This is, as I'm sure all of them are on this forum, a sad tale. I'm sure it's particularly more upsetting to me than anyone else, perhaps with the exception of my domestic short hair, Noel.
I know there's a forum for other animals in the house, but since this directly pertains to Tavi's death, I'm going to tell the tale here, and how Tavi came to be jerked suddenly from our midst.
About two years ago, our family was going through a period when we were dealing with the loss of two of our aunts, who were both dying of lung cancer. They died within a few months of each other. At this time, we lost our little ghost kitty, GypsyMoth, to some unknown health illness after spending a fortune at the vet, she finally had to be put down. This left us with Noel, and a rescue/foster, Asha. Asha had been here for awhile but never did fit in and finally went to her new home, where she's been happy ever since.
Enter Shere Khan and Bagheera. Since we were particularly overloaded with loss, I decided to put a deposit on one cute Bengal kitten that my sister had seen and fallen in love with on a breeder's website. I paid for him in secret, and only finally told my nephew the day we went to pick him up. We showed up at my sister's office, and called her and said come downstairs (and she about fainted). So, Khan joined our family. We established a good relationship with the breeder. A few weeks later, we added Bagheera (the Mau).
The next month, my second aunt died, and our very old dog, Boonehaven (boonie) was one paw in the dirt, poor guy. My sister saw an ad on craigslist for a Great Dane, for a small donation. She asked my nephew and I what we thought about it, and I said, I wouldn't mind getting another dog. The ad said, small training issues, unable to keep her because we're unable to walk her and she pulls on the leash. Small donation to help with rescue work of other animals. We called, made an appointment and went to see the dog. We got along with her (the dog) well, asked how much the donation was... to find out the woman wanted $400 for an unpapered dog, with vet records that ended up never being produced, and no history. Given the dog's state, and the fact that my nephew and sister had already fallen in love with her, we ended up taking the dog home. The woman said, she's great with kids (mine sleeps on her), great with cats (ours walk all over her), great with people (loves everybody), and is great with other dogs. Her issues are she tears apart her stuffed animals, and she's a bit possesive about her food, but that's the only thing. The woman blatantly lied about this dog.
We got the dog home. We ended up naming her Elisa. She was a clown, much like Scooby Doo. Several weeks later (and a bit off the timeline) Boone ended up being put down due to his rapid decline in health. But back to the story. She (Elisa) snapped at one of our cats, and was showing some aggression. My dsh, Noel, who is the "moderator" of the house, and has long been established as the matriarch, took about two days before she chased the dog down, and established exactly who the alpha in the house was. The problem seemed to be fixing itself, but I still worried about them. I monitored the dog while she ate, and when she was doing anything that I thought might be an issue.. I was informed by my family that I was overreacting, and that I just hated the dog. I was informed that indeed, she was not *my* dog, and I had absolutely no control over her. I was only being this way because I didn't have any control and I simply a control freak.
The dog continued to snap at the other cats occasionally, and I was petrified. We started employing Ceaser's methods of getting her to submit. She was always out to be the alpha and no matter how much work, we were unable to remove her from that position in her mind. She was exceptionally strong willed (and it didn't help that nephew and sister helped to keep that established in her head). The issue seemed to calm down, and the dog was making progress. Slowly, a lot of her issues were resolved.
After she snapped at my son, who doesn't live with us, and nailed him in his face, I wanted to get rid of the dog. To me, at this point, my relationship with the adopted parents of my son, and my son was in jeopardy. My sister and nephew refused. "She's got issues, I'm positive she didn't intend to bite him, she's getting better, etc." They flat out refused, and completely overrode me again. Fortunately, the adoptive parents didn't flip out, and I still get visitation and my son isn't afraid of dogs or more seriously traumatized by the entire event.
Shortly thereafter, the Bengal breeder called me and told me that she had a male that had come back to her for inappropriate pottying. We told her we'd attempt to rehabilitate him for her since she was unable to work with him properly, and after several months, and tons of research, and talking to behaviorists, we established that it was marking behavior. And he was not getting along with the other cats, in addition to marking, so the breeder said bring him back, I'll keep him here, and I'd actually like to show him since he's show quality. (That's the short version of his story.) When we got him back there, she said, you know, I have this little girl. Her coat is flawed. I can't sell her, and I don't have space to keep her. I don't want to advertise her as free, because I don't want someone to take her and try to breed her, and you just never know what might happen. Would you be interested? And, of course, once we saw her, we fell in love. Enter Rikki Tikki Tavi.
Tavi very quickly became the household kitty favorite. She had so much personality the house just bursted with it. I used to come home every night and laugh and laugh and laugh at her antics. Hours and hours of playing and amusing herself with whatever little bit of something or other held her fascination for that moment. We had to put *everything* up, because she was a thief and a packrat. She wouldn't get up on a table, but she'd stretch her little self up, parascope her neck just like the mongoose she was named for, and spy whatever it was that she wanted, and swipe it, play with it, and eventually packrat it into one of her hoardes. She's got several around here that I still havent' had the heart to open up and retrieve all the stuff from. Every morning, it was a ritual now, she'd jump up on my bed at 7:15, and wake me up. She was starting to nip a little, and she was getting very possesive of me. She was definitely my cat, even though she spent time with everyone. One of her very unique traits was that she'd "click" when you played with her. If you've ever seen the movie "Signs", she sounded like the aliens that came over the walkie-talkies. That very same clicking noise. She was such a unique little girl. She and Noel were so close. They were always together.
Anyway, one of her things was she had a taste for dog food. I don't know why. Bagheera did too. One day, I was here by myself.. nephew at work and sister was at a doctor's appointment..and I'd just fed Elisa. I was monitoring her, as I always did for fear that my cats would come to harm, but I had my back turned because I was washing the cat dishes in the sink. I was still watching the dog and the entrances to the kitchen, mostly the entrances, because I'd made sure that all the kitties were out of the room.
I saw Tavi come in, and she simply walked past the dog.. and I just sensed that something was going to happen, so I turned around. Just that quick, Elisa turned on her, and started to chase her across the kitchen. Tavi's little feet couldn't get any purchase on the tile floor, and thankfully, neither could Elisa's. I grabbed Elisa's collar, but given her zigzag pattern (following Tavi's slipping trail across the floor), she pulled away from me. I tried again, and missed her collar. Finally, I just tackled her. The dog was *not* in her head. Tavi escaped out the kitchen door, as Elisa was pinned to the ground, still struggling to get at Tavi, with me on top of her (which, I'm sure, triggered memories of her sexual abuse that the vet said she'd suffered, given that I was tackling her from behind). She turned and chomped my arm three or four times, fortunately didn't break through the sweatshirt, and then nailed my hand twice. It took Noel, who had been unable until this point to reach Elisa given the dimensions of the house and where we were, zipping around to the other side of this door and running up to Elisa and whapping her about 10 times to snap Elisa back to her senses, who immediately cowered, probably partially due to the fact that I was screaming at her, I admit.
I put the dog on the deck, closed the door and called my sister. I was told that I was exaggerating, as my hand was laid open, bleeding, and that she wasn't really chasing the cat across the house with the intent to hurt her. It wasn't said, but the implication was I did something to the dog that made the dog snap and bite me. She went to the store and got me bandages, and no matter how much I screamed and protested and stomped my feet, the dog stayed. Every time I'd bring any of it up, I was just dismissed as not knowing what I was talking about, and told this in a completely condescending tone. I kept saying that she was going to kill one of my cats. That, apparently, was a ridiculous thought. I harbored the idea of calling the pound and having her taken away, but I knew she'd be put down and I couldn't bear the thought of having that done to her. For all of her faults, it wasn't the dog who made herself that way. It was her previous owners. And honestly, it's a good thing they moved.. I probably would have been in jail by now for assault if they lived in the same location. Anyway, the dog stayed.
Slowly, she was getting better. I even thought she'd shown progress, although I still worried horribly about her hurting Tavi or Bagheera. Khan despised the dog and would ambush and attack her. She was frightened of Khan and respected Noel as dominent. We employed techniques of making her wait till last to eat to establish that the humans and the cats were dominent, and a ton more of Ceaser's techniques. They helped immensely.
By the way, she was horrible with guests, tried several times to go after the neighborhood children, and was extremely aggressive with any one who showed an ounce of fear, and other dogs. Forgot to mention that earlier.
In July, my nephew moved out, and went back to our hometown. My sister kept the dog, because he was supposed to be taking her with him, but as it turned out, he moved in with a girlfriend that had small children, and even though my sister was oblivious to the fact that he wasn't going to be able to take her... I said, when she mentioned it one day... You might as well give up on that thought, cause.. he's got small children in the house. We're stuck with this dog. She said, yes, I think that might be the case. There were a few more incidents where Elisa snapped at the cats, and I would correct her, and I was told (even though my sister was sitting right there) that indeed, the dog did no such thing. I just said, you know, if you paid attention to what this dog is doing, instead of sitting there oblivious with your nose in a book, you'd see that she's doing this. But, I guess that's not important because it's not your cat that's in danger. I just got more of the condescending commentary.
Thanksgiving time rolled around, and my nephew, and his new girlfriend and her newborn decided to come for a visit. My mother was here as well, and the dog was exhibiting signs of possesiveness with the baby. My sister was holding the baby, and Elisa was at her feet. Tavi walked near her, in her absolutely unafraid of anything Bengal manner.. and Elisa turned on her, snapped, and managed to get Tavi. Tavi flip flopped around for several minutes. I tried desparetly to put my hands on her and see if I could see anything, or do anything for her, to no avail. Noel was protecting her, and for the first and only time in her life, Noel in her protection for Tavi, scratched me every time I tried to touch Tavi, and then finally bit me. I had to tell her that it was all right, and reassure her so that I could examine Tavi. So, with blood dripping from my wounds, I was finally able to put my hands on Tavi, to see absolutely nothing. By this point, with everyone frantic and rushing around, Tavi had stopped moving. Becca, my nephew's girlfriend, had run and gotten the carrier, and we rushed her to the vet. I knew in my heart that she was already dead, but we tried to take her to the emergency room. They rushed her in, but it was just too late. Tavi was gone. The vet let me say goodbye, and they took her away to be creamated.
That precious little girl, I was responsible for her little life, and I wasn't able to keep her safe. I know it's self-defeating, but I feel so responsible. There are so many things that I could have done differently, like known better than to bring her into the household when the dog was here. Or, like tried to move out and take them to a home where Elisa wasn't a factor, but unfortunately I didn't have the money at the time. I guess, ultimately, I was selfish and it was brought about her death. I'm angry that the dog took priority over my cat. I still reasonably cannot blame my family since there were options I could have considered, but I guess the thing that gets me about it, other than the fact that my beloved baby is dead, is they were so condescending and snotty about that dog. I haven't even had the heart to call the breeder and tell her yet. I just don't even know how to tell her that the precious little one she left in my care died such a horrid death.
We've since found another home for Elisa, and we were completely honest about her, even to the point of telling the people she'd killed Tavi. She seems to be doing well there. They keep us updated occasionally.
Noel grieved and grieved, and wouldn't talk to anyone but me. She was furious with my sister, to the point that she wouldn't speak to her, or acknowledge her presence. I don't know if Noel picked up on my feelings of anger, or if she put the connection between the dog and my sister together. Two months went by before she'd have anything at all to do with my sister. We started immediately looking for another kitten, mostly for Noel. I knew I wasn't ready, although that horrible sense of loss needed to be filled, I just knew there wasn't anything to be done about it. We went to see a baby, put a deposit on her, and I just couldn't bring myself to be excited about her. Joyeux came home two days before Christmas. Noel interacts with her some, but they don't have the bond that Noel and Tavi had. As much as I love this new little girl..I have to remind myself every day that she's not Tavi, and I can't ever expect any cat to be like her. It's very difficult not to put that onus on her. She's a bright, beautiful little girl, but I'm still unable to bond with her because I just can't get over the loss of Tavi. She was such a special little girl. Where Noel is my comfort companion, Tavi was the one that brought overwhelming laughter and joy with her antics and personality. The house lost it's "life" when she was gone.
So, wherever you are, Tavi, know that I miss you terribly, as does Noel, and that if I would have known this was your fate, I would have done anything I could to have changed it. I'm so, so very sorry, little one. I hope you're in a happier place, where the loss doesn't affect you as it does us. Joyeux isn't your replacement, as you can never be replaced, but it helps our hearts a little and gives us an outlet. Noel, at least, is distracted.
I know there's a forum for other animals in the house, but since this directly pertains to Tavi's death, I'm going to tell the tale here, and how Tavi came to be jerked suddenly from our midst.
About two years ago, our family was going through a period when we were dealing with the loss of two of our aunts, who were both dying of lung cancer. They died within a few months of each other. At this time, we lost our little ghost kitty, GypsyMoth, to some unknown health illness after spending a fortune at the vet, she finally had to be put down. This left us with Noel, and a rescue/foster, Asha. Asha had been here for awhile but never did fit in and finally went to her new home, where she's been happy ever since.
Enter Shere Khan and Bagheera. Since we were particularly overloaded with loss, I decided to put a deposit on one cute Bengal kitten that my sister had seen and fallen in love with on a breeder's website. I paid for him in secret, and only finally told my nephew the day we went to pick him up. We showed up at my sister's office, and called her and said come downstairs (and she about fainted). So, Khan joined our family. We established a good relationship with the breeder. A few weeks later, we added Bagheera (the Mau).
The next month, my second aunt died, and our very old dog, Boonehaven (boonie) was one paw in the dirt, poor guy. My sister saw an ad on craigslist for a Great Dane, for a small donation. She asked my nephew and I what we thought about it, and I said, I wouldn't mind getting another dog. The ad said, small training issues, unable to keep her because we're unable to walk her and she pulls on the leash. Small donation to help with rescue work of other animals. We called, made an appointment and went to see the dog. We got along with her (the dog) well, asked how much the donation was... to find out the woman wanted $400 for an unpapered dog, with vet records that ended up never being produced, and no history. Given the dog's state, and the fact that my nephew and sister had already fallen in love with her, we ended up taking the dog home. The woman said, she's great with kids (mine sleeps on her), great with cats (ours walk all over her), great with people (loves everybody), and is great with other dogs. Her issues are she tears apart her stuffed animals, and she's a bit possesive about her food, but that's the only thing. The woman blatantly lied about this dog.
We got the dog home. We ended up naming her Elisa. She was a clown, much like Scooby Doo. Several weeks later (and a bit off the timeline) Boone ended up being put down due to his rapid decline in health. But back to the story. She (Elisa) snapped at one of our cats, and was showing some aggression. My dsh, Noel, who is the "moderator" of the house, and has long been established as the matriarch, took about two days before she chased the dog down, and established exactly who the alpha in the house was. The problem seemed to be fixing itself, but I still worried about them. I monitored the dog while she ate, and when she was doing anything that I thought might be an issue.. I was informed by my family that I was overreacting, and that I just hated the dog. I was informed that indeed, she was not *my* dog, and I had absolutely no control over her. I was only being this way because I didn't have any control and I simply a control freak.
The dog continued to snap at the other cats occasionally, and I was petrified. We started employing Ceaser's methods of getting her to submit. She was always out to be the alpha and no matter how much work, we were unable to remove her from that position in her mind. She was exceptionally strong willed (and it didn't help that nephew and sister helped to keep that established in her head). The issue seemed to calm down, and the dog was making progress. Slowly, a lot of her issues were resolved.
After she snapped at my son, who doesn't live with us, and nailed him in his face, I wanted to get rid of the dog. To me, at this point, my relationship with the adopted parents of my son, and my son was in jeopardy. My sister and nephew refused. "She's got issues, I'm positive she didn't intend to bite him, she's getting better, etc." They flat out refused, and completely overrode me again. Fortunately, the adoptive parents didn't flip out, and I still get visitation and my son isn't afraid of dogs or more seriously traumatized by the entire event.
Shortly thereafter, the Bengal breeder called me and told me that she had a male that had come back to her for inappropriate pottying. We told her we'd attempt to rehabilitate him for her since she was unable to work with him properly, and after several months, and tons of research, and talking to behaviorists, we established that it was marking behavior. And he was not getting along with the other cats, in addition to marking, so the breeder said bring him back, I'll keep him here, and I'd actually like to show him since he's show quality. (That's the short version of his story.) When we got him back there, she said, you know, I have this little girl. Her coat is flawed. I can't sell her, and I don't have space to keep her. I don't want to advertise her as free, because I don't want someone to take her and try to breed her, and you just never know what might happen. Would you be interested? And, of course, once we saw her, we fell in love. Enter Rikki Tikki Tavi.
Tavi very quickly became the household kitty favorite. She had so much personality the house just bursted with it. I used to come home every night and laugh and laugh and laugh at her antics. Hours and hours of playing and amusing herself with whatever little bit of something or other held her fascination for that moment. We had to put *everything* up, because she was a thief and a packrat. She wouldn't get up on a table, but she'd stretch her little self up, parascope her neck just like the mongoose she was named for, and spy whatever it was that she wanted, and swipe it, play with it, and eventually packrat it into one of her hoardes. She's got several around here that I still havent' had the heart to open up and retrieve all the stuff from. Every morning, it was a ritual now, she'd jump up on my bed at 7:15, and wake me up. She was starting to nip a little, and she was getting very possesive of me. She was definitely my cat, even though she spent time with everyone. One of her very unique traits was that she'd "click" when you played with her. If you've ever seen the movie "Signs", she sounded like the aliens that came over the walkie-talkies. That very same clicking noise. She was such a unique little girl. She and Noel were so close. They were always together.
Anyway, one of her things was she had a taste for dog food. I don't know why. Bagheera did too. One day, I was here by myself.. nephew at work and sister was at a doctor's appointment..and I'd just fed Elisa. I was monitoring her, as I always did for fear that my cats would come to harm, but I had my back turned because I was washing the cat dishes in the sink. I was still watching the dog and the entrances to the kitchen, mostly the entrances, because I'd made sure that all the kitties were out of the room.
I saw Tavi come in, and she simply walked past the dog.. and I just sensed that something was going to happen, so I turned around. Just that quick, Elisa turned on her, and started to chase her across the kitchen. Tavi's little feet couldn't get any purchase on the tile floor, and thankfully, neither could Elisa's. I grabbed Elisa's collar, but given her zigzag pattern (following Tavi's slipping trail across the floor), she pulled away from me. I tried again, and missed her collar. Finally, I just tackled her. The dog was *not* in her head. Tavi escaped out the kitchen door, as Elisa was pinned to the ground, still struggling to get at Tavi, with me on top of her (which, I'm sure, triggered memories of her sexual abuse that the vet said she'd suffered, given that I was tackling her from behind). She turned and chomped my arm three or four times, fortunately didn't break through the sweatshirt, and then nailed my hand twice. It took Noel, who had been unable until this point to reach Elisa given the dimensions of the house and where we were, zipping around to the other side of this door and running up to Elisa and whapping her about 10 times to snap Elisa back to her senses, who immediately cowered, probably partially due to the fact that I was screaming at her, I admit.
I put the dog on the deck, closed the door and called my sister. I was told that I was exaggerating, as my hand was laid open, bleeding, and that she wasn't really chasing the cat across the house with the intent to hurt her. It wasn't said, but the implication was I did something to the dog that made the dog snap and bite me. She went to the store and got me bandages, and no matter how much I screamed and protested and stomped my feet, the dog stayed. Every time I'd bring any of it up, I was just dismissed as not knowing what I was talking about, and told this in a completely condescending tone. I kept saying that she was going to kill one of my cats. That, apparently, was a ridiculous thought. I harbored the idea of calling the pound and having her taken away, but I knew she'd be put down and I couldn't bear the thought of having that done to her. For all of her faults, it wasn't the dog who made herself that way. It was her previous owners. And honestly, it's a good thing they moved.. I probably would have been in jail by now for assault if they lived in the same location. Anyway, the dog stayed.
Slowly, she was getting better. I even thought she'd shown progress, although I still worried horribly about her hurting Tavi or Bagheera. Khan despised the dog and would ambush and attack her. She was frightened of Khan and respected Noel as dominent. We employed techniques of making her wait till last to eat to establish that the humans and the cats were dominent, and a ton more of Ceaser's techniques. They helped immensely.
By the way, she was horrible with guests, tried several times to go after the neighborhood children, and was extremely aggressive with any one who showed an ounce of fear, and other dogs. Forgot to mention that earlier.
In July, my nephew moved out, and went back to our hometown. My sister kept the dog, because he was supposed to be taking her with him, but as it turned out, he moved in with a girlfriend that had small children, and even though my sister was oblivious to the fact that he wasn't going to be able to take her... I said, when she mentioned it one day... You might as well give up on that thought, cause.. he's got small children in the house. We're stuck with this dog. She said, yes, I think that might be the case. There were a few more incidents where Elisa snapped at the cats, and I would correct her, and I was told (even though my sister was sitting right there) that indeed, the dog did no such thing. I just said, you know, if you paid attention to what this dog is doing, instead of sitting there oblivious with your nose in a book, you'd see that she's doing this. But, I guess that's not important because it's not your cat that's in danger. I just got more of the condescending commentary.
Thanksgiving time rolled around, and my nephew, and his new girlfriend and her newborn decided to come for a visit. My mother was here as well, and the dog was exhibiting signs of possesiveness with the baby. My sister was holding the baby, and Elisa was at her feet. Tavi walked near her, in her absolutely unafraid of anything Bengal manner.. and Elisa turned on her, snapped, and managed to get Tavi. Tavi flip flopped around for several minutes. I tried desparetly to put my hands on her and see if I could see anything, or do anything for her, to no avail. Noel was protecting her, and for the first and only time in her life, Noel in her protection for Tavi, scratched me every time I tried to touch Tavi, and then finally bit me. I had to tell her that it was all right, and reassure her so that I could examine Tavi. So, with blood dripping from my wounds, I was finally able to put my hands on Tavi, to see absolutely nothing. By this point, with everyone frantic and rushing around, Tavi had stopped moving. Becca, my nephew's girlfriend, had run and gotten the carrier, and we rushed her to the vet. I knew in my heart that she was already dead, but we tried to take her to the emergency room. They rushed her in, but it was just too late. Tavi was gone. The vet let me say goodbye, and they took her away to be creamated.
That precious little girl, I was responsible for her little life, and I wasn't able to keep her safe. I know it's self-defeating, but I feel so responsible. There are so many things that I could have done differently, like known better than to bring her into the household when the dog was here. Or, like tried to move out and take them to a home where Elisa wasn't a factor, but unfortunately I didn't have the money at the time. I guess, ultimately, I was selfish and it was brought about her death. I'm angry that the dog took priority over my cat. I still reasonably cannot blame my family since there were options I could have considered, but I guess the thing that gets me about it, other than the fact that my beloved baby is dead, is they were so condescending and snotty about that dog. I haven't even had the heart to call the breeder and tell her yet. I just don't even know how to tell her that the precious little one she left in my care died such a horrid death.
We've since found another home for Elisa, and we were completely honest about her, even to the point of telling the people she'd killed Tavi. She seems to be doing well there. They keep us updated occasionally.
Noel grieved and grieved, and wouldn't talk to anyone but me. She was furious with my sister, to the point that she wouldn't speak to her, or acknowledge her presence. I don't know if Noel picked up on my feelings of anger, or if she put the connection between the dog and my sister together. Two months went by before she'd have anything at all to do with my sister. We started immediately looking for another kitten, mostly for Noel. I knew I wasn't ready, although that horrible sense of loss needed to be filled, I just knew there wasn't anything to be done about it. We went to see a baby, put a deposit on her, and I just couldn't bring myself to be excited about her. Joyeux came home two days before Christmas. Noel interacts with her some, but they don't have the bond that Noel and Tavi had. As much as I love this new little girl..I have to remind myself every day that she's not Tavi, and I can't ever expect any cat to be like her. It's very difficult not to put that onus on her. She's a bright, beautiful little girl, but I'm still unable to bond with her because I just can't get over the loss of Tavi. She was such a special little girl. Where Noel is my comfort companion, Tavi was the one that brought overwhelming laughter and joy with her antics and personality. The house lost it's "life" when she was gone.
So, wherever you are, Tavi, know that I miss you terribly, as does Noel, and that if I would have known this was your fate, I would have done anything I could to have changed it. I'm so, so very sorry, little one. I hope you're in a happier place, where the loss doesn't affect you as it does us. Joyeux isn't your replacement, as you can never be replaced, but it helps our hearts a little and gives us an outlet. Noel, at least, is distracted.
