I don't know where else to go but here to share my sad story about Ethan. I rescued Ethan and his brother, Patrick, last summer in a neighborhood where these two boys were roaming about freely since their owners had no use for them. The Animal Control was on their way to take them to the high-kill shelter, but I got to them first. I took them to the vet and had them neutered, vaccinated, and treated for a severe case of earmites. They both put on weight and and their coats shined. Both Ethan and Patrick were the sweetest cats---not a mean bone in their bodies. But Ethan was very shy and suspicious and I worked hard at winning him over. When I came home from work last week, I couldn't find Ethan. I worried about him because it was so cold outside, even though he had such a beautiful coat of fur to keep him warm. I walked up and down my rural road with the flashlight for two hours calling him, but couldn't find him. I finally decided to go look at around my pond to see if he might be over there. In the dim light, I saw that something had broken through the ice in the middle of the pond, but I couldn't tell for sure what it was. I had to wait until morning and could hardly sleep all night because deep down I knew what it was. Early the next morning I ran to the pond and it was my poor, sweet Ethan. I could hardly breathe because I could see that he had struggled and I hadn't been there to save him. I was so upset because I couldn't even get to him to pull his body out of the water. I finally got some friends to bring their kayak over and break the ice to get him. My heart is so broken for the tragic loss of this animal that I had brought home to protect because I had failed him so miserably--I feel so guilty about this and now the joy that I had felt in "saving and protecting" all my cats is gone. I am only comforted by the feeling that Ethan knew how much he was loved--especially on the last night we spent together outside in the cold on the front porch when he was on my lap and I was petting him and holding him. Sweet, beautiful Ethan is buried now under the birch tree and I miss him now and I'll miss him always.