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I feel like a tool

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 
I just found out that my ex-b.f. of two years, whom I broke up with not even two months ago, is "dating" someone else.

Now first of all, I realize that I'm the one who broke up with him. It wasn't an easy decision. And second, I know it's his life and I can't control it.

The thing that bothers me the most is he has seemed so upset and heartbroken this whole time, and I've been treating our post-breakup friendship with kid gloves, because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. But he's been seeing this girl for almost a month now. This entire time I've been feeling terrible that I hurt him, and always wanted to make sure he was ok. Apparently he's more than ok.

And by "dating" someone else, I mean "friends with benefits". Many benefits, if you get my drift.

Is this just the way that guys choose to move on? Might I mention she looks kind of like me...

I know I shouldn't but I feel absolutely horrible. Our mutual friends knew about this for weeks and no one said anything. I only found out because he's my flickr contact and when I went to upload some pictures their photo was just staring right at me. There's a whole set of them hiking and hugging, her burying her head into his neck, blah blah. I got details when I asked my friend.

I feel like such a fool.
post #2 of 9
that sucks. don't feel like a fool, rise above it, and never mention it again to anyone, especially your so-called friend that never mentioned it to you. I would certainly put the distance on that one, not obviously, but just drift apart. People have short memories, the fact that you didn;t know about it will be forgotten by everyone but you.
move on.
post #3 of 9
Don't feel stupid, it happens to alot of people. It's a little different with me as i hate my ex and dont care if he is alone or with someone (though i doubt anyone could stand him) i met Tristan 3 days after my ex dumped me, just for moral support (i knew him online for a year or more) and then things just developed, and i ended up with him two weeks after my last relationship. The only thing he has in common with the ex is facial hair and a few tv shows but they are complete opposites thankfully. And ive been with him almost 18 months now. I sometimes wish id met Tristan first so i wouldnt have to keep getting angry about the ex. The best thing to do is just have no contact with them at all if it was a sour ending and try to move on and realise you are happier without them.
post #4 of 9
Speaking only for myself...the hubby & I have been through almost everything in our 20some years together and although it was soooo awful sometimes...I'm glad its over and now I can appreciate what we have.

Unfortunately sometimes you have to go through 'bad' stuff or bad people to get to the good stuff and good people. Just move passed it dear and learn from it and be better because of it! You make mistakes, you get up, brush yourself off and carry on...don't wallow in it because you'll only be making yourself miserable...you've got to let it go and move on with your own life!

Be happy

Good luck to you sweets...
Hilda >^..^<
post #5 of 9
with benefits for guys is just that
heck we may not even like her that much.
post #6 of 9
He's almost certainly 'on the rebound' if it's that short a time since you broke up. Don't take it personally.
post #7 of 9
Originally Posted by theimp98 View Post
with benefits for guys is just that
heck we may not even like her that much.

Imp...I'm a little confused here...did you mean ''he'' may not even like her that much.

Hilda >^..^<
post #8 of 9
Yep, for some guys, hmm how to put, on a family site.
sex is just sex. has nothing to do with they like her or love etc.
or like my one friend does he always has a back up in case he breaks up with his gf at the time.
post #9 of 9
Yeah, he's rebounding big time.

Don't let it bug you. Just remember why you broke up in the first place, and try to distract yourself from what he's up to.
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