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Wedding jitters?

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
Am I normal?
I'm getting married in 10 weeks and 1 day. At the moment eveything seems ten times more important, like if we have an argument I think - OMG this is what I have to live with for the rest of my life - whereas normally I'd look back and laugh at what a silly thing we argued over.
I'm always like this - I worry about things sooo much. When we bought our house together 15 months ago I had panic attacks and so many sleepless nights. I almost ended up being unable to leave the house, but with medication and hypnotherapy I helped myself.
The man I am marrying is amazing. He's so wonderful - he makes me laugh - I can talk to him about ANYTHING. Just thinking about him I could cry with how much I love him. We've been together 3.5 years or so and I still fancy the pants off him - possibly even more than when we met!
I'm 26 on tuesday - he's 30 so it's not like we really really young. I'm just so worried, what with divorce stastics being the way they are - how do we know we're doing the right thing? What if there's a better match out there for either of us? I've talked to him about this and he's been great - he just says we're just like any other couple and I don't need to worry - and so on.
Did or does anyone else have these feelings? Why am I doubting! I think it's just my personality. If I gave up my man it's something I would regret forever. He's one in a million.
post #2 of 16
It's a big leap of faith. It sounds to me like you know you have found the right one already, just by what you have posted. Marriage is a scary thing, so of course you are going to have jitters. The anxiety of planning a wedding makes everything a thousand times worse as well. Hang in there, it will be over soon enough and you can get to the happily ever after part.
post #3 of 16
I think it's pretty normal to get jitters before you're married. You always wonder if you're making the right choice, it's such a big step, what if it doesn't work out, etc. Don't worry. It sounds like you've found your soulmate and these feelings happen to just about everyone! Planning a wedding is very stressful - have you ever seen the show "Bridezillas"? There's a reason why brides (and grooms too) go a little nutty before the wedding - some more than others!

Don't worry!
post #4 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by AbbysMom View Post
It's a big leap of faith. It sounds to me like you know you have found the right one already, just by what you have posted. Marriage is a scary thing, so of course you are going to have jitters. The anxiety of planning a wedding makes everything a thousand times worse as well. Hang in there, it will be over soon enough and you can get to the happily ever after part.


I'm sure you will be fine, I think a lot of those that go wrong are the ones when everything is focused on the DAY and they forget the ever after bit.
We had nerves and wondered if we we doing the right thing, but it seems to have worked it will be our 45th anniversery in May.
post #5 of 16
First of all, congrat! Second, RELAX!! I got married a little over a year ago, and I went through the same thing while we were planning the wedding. Little disagreements got blown up in my mind and I started psycho-analyzing everything! My advice...keep the lines of communication open with your fiance. You said you could talk to him about anything, he makes you laugh and you're crazy about him. Sound to me you made the right choice. I IS a huge step, and being nervous about it is normal. After the wedding you will be surprised how calm and normal life can be!

As for buying the house, I was like that AFTER we were married. When we signed the contract I was fine, but in the car afterwards I was almost hyperventilating!
post #6 of 16
Yep, it sounds like normal nerves to me. Hang in there, your stress levels should go waaaay down after the big day is behind you. I ended up taking Xanax on my wedding day because I was so high-strung. Yeesh. Just try to take it one step at a time and enjoy this time as best you can. It will go by in a blur!
post #7 of 16
I agree with the other posters, its a normal thing, and as you are so busy with all the plans and everything, I think you can see things larger than life.

Can you take some time out for yourself, maybe an afternoon or something, just to de-stress a bit. Treat yourself to a beauty treatment, switch off from the wedding - which I know will be hard - but it might help !

Chill, gal you´re gonna have a great day and a great life with a fab fella
post #8 of 16
Totally normal!!! It's not like we're talking about a "forever thing here"...no, wait...we are!!! Of course it's nerve-racking!!! Once you're married, things to change, but you'll find yourselves growing together, as a couple. Marriage is work, and a major commitment, but since it sounds like you sound like you've found the right person, the ups and downs will be worth it!

Congrats to you!
post #9 of 16
its normal it happened to me before my wedding too. Alot. But i know without a doubt i did the right thing.
post #10 of 16
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone I feel loads better. It is sooooo exciting! I've really enjoyed the planning, I've been so lucky, neither of the families have been too pushy - yet! My mum has insisted on a couple of guests - but I told her she had to pay for them & she said ok! You guys are so great, thank you
post #11 of 16
Well Jessy you are off to a good start in the fact you said you can talk to him about anything. I was married for 22yrs and looking back I would say things started to go wrong in the last 6or 7 of those years. Bringing up three children pressures of finance etc etc, if your not carefull it can creep up on you and effect the relationship without you knowing. My ex started to work part time and before we knew it we were like passing ships in the night, she would come home and I would be off to work. But Hey!! I met somebody else a few years later and we got married back in September. Sometimes your going to have an argument over something, thats part of it, but all I can say is now when we have our little tiffs I listen more and I think before I open my mouth. I was never one for when explaning myself or my opinions, I used to get frustrated so I would sometimes say things that deep down I knew I didnt mean. So you got nothing to worry about girl, just enjoy the day, and remember no matter how trivial you think the problem might be, talk about it before it gets out of hand.
post #12 of 16
Ps. And from a mans point of view, feed him well
post #13 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by u8myufo View Post
Ps. And from a mans point of view, feed him well
I think I must do this - he's gained a stone!
post #14 of 16
Nice one Jessy. Like I say though you got nothing to worry about. Forget love at first sight and all that nonsence, that is just lust. Love takes time to grow, it takes time to know somebody, you think you do but then all of a sudden he/she will do or say something that takes the other person by surprise. My dear old Gran bless her when she was alive came out with all sorts of things that I never expected her to say It just goes to show.
And here is living proof that you can be happy together.
post #15 of 16
Aw, from what it sounds like it is just jitters for sure. You didn't mention anything bad at all about him and you seem to have real love for him.

Congratulations!! I'm sure it will be amazing
post #16 of 16
Thread Starter 
thanks again, of course he does have his bad points, like he can be argumentative and stubborn, and he's not very good at organising things, like a night out for my b.day! But I know this about him and can live with it and besides I'm certainly not perfect! I wonder how he puts up with me sometimes!!

Wow Anakat 45 years! Congratulations that's amazing! What's the secret? From this thread - lots of open communication and good food!
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