Feral setback

chowchow

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Our feral, Blackie, has made quite a bit of progress since we took him into our home in September 2006 and has become more and more comfortable. Last week I was crouched in front of a kitchen cabinet with the door open. He became curious and wanted to sniff it out so he came right next to me, which was really something. Then I took that opportunity to pet him once for the first time. He looked at me, backed away and hissed!! Since that day last week he hasn't been wanting to play with me, even though I played with him every single day (I used either a cat dancer or a long stick with a string and a ribbon which he loved to chase). I so regret petting him!!! Any words of advice?
 

pee-cleaner

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Just hang in there! I tamed a feral in 2005 and used food treats to win him over. I'd use kibble and toss a piece out to him and he'd eat it. The next one wouldn't be thrown quite so far. The next a little closer, etc. Finally, I got him where he was eating out of the bowl between my feet as I sat on a chair. I started out just brushing my hand lightly on him--lightning fast and then remove. NEVER did eye contact. Slowly I gave him more and more contact until the wonderful day when he actually jumped into my lap. It's been all good ever since. BTW--that whole process took a couple of months with much hissing and showing of teeth and setbacks along the way!

Cally
 

trouts mom

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I would say just give him all the space he needs. It will take alot of time, try not to be impatient. I would have pet him too
It would be hard not too!
 
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chowchow

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Hi Cally,

Thanks for replying! It only took your feral a couple of months to warm up to you? You're lucky!! I've heard that it can take 6 months to a year for ferals! I've tried putting cat treats on the palm of my hand a long time ago -- Blackie came, sniffed it and backed away even though he loved those treats, and a couple of other times he actually swatted at my hand! One time he swatted my husband's hand who was trying to do the same thing and actually made his hand bleed! We never tried to give him treats on our hands ever again.

We'll have to get better at not giving him any eye contact -- very hard to do cuz we love looking at him!! He's a long-haired black cat, absolutely magnificent looking.
 
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chowchow

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Hi Troutsmom,

I felt really dumb about petting him, especially after re-reading an old article today I saved months ago -- it said "As much as you are itching to pet her, don't. Let her make that first move toward you either by bumping your leg, arm or hand." I had forgotten that rule! Thanks for letting me know that you would have petted him too, it made me feel a bit better.
 

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Food is a recurring theme with any success I've had with ferals.

80% of the time, the first stroke I'm able to take is while they are eating, but only on the back and from behind. Reaching over or touching their head is usually out of the question for awhile.

I have hand fed really smelly wet cat food, like Fancy Feast. It's gross, but it has helped me. They do have the tendency to (accidentally) bite the first few times, though, much like baby kittens do when hand fed. I usually pull my hand away slowly before the clump of food is gone...so there's not a chance to bite that way.

I just recently had one smack my hand, like you mentioned Blackie doing. I was actually encouraged when this kitty did that to me...although she didn't use her claws.


The setback is discouraging, but it's not permanent. It may take a long time, but I think he'll come around. It's the most rewarding experience when they do.
 
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chowchow

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Hi Beandip,

I'm curious why you'd feel encouraged when your cat swiped you? I took it as a sign of Blackie feeling threatened; that he was rejecting my hand. We wouldn't be able to stroke him while he's eating cuz he'd tense up if we were to go towards him, even if we moved very slowly.
 

beandip

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Originally Posted by chowchow

Hi Beandip,

I'm curious why you'd feel encouraged when your cat swiped you? I took it as a sign of Blackie feeling threatened; that he was rejecting my hand. We wouldn't be able to stroke him while he's eating cuz he'd tense up if we were to go towards him, even if we moved very slowly.
Only because she had to get close enough to do that. She did it in more of a semi-playful way...like "let's see if I can touch that thing that the food comes from and live through it". I wasn't approaching her at the time. I was putting food down and she approached me to do that (very much out of character for her). So yes, your situation was different..but I thought it was interesting because I've worked with a few ferals and never had one slap my hand until then
She's done it a few more times since then. She's gotten to a point where she lingers 3-4 feet away doing what Robin Williams calls the 'love the kitty' thing. You know where they walk from side to side looking for something to brush up against (maybe my leg or hand, someday)


Anyway, it will take time. I didn't mean that it was easy for me. I just meant that after many months of patience some of my best 'breakthrough' moments had to do with food and/or feeding time. Sorry if I wasn't clear. Sometimes I type faster than I think.
 
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chowchow

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Hi Beandip,

Blackie doesn't seem to be completely food-motivated. One time my husband was eating some fried chicken and Blackie came out of hiding and sat 4 feet away, just looking at him. That was very unexpected. So of course my husband offered some chicken to him but he just sat there and didn't go for it. I wish food was an easy solution to win their trust.
 

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To clarify the timeframe on my "feral to fabulous" transformation, I'd actually been feeding Felix since January 2005 when I trapped and neutered him. I'd gotten to the point of watching him thru the glass door as he ate on the porch and finally when it became warmer in late April, I began the intensive taming program. So, all in all, it took at least 6 mos. It took another 5 mos after that to get him into the house. Now he's the snuggliest cat ever--a real softie. Felix is a magnificent looking tuxedo kitty--plushest fur I've ever seen (or touched!) :p

Cally
 

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chowchow,
My Pru is not food motivated at all. She keeps her distance and will not come for a treat, ever. She give me a look that says "oh yeah, like I'm going to fall for that, I'd rather starve."
Blackie will just take time to warm up, once he feels safe again. Pru is interacting with us more every day, but it is all on her terms. If I forget myself and give a rub and advance to a cuddle, I don't see her for a LONG time. It's hard to remember to play by their rules.
I read on here somewhere, "with ferals, one step forward and two back", that sums it up well.
~Rhonda
 

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With ferals it always seems to be 2 steps forward and 1 step backward. Don't fret, just keep doing what you were doing and wait for him next time.

The biggest gain that I've ever had with ferals is through their observation of my socialized cats. If they have a friend with one of your social cats, and he sees that cat loving on you, eventually they will try to do the same. I've been working on Lucky for a couple of years now (he goes in and out), and he came up to me in the bathroom the other night and did the full body rub against my legs while letting me pet him. He learned that from the other cats.

And I know you've read this here also: they work on their own time clock. Never set any expectations for them and they will come around when they are good and ready. Appreciate the small gains when you get them, and don't fret the setbacks - you'll go grey young.
 
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chowchow

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Hi Cally,

Thanks for sharing your success story, I need to hear as many success stories as possible, especially when I'm feeling bummed out about what I did.
 
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chowchow

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Hi Rhonda,

Yes, it's soooooo hard to play by their rules! Ferals seem to be harder to deal with than human children!
 

momofmany

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Originally Posted by chowchow

I need to hear as many success stories as possible, especially when I'm feeling bummed out about what I did.
My entire household is a feral success story! Ask all 12 of them. Granted, Lucky is taking a little longer than some but I don't push him. Ferals simply teach you humility and patience. You are doing fine!!!!
 
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chowchow

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Hi Momofmany,

Too late, I have a head full of gray hair and I'm not even 45! Anyway, I've tried petting our neighbor's cats outside when Blackie's at the window watching, but that only happened twice. What do you think if I brought home a plush cat toy and petted it while cradling it right in front of him, think it'll have any effect?

And we've considered adopting a kitten but I've read here that sometimes that may elicit hostility from the older cat (Blackie is 3-1/2 years old).
 

momofmany

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Interacting with a cat that is not a friend of Blackie's won't do you any good. He has to see his buddy interacting with you and the outside cat is probably a threat to him.

Sorry, I assumed that since you took on a feral, that you already had another cat (my bad). Most people take on ferals as a second or third cat!

I don't think there is any difference in taking in a kitten with a socialized cat or a feral cat. Some older cats, regardless of their disposition just don't appreciate the antics of a youngster. I don't know your situation and don't know if you can pull it off, but if you can take in a kitten, why not 2 littermates? Kittens will play with each other and not threaten the oldster in the house. Their antics ultimately draw in the older cat eventually because frankly, cats are full of fun and mischief.
 
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chowchow

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Hi Momofmany,

I don't know if I can handle 3 cats! As much as I love cats, I actually only want one at a time, but am willing to get a second one for the sake of the first cat. But because Blackie isn't all that comfortable living with us yet, I just don't know if getting a kitten is a good idea at this point.

What is the range of time it took for your 12 ferals to let you pet them? Do they let you carry them? Do they sleep with you? I'm sure each one is different.
 

momofmany

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The younger you start socializing them, usually the quicker the turnaround. A couple of them simply curled up with me the minute I brought them in the house (they were very young). Once past about 3 months they take a lot more time and patience. The majority of my cats settled down within the first few months. Some of them still hide from strangers but most you could not tell that they were all born feral. 11 out of 12 sleep with me.

Eightball, at age 10 is my hard case - rescued at 6 weeks old, he just retained the personality of a feral cat, but I can't say that it just isn't in his nature to be shy. He showed his face to a "stranger" for the first time a few months ago. This stranger has been friends to us for Eightball's entire life and he never saw anything but his butt running away from him until then. His brother was the same way until we lost him to heart disease when he was 9. That was clearly a genetic shyness.

I didn't try to really work hard with Lucky until this last spring. He was pretty feral and I thought he would just live in the outside feral colony. We moved last spring (Lucky was 3), and before that he never really came inside (just brief visits). During the move I kept him in the house for about a month and now he's in and out of the house all day long and comes in to sleep at night. I've made huge strides with him in the last year. I can pick him up (carefully), pet him, brush him (he gets knots) and we talk to each other a lot. His favorite sleeping spot is on the cat tree behind the sofa where he is about a foot away from our heads. He is still very cautious around me and will bolt if I make the sudden movement. He doesn't do well with strangers but tolerates my husband (who pet him for the first time last month). What helps me with Lucky is his buddy Bob, who also comes in and out. Even when they are outside, Bob jumps on the deck railing for pets so Lucky has started to do that. Bob comes inside so Lucky wants to come inside. Bob scratches the cat trees so Lucky does that. Bob jumps in my lap and Lucky has the look like he wants to, but isn't quite ready for that one yet. I'm just giving it time.

Not that you need another cat, Blackie will come around in his own time, but sometimes they do help.

(btw, Eightball's mom was Blackie also)
 
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chowchow

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Wow, 11 out of 12 sleep with you, that's so awesome!! Did you have to avoid eye contact with each of them before they ever let you pet them?
 
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