TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › IMO: In My Opinion › Silent Treatment
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Silent Treatment

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
My niece was visiting me a week or so ago and told me about a problem she is having with some 2 female work colleagues.
They worked in the same team as her, but the company has had a re-organisation and they have moved to another team but in the same dept. My niece has had a small promotion. So they got on well when they were all in the same team, but now they give her the silent treatment, snub her in the corridors, one has even gone as far as ignoring work related emails. She has tried different approaches, but they ignore her. She has no line-management control of these people. She just thought they were friends & could continue.
Now my niece is a friendly person, she has a good marriage, obviously she & her husband are on good salaries, they have 2 cars, take 3 good holidays a year and have a beautiful detached house.
Now my opinion is that its all very childish and immature. The girls and they are in late 20's, one is a desparate singleton, the other a bored man-eater and are plain just jealous.
My niece says she can get on with her work and its not affecting her output or anything, but she´s would like to now what all this daft behaviour is about. She wants to approach one of them, but they seem to always be together, and disappear off to the coffee room.

I told her to 'let them get on with it' they are NOT important people in her life and as long as it doesnt effect her work then to them !
post #2 of 20
Yep, I would just ignore them too, sooner or later one of them will hafta be by themselves and then when that happens and they wanna be her friend that day, I would do the same thing to them.
post #3 of 20
It will be hard to talk to them. I would let it cool off. Maybe they wanted the promotion. It is very childish and I went through the samething. I tried talking to them together and apart, it only fueled their chit chats even more. I would let it go and they will eventually get over it when they see it isn't bothering your neice. If they are ignoring her emails concerning work, I would document that and if things don't calm down, then I would have a talk with them.
post #4 of 20
geez i hate when people do stuff like that. We have had some major shifting at my place of part time work right now. and seems those who have moved up are doing something similar. ah well. she doesnt need them
post #5 of 20
First i would Save the work emails that where sent.
just in case later when the other person says your niece never sent them the mail(trust me i have seen that happen more then a few times)

second. the way i look at it is, if you dont talk to me, that is one less person that i have to deal with. I dont show up at work to make friends and be soical. So, if i was her, i would jsut ignore it, save those work mails, and get on with my work life.
post #6 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by theimp98 View Post
First i would Save the work emails that where sent.
just in case later when the other person says your niece never sent them the mail(trust me i have seen that happen more then a few times)

second. the way i look at it is, if you dont talk to me, that is one less person that i have to deal with. I dont show up at work to make friends and be soical. So, if i was her, i would jsut ignore it, save those work mails, and get on with my work life.
This is not the way "friends" behave, and if they want to play that game, the loss of their "friendship" is no particular loss. But such capricious people can also be dangerous professionally, and your niece needs to watch her backside where they are concerned. She would likely do well, when communicating with them by email, to copy someone else on the message, so that its existence cannot be denied or blown off.
post #7 of 20
We women can be so darned catty can't we?
post #8 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by ckblv View Post
We women can be so darned catty can't we?
yep but we still love you anyway
post #9 of 20
Basically it's just plain ole elementary school behavior at work. It's really sad to encounter people like this. She just has to do her best to ignore the behavior. Obviously they aren't friends... true ones.
post #10 of 20
When people do that to me or act snobby i tell them to, "HAVE A SUPER DAY!" in my most excited tone ever and make a really coy, sarcastic smile at them in otherwards to go tell them to :censored: themselvesIt takes a LOT to make me that mad at someone - but when i'm ticked- i always tell them that and make that face Their expressions are always priceless (and if they try to say something all you have to do is point out your were bring nice and told them to have a super day- what's wrong with being polite lol works like a charm!) Usually i'm really sweet and kind to people- but when someone goes off on me or is particurally rude - i always do that and it snaps them rought out of it
post #11 of 20
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by StarryEyedTiGeR View Post
When people do that to me or act snobby i tell them to, "HAVE A SUPER DAY!" in my most excited tone ever
oooooooooo I like that, yep, she could shout 'morning ladies' etc .... just they are a miserable set of doesnt mean she has to be the same
post #12 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by theimp98 View Post
First i would Save the work emails that where sent.
just in case later when the other person says your niece never sent them the mail(trust me i have seen that happen more then a few times)

second. the way i look at it is, if you dont talk to me, that is one less person that i have to deal with. I dont show up at work to make friends and be soical. So, if i was her, i would jsut ignore it, save those work mails, and get on with my work life.
I agree with Bruce here.

Theres nothing worse than two little witches being clique like that. Is there no one in authority that sees any of this going on anyway?. I pick up on things like that at work and i'll always say something because although i'm not in authority i've been there long enough to tell them enoughs enough and to stop making someone feel uncomfortable
post #13 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by mooficat View Post
oooooooooo I like that, yep, she could shout 'morning ladies' etc .... just they are a miserable set of doesnt mean she has to be the same
Theres that old saying, 'kill them with kindness' and I agree- if I was your niece I'd carry on being really happy and friendly around them...
Aside from anything-else others in the office will see that they are the ones with a problem and not your niece
Heres a quick hug as I know that these things can be uncomfortable
post #14 of 20
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by silentNate View Post
Heres a quick hug as I know that these things can be uncomfortable

aww.........thanks............I will be speaking to her later this evening (our Sunday chat ) so she´ll be updating me no doubt, so I´ll pass on the hug and thoughts Shes a strong girl and whilst she can stand above it, its not nice, woman can be such bitches eh !
post #15 of 20
** Have a SUPER Day!!! **

I've used the SAME technique with some people. Usually they come back with cussing and all kinds of mad! lol
post #16 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by mooficat View Post
oooooooooo I like that, yep, she could shout 'morning ladies' etc .... just they are a miserable set of doesnt mean she has to be the same
lol isn't it great! i only do that when people are SUPER bi$%^& to me. and it takes a lot to really irritate me. lol but when they do i always wish them a "super day"

Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffysimba View Post
** Have a SUPER Day!!! **

I've used the SAME technique with some people. Usually they come back with cussing and all kinds of mad! lol
lol that's part of the fun that's when you smile really big at them say "oh i'm sorry.....HAVE A NICE DAY!"
post #17 of 20
re the work emails - if they are ignoring work related emails then your niece should copy in their line manager when she sends them an email.

re the rest - if they want to be petty and childish then I would just ignore them. Be polite to them when necessary and treat them like any other colleague but otherwise just let them be and move on.
post #18 of 20
They are acting like 2 yr old brats. If she can get the work done without their help then I'd just let them be. Maybe in time they will get tired of acting like a 2 yr old and start talking to them.

Too many people in the world to be worried about a few jealous women
post #19 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by urbantigers View Post
re the work emails - if they are ignoring work related emails then your niece should copy in their line manager when she sends them an email.

re the rest - if they want to be petty and childish then I would just ignore them. Be polite to them when necessary and treat them like any other colleague but otherwise just let them be and move on.
This is by far the most mature way to handle it. The last thing she needs to do is bring herself down to their level by participating in the childish actions.
post #20 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rosiemac View Post
...Theres nothing worse than two little witches being clique like that...
YEAH! Witches!

I feel for your sister. I am SO tired of dealing with people like that! The only way is to ignore them, like you told her.

These kind of people actually respect you and become nicer if you treat them like crap and/or ignore them. Go figure.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: IMO: In My Opinion
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › IMO: In My Opinion › Silent Treatment