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If she don't stop callin!!! Help!!!

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 
Does anyone else have someone that calls incessantly if you don't answer the phone? I'm getting really irritated!

One of my friends wants to come down to my house today because I have the day off. Well I might have the day off but I'm rather busy with work for work that I don't have time to do at work. I'm chillin in my pj's listening to music, doing laundry, and actually accomplishing something. But she hasn't stopped calling! And I haven't answered! The more she calls, the more annoyed I get. I'm truly enjoying the quiet solitude. I'm thinking of calling her and just saying today is not a good day. But I don't feel like coming up with some explanation ya know? Or listening to the whining, deep sighs, etc. I love her I do, but not today! It's my day off and I guess I'm just not feeling sociable. I need my solitude every now and then.

Does incessant calling bother anyone else or is it just me??? I'm not talking telemarketers, I'm talking people. She left a durn message on my answering machine and called my cell a few times too so sheesh! Maybe I'll just text her....whatcha think??? Or am I just being rude and trying to find a cop-out (sp?)??? I should let her know so she can try to find something else to do...I know she's lonely, but ahhh!
post #2 of 19
OMG-yes!! I wonder if you and I have the same *friend* LOL..Theres a girl which, yes, I like her, but man she gets sooooooooo annoying!! And one other thing shes good about, is if we go out to eat, or anything, she conveinently(sp) never has any $$$$!! Like I said, shes a sweetie and all, but man she gets so annoying!! She calls all the time, and lets it ring and ring and ring(never gives up,lol)


UGGHH......I can totally sympathize with you!!
post #3 of 19
I just shut off my ringers and turn down the volume on my answering machine when I don't want to be bothered by anyone - and then I'm not bothered!
post #4 of 19
I had a friend like that, she called my cell phone four times in two minutes while I was at work. Never left a message but I know who it was.(thank you caller id)
I just learned to ignore the calls and call her back when I knew she was busy doing other things so I didn't have to deal with the jabbering. I love her to death but she is very nosey and since she is a stay at home mom, it's like she has nothing better to do then call everyday all the time. (her kids are in school so I think she is bored) She doesn't have my home phone number thankfully or I'd never get a minutes peace. She soon learned to stop calling, that I'd call her when I had time to. It's mean but it works.
post #5 of 19
I hate it when people do that! My mom has a friend that will call and let the phone ring forever then hang up and call again a million times. Hello! No one is answering for a reason. My brother has a couple friends that do that too and now I don't have to listen to it on the home phone I have to listen to his annoying ring tones on his cell phone which makes it 10 times more annoying.
post #6 of 19
Thread Starter 
Well I called her back, explained what I was doing and chatted for about a half hour. That seemed to be satisfactory. She's still comming down to visit with her step-sisters since one just had a birthday and she has a gift. So I told her that if I get enough done later I'll call her. It went much easier than in past times!!
post #7 of 19
One of my friends used to do this. She would call my cell phone over and over. I told her that when I at work I leave my cell phone off so she would have to wait until I got home to talk. She would not leave messages either so I also said that if something is that urgent she should leave me a message so that I knew why she needed to talk to me right away. None of my friends have my work # because I do not chat on the phone when I am at work unless it is an emergency. This friend who used to call me would also sometimes call my hubby's phone repeatedly if she could not reach me. I told her that she was bothering him and that it needed to stop immediately.

My friend used to get extremely emotional any time anything went wrong and would call all her friends over and over like that. I finally sat her down and said if she was that upset with her life then perhaps she should seek to learn how to control her emotions and deal with life. She was mad at me initially but she did get help and she has learned how to handle the things that would cause her to call her friends over and over.
post #8 of 19
Ooooo...I will drop friendships if people do that to me.

The sales people would do that to me at the last job I had...it was only because they wanted to get me on the phone to help their customer *ahem* I do not support customers.

Then one girl I use to know well...she had issues, lets just say that. Anyways one day she apparently needed to get a hold of me while I was at work (and I was too busy at that job to take personal phone calls). Anyhoo she was to the point of looking up where I work and calling it.

I told her to never ever call me again. At one point she called 15 times in an hour.
post #9 of 19
Once upon a time I had a similar problem, only it was with wrong numbers. I'd get wrong numbers at any hour of day or night, and usually it was very rough-sounding, tough people calling. I ended up having to cut the ringer off and waiting to see if the caller would leave a message. If it was someone I knew, I'd pick up the phone. If not, well, I hit "Delete message" a lot. But it beat getting these weird calls in the middle of the night.
post #10 of 19
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by foxfire View Post
Once upon a time I had a similar problem, only it was with wrong numbers. I'd get wrong numbers at any hour of day or night, and usually it was very rough-sounding, tough people calling. I ended up having to cut the ringer off and waiting to see if the caller would leave a message. If it was someone I knew, I'd pick up the phone. If not, well, I hit "Delete message" a lot. But it beat getting these weird calls in the middle of the night.
Things like that annoy me too. Have people no telephone etiquette??
post #11 of 19
My mum tends to call repeatedly and fills up my answering machine with endless messages "you're obviously not in... I'll call again later.." rather than just leaving one message and waiting for me to call her back when I get in. It does annoy me a bit but as she's my mother and she's quite elderly I humour her! She just doesn't grasp that if I'm out the first time she rings there's a good chance I may actually be out for the whole afternoon or evening
post #12 of 19
My mom
post #13 of 19
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by urbantigers View Post
My mum tends to call repeatedly and fills up my answering machine with endless messages "you're obviously not in... I'll call again later.." rather than just leaving one message and waiting for me to call her back when I get in. It does annoy me a bit but as she's my mother and she's quite elderly I humour her! She just doesn't grasp that if I'm out the first time she rings there's a good chance I may actually be out for the whole afternoon or evening
Reminds me of how my Grandmother used to leave messages. They were like letters, litterally! They started with "Dear X & Y" and ended with "Love Gram!" She really dislikes the thing. That and caller ID. She won't even use theirs too much.
post #14 of 19
My mother will let the phone ring 15-20 times, then call back every ten minutes if we don't pick up. We don't have an answering machine, you can imagine why!

On more than one occasion, she has run the battery down in our phone because we didn't leave it on the recharge dock that day. Poor kitties, with the telephone ringing all day.

And, (I've posted this before but it's so ridiculous) when she couldn't reach me one evening, she called the local police and the federal police. I had to explain to them all why my mother was wasting everyone's time.

Cheers, from
SwampWitch
post #15 of 19
I just posted about this also in the PL..
I have a friend that I can tell "I'll call you back" and 5-15 mins later, she'll call me back!


It's VERY annoying!
post #16 of 19
yup i used to have a friend who did that got far to annoying. no longer my friend.
post #17 of 19
Thank god for caller ID is all I can say.
If a friend respects you, they will trust that you will be there for them when you have time. If they keep nagging at you, they are being selfish and totally inconsiderate of your life. Especially, if they call your house over and over again, day after day.
Some people's problems are just too hard to handle and it's unfair if they try to plague you all the time with their loneliness. Especially, when there is not much you can do for them except act as a sounding board.
Friends are very dear to have, but when they start trying to monopolize time you could be spending on yourself, your family or other friends who are more give and take or understanding, it's time to pull the plug.
Some people just don't respect other's lives and the time they can give. It's worth being aware of this, as you don't want to be dragged down by another's anxiety. That's what therapists are for! And a therapist has the ability to be totally objective, which a friend simply can't be.
It's my feeling that women suffer this dilemma a lot more than men. Whenever I have an overly needy friend complaint my boyfriend or male friends can't understand why I can't simply tell them to lay off. It's never that easy. A lot of guilt is involved and pressure. I think women both feel they should be there for others and also have pressure from family and friends that as women it's their duty to be there.
It's hard to set one's boundries, but it's important for one's well being.
Good luck!
post #18 of 19
i turn off my phone i have vaonage and my calls can be forwarded to my email addy
post #19 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by foxfire View Post
Once upon a time I had a similar problem, only it was with wrong numbers. I'd get wrong numbers at any hour of day or night, and usually it was very rough-sounding, tough people calling. I ended up having to cut the ringer off and waiting to see if the caller would leave a message. If it was someone I knew, I'd pick up the phone. If not, well, I hit "Delete message" a lot. But it beat getting these weird calls in the middle of the night.
I had that problem and I kept telling these people they had the wrong number so I started to just ignore the phone.

Early in my career, my desk was in a room with 6 other people in a different department with a different boss. My hours were a little later than theirs. Right after the last one would leave, their phones would ring to voice mail, one-by-one, then they would ring 5-10 times with a priority ring (by-passing voice mail), one-by-one, then my phone would ring to voice mail and then with priority ring. I learned really well on how to ignore ringing phones as all I could say to the guy is that none of his people were there and he knew darn well that I couldn't help him. Now I find I'm really impatient with people who have to answer their phones (esp cell phones) even when they are talking to me.
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