The Diaries

I found this on a Bengal cat site called http://www.indykatz.com :

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

Day number 180 08:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE! 09:30 am - OH BOY!
A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE! 09:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE! 10:30
am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE! 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY
FAVOURITE! 12:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE! 01:00 pm - OH BOY! THE
YARD! MY FAVOURITE! 04:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE! 05:00 pm - OH
BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE! 05:30 pm - OH BOY! MUM! MY FAVOURITE!

Day number 181 08:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE! 09:30 am - OH BOY!
A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE! 09:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE! 10:30
am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE! 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY
FAVOURITE! 12:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE! 01:00 pm - OH BOY! THE
YARD! MY FAVOURITE! 04:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE! 05:00 pm - OH
BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE! 05:30 pm - OH BOY! MUM! MY FAVOURITE!

Day number 182 08:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE! 09:30 am - OH BOY!
A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE! 09:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE! 10:30
am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE! 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY
FAVOURITE! 12:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE! 01:00 pm - OH BOY! THE
YARD! MY FAVOURITE! 01:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer. 04:00 pm - OH BOY! THE
KIDS! MY FAVOURITE! 05:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE! 05:30 pm - OH
BOY! MUM! MY FAVOURITE


EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

DAY 752 -

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only
thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I
get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat
another houseplant.

DAY 761 -

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they
were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an
attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced
myself to vomit on their favourite chair... must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 -

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to
make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat
I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 -

I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen
for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy
chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My
only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 -

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the
foul odour of the glass tubes they call "beer.." More importantly I
overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn
what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 -

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog
is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a
half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks
with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his
current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait,
it is only a matter of time...

Very cute & disturbing!.... I can relate with the:

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs