He's leaving me. . .

loreye

loreye

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My christopher joined the armed forces in november and was on deferral. He was going to go back to them in february when the deferral was up but he never bothered to go back. Until they called him and offered him a job and a great salary. He leaves next week and this is all happening so fast I don't know what to do!

At first I thought it was great. it's a great career choice. I could go back to school/finish school. I don't have to worry about finding a job because I can work from home wherever we get moved to. But basic training for him is going to be about 3 months. I always knew this, but I am realizing now how much I am going to miss him.

He said to me when he took the job "Think of all the clothes you can buy! I want that closet filled with all the nice things you're going to buy. And now you can go to london in the summer! And you won't have to work as much anymore!"

Well, he blinded me with all those fabulous things. But they're not going to make me miss him any less.

I guess I really won't know what it's like until he's gone. My girlfriends, we went out last weekend and I told them everything and they said "don't worry, we'll take care of you"

AHHH!
 
mooficat

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aww thats a bummer, but if its just his 3 mths training then that will soon fly by and just think about getting together with him again
 
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Oh, you hang in there.


Absence does make the heart grow fonder, and remember to take care of you, because that's what Christopher wants you to do as well.
 
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loreye

loreye

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He won't be that far away. And on his weekends off I can fly up and see him. It won't cost much, and I have friends in Montreal that I would love to see, and it gives me and excuse to see them too.

After that, we'll be packing our bags for somewhere in ontario for at least 3 years. He'll probably do some time in Afganistan


The woman I work with says that being with someone who is away most of the year has been very good for her marriage. She says it's like the honeymoon is never over because every time he comes home it's just nice to have him around. And before they can even get mad at each other for the silly little things couples fight about, it's time to leave again.

I don't know..... like I said, I won't know until he's gone.
 
jessy

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Aw bless you. The three months will fly by and think how good it will be when you two see each other again.
 
MoochNNoodles

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Been there done that. I know the feeling. But it is like a honeymoon every time he comes home. Plus I think while DH was in the military, it was much easier to not sweat the small stuff. It made me focus on what was important.

The time apart is always hard, without a dobut. My suggestion would be 1) never read/watch the news. It's never truly accurate to what is going on. (I say this as a military wife, daughter, sister, friend, etc.) 2) Make a list of goals for yourself to accomplish while he is away, with time limits. I had everything from reading books to redoing rooms of the house. 3) Spend time with the other people in your life who matter. Be it pets, friends, family etc. The biggest mistake I ever made in relation to deployments was self-pity and locking myself away to wallow in it. It did me no good and it really did DH no good once he found out. 4) Give yourself things to do in relation to him. Write in a journal to give to him when he gets back. Take pictures to mail to him. Tape his favorite shows, etc. The days go much quicker when you focus on positives and goals. At least they did for me. Remember, we're always here on TCS. If you need an 'ear', mine is just a pm away.
 
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loreye

loreye

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Originally Posted by MoochNNoodles

Been there done that. I know the feeling. But it is like a honeymoon every time he comes home. Plus I think while DH was in the military, it was much easier to not sweat the small stuff. It made me focus on what was important.

The time apart is always hard, without a dobut. My suggestion would be 1) never read/watch the news. It's never truly accurate to what is going on. (I say this as a military wife, daughter, sister, friend, etc.) 2) Make a list of goals for yourself to accomplish while he is away, with time limits. I had everything from reading books to redoing rooms of the house. 3) Spend time with the other people in your life who matter. Be it pets, friends, family etc. The biggest mistake I ever made in relation to deployments was self-pity and locking myself away to wallow in it. It did me no good and it really did DH no good once he found out. 4) Give yourself things to do in relation to him. Write in a journal to give to him when he gets back. Take pictures to mail to him. Tape his favorite shows, etc. The days go much quicker when you focus on positives and goals. At least they did for me. Remember, we're always here on TCS. If you need an 'ear', mine is just a pm away.
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That's all great advice. Especially the news bit. I don't watch the news ever. Now I will make a real effort not to. Now I just hope my parents and friends can adopt the same attitude and not pass on what they see/hear/read on to me.

I already have plans made up. My friend from CB is coming down over her march break. My girl friends said they would be over every weekend to party.


My time will be spent giving away my possessions. Our sofa's belong to my cousin. She got them over a year ago for when she gets an apartment and still hasn't, so she's going to get them back early. The kitchen set is my ex-roommates, she's getting it back whether she likes it or not.

The bed is going in the garbage. It's falling apart! I'm going to let the girls come over some day and raid my closet. Working in retail fashion I have way too many clothes that I hardly wear in real life.

And I'll keep myself busy with web projects. My set goal is to make a fully professional online portfolio of web designs.
 
MoochNNoodles

MoochNNoodles

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Originally Posted by LorEye

That's all great advice. Especially the news bit. I don't watch the news ever. Now I will make a real effort not to. Now I just hope my parents and friends can adopt the same attitude and not pass on what they see/hear/read on to me.
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As far as that goes; I'd feel completely free to interrupt them if they so much as should start mentioning anything and ask them to please respect you in that matter. Be firm from the beginning and they should catch on quick! Worked for me like that.
 
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