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Calling all PetOwners!

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
I got this at work today and I just cracked up! Can anyone else relate to this??

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height:

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years- canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To all Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain about our pets:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daugther who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't drink or smoke
8. Don't have to buy the lastest fashion
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

I can relate to all of these...and never heard of anything more true!
post #2 of 5
I have seen that before, I thought it was very funny, and yes I can relate to that.

post #3 of 5
I certainly think cats are easier to train than kids would be..and you can't even really train a cat!!

Hmmm, can you tell I don't want kids?
post #4 of 5
Originally Posted by Duchess15 View Post
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
Do you suppose it's rude of me to actually post this in my place? I have a couple of friends who need the tip...
post #5 of 5
I have seen this before and I wanted to post it and never got around to it and then I forgot all about it I am so happy some one else has posted this I thought it was so cute and funny when I seen that...i seen it a while ago tho Thanx for sharing this with everyone
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