nothing but a glass of water to last until his next meal. At the next meal, the process is repeated. 15 minutes, if he doesn't want to eat, then nothing.

Believe me, no dog will ever willingly starve itself. No child will either. These are the tactics I employ when training a finnicky, picky dog to eat what it's given. They would work just as well with this child. He needs to be conditioned, and when he's hungry enough, he'll eat what he's given. After doing this for a few weeks, treats and rewards can be introducted - eat your dinner, and you can have a healthy dessert.

I know its a bit weird, but I approach a lot of issues in life the way I would approach them from a training perspective. These methods work on humans, too, and I guarantee if that child lived with me he'd be eating better and be cured of his tantrums within three months.

It makes me sad to see someone so inept at understanding the reasons and motivations behind their own child. They both need help.

Ok. Sorry for the rant
I agree!
post #47 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by katiemae1277 View Post
well, obviously this is not an ideal home life, there seems to be no father figure in sight, a mentally ill mother, a grandmother who is overwhelmed, the child is teased and tormented all the time.... seems plenty to be depressed about to me. the child almost needs to go to a "detox center" sort of thing, he's not just going to be able to lose weight no his own, he needs professional help
I agree, I think the whole family needs professional help.
post #48 of 49
That whole situation is just sad - and what a terrible mother! As someone already mentioned, lead by example.

What kind of mother would sit back and watch her child do this to himself?
post #49 of 49
I read the article that accompanied the picture posted a couple of pages ago. It said that the mother and father are separated, and she raises him alone. It also said that when he was a baby she gave him a bottle every hour, because he `cried from hunger all the time'. Clearly that is where the problem started.

There is no way he would have been always crying from hunger - she just assumed that he was because babies cry, she may have been depressed at the time as well, and she used the bottle to comfort him, and stop him crying. At such a young age, she was already teaching him to turn to food for comfort. Now, she says he pesters them all night about food and snacks - and again, she thinks it's because he's hungry.

That child only knows food as an answer. An answer to boredom, mostly, but an answer to sadness, anger, happiness - everything. He medicates with food, he has a deep emotional attachment to food, his whole life has revolved around it, he seeks comfort from it, and he throws tantrums when he can't have it. There is NO WAY that with the amount of food that he consumes that he could actually ever really be genuinely hungry, and that's the first thing that needs to be explained to his mother.

But she's so clueless, so hopeless, really, that it's only counselling and extended education for her that is going to help in this situation. And unfortunately, because of her own issues with depression and her lack of coping skills, until she is healed there is no way she'll be able to heal her son.

They need separating, I believe, and individual help. She needs help as much, if not more, than he does. Because she is the author of all of his problems.

Fortunately, I think that in the light of the media and public scrutiny, this family will actually get the help they need. I just feel sorry for all the other families out there who go unnoticed, with the same problems, because I'm sure there are plenty.

You know, I wouldn't be surprised if Jamie Oliver ended up getting involved with this child and his mother - after all, that's his fight isn't it? Decent nutrition for children? That would be wonderful, if he did. Often celebrities can have a bearing where others can't, and it would be a great way to capture the mother's attention.
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