Kids calling adults by their first name...

ping

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I have not read all the responses. But to answer the question...My kids generally say Mrs. (whatever the first name). None of the teachers have ever had a problem with it and neither do I really.
 

shiraz

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When I was young (not too long ago since I'm only 20 lol) I was taught to address people as Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms/Sir/Ma'am. I still find it the most comfortable way to address people that I'm not too familiar with. I work with the public, and I can't stand it when people refer to me as "the nice lady" or "the ma'am". It makes my blood boil. lol. Miss works fine for me


Once I've met someone and they ask me to refer to them as "first name" then I have no problem with it, but I guess I just find it more polite, or simple courtesy to refer to someone by a surname unless otherwise informed. I also appreciate a child that calls me Miss (even though hearing Miss Trish cracks me up every time), because if they address me once, I'll tell them just to call me Trish. That's just what I've been raised to find polite i guess lol.

And with teachers, I'm not sure where I stand. I think that using a first name creates a more personal relationship, which I suppose may help a large percentage of students feel more comfortable at the school and help their learning, but I think may make it a little -too- comfortable.
 

jen

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When I have kids and they have friends over I better be called by my first name cuz thats my name! I can't imagine being called mrs. or miss or something, I hate miss now as it is. I always called most of my friends moms by their first name, and they always called my mom that way too as far as I can remember.

Personally I don't see why you need to give or ask permission to be called or to call someone BY THEIR NAME. I always had professors who went by their first names. I didn't have one single prof in college or the school I am in now who wen't by Prof. Whatever or Mr./Mrs. Whatever. In fact, I don't even know any of the professors at my school's last names.
 

missymotus

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Maybe it's an Aussie thing, but I've always called friends parents by their first names never Mrs or Mr.

My dad cringes everytime hubby addresses him as Sir or Mr, asking to be called by his first name.
 

jcat

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Picture this:A child becomes separated from her/his parent in a huge shopping mall, and starts screaming for "Mom" or "Dad". It's not very helpful, is it?
 

icklemiss21

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Originally Posted by jcat

Picture this:A child becomes separated from her/his parent in a huge shopping mall, and starts screaming for "Mom" or "Dad". It's not very helpful, is it?
That is actually taught in my mum's school - she makes the children learn their parents full names and emergency contact info, but I don't think that necessarily means they should use those names all the time.

As kids, we used whatever we were introduced to people as, so if my mum introduced them as Mrs Blah Blah, that is what they were called, but if they were introduced as 'this is my friend Pam' they were Pam.

As far as kids calling me by my name, I hate the Miss Blah Blah and always introduce myself by my first name so it doesn't bother me at all, I even dislike my nephew calling me auntie Eithne, just use my name!
 

arlyn

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Originally Posted by Jen

When I have kids and they have friends over I better be called by my first name cuz thats my name! I can't imagine being called mrs. or miss or something, I hate miss now as it is. I always called most of my friends moms by their first name, and they always called my mom that way too as far as I can remember.

Personally I don't see why you need to give or ask permission to be called or to call someone BY THEIR NAME. I always had professors who went by their first names. I didn't have one single prof in college or the school I am in now who wen't by Prof. Whatever or Mr./Mrs. Whatever. In fact, I don't even know any of the professors at my school's last names.
There's the rub, as an adult, you give your permission to be refered to as ....
Depending on how you introduce yourself to them.
If you introduce yourself to them by your first name, that what you expect to be called.

I used to get a giggle out of my friends' parents who would introduce themselves as So & So's mom or So & So's dad with no other name given.
How confusing is that for a kid?
 

trouts mom

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I think thats very old fashioned personally. The only people I don't call by their first name is if they are double my age or more.
 

dragoriana

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I personally think it's rude that a child has to wait for permission or be told off by the adult. Ask them nicely. They are only children. My dad always pushed into my head how rude it was to call them by their first name so most of my life i was afraid of slipping up, and i HATED it. When i finally got to stop using the word 'aunt' and 'uncle' or mr and mrs i felt free. You don't realise how much of an issue this can be with the younger people and not just the adults. I dont agree with kids calling their own parents by their first name but that's normal.
 

dixie_darlin

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Originally Posted by Ping

I have not read all the responses. But to answer the question...My kids generally say Mrs. (whatever the first name). None of the teachers have ever had a problem with it and neither do I really.
My kids do the same thing.. they say "Mrs. Lynn" or Mrs. Debbie".....
 

sweet72947

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My friend's four year old calls me "Cristy." I would feel weird if he called me Miss anything!

When I was growing up, adults were usually Mrs. or Mr. something. Close family friends were Uncle or Aunt something. To their faces, I would call our neighbors Mr. or Mrs. whatever, but when I refer to them to my mom, I use their first names. I don't use anybody's first name who's older than me (I'm 25) unless they say call me "X".
 
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swampwitch

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Maybe one of the issues here is age. If you are just out of your teens yourself, it's weird for kids to call you by your title and surname.

Originally Posted by Trouts mom

I think thats very old fashioned personally. The only people I don't call by their first name is if they are double my age or more.
Since my daughter and her friends are eight years old, then they should call anyone over fifteen by their titles and last names, which is O.K. by me.


Originally Posted by Jen

...Personally I don't see why you need to give or ask permission to be called or to call someone BY THEIR NAME.
First and last - they are both the person's name. The question is, should children use an adult's formal name when addressing him/her, or jump straight to the familar (or first name)? If an adult introduces him or herself with a familiar name, then that is "giving permission."

I'm not young, but I always address other adults as Sir, Ma'am, or their title and surname. If they ask me to do differently, I immediately honor their wishes. But I'd never assume the famiilar. That would feel rude to me, like I am taking liberties.

Thanks, all, for the replies so far!

Cheers, from
SwampWitch
 

zissou'smom

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I have never been able to call anyone much older than me by their first name. I have a few professors who don't like being called Dr. __ or Prof __ and I can't do it. Even if I'm the only one in the class, I'll still call them it. I have always been like that, it just makes me uncomfortable. My ex-bfs mom and dad wanted me to call them by their first names, and I couldn't so I ended up not calling them by any name


Some people have responded by calling me Miss Julie, which is okay with me, though it reminds me of babysitting.

Slightly related question: Do you guys get ma'am alot? I look about 16, and am about 22... and I've been called ma'am for years. Is it just me?
 

starryeyedtiger

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I was born and raised a southern belle- with manners. I can't stand it when kids are disrespectful and call their parents and other adults by their first name! It is a complete lack of respect and manners in my book and i do not tolerate it. In my family and all of the other ones around here- it's "yes mam, no mam, please, thankyou, mr. so and so, mrs. so and so, miss. so and so." I still say yes mam/sir to my mom and to colin's family as well as many others- it just shows respect. I usually call Colin's mom/dad mr. or mrs. green or "mom/dad". When i see children calling their parents by their first name- i definitely think that the parents are to blame for not teaching their children about respect and manners. All of my nieces and nephews call me Aunt Lydia (my first name) and say yes mam and no mam. We raised them with manners- and they are some of the most polite and mannerly kids you could ever want to be around. They also pull out chairs and open doors for people. When a child is raised to respect their elders and be polite and mannerly- it shows in all aspects of their life. In the South...at least around here- manners are important and most people teach them to their children around here. I like it that way. When Colin and I have children (if we're able to) we will definitely teach them to say yes mam and no mama, please and thankyou- things like that.
 

arlyn

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I hate to be called ma'am

Dunno why, it just rubs me the wrong way.
 

auntsewissa

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My mom always told me to ask the adult what they wanted to be called if I didn't know. It was about a 50/50 split with my friends parents. I have one childhood friend who's parents still refer to themselves as Mr and Mrs so-so while I'm around. I'm 30 now, so I don't think that's necessary, but out of respect, I still call them that title. I had two good childhood friends where I was practically raised in their house. I ended up just calling them mom and dad as well, the got a kick out of that. The trend I've seen here in central Va is kids referring to adults as Mr/Ms first name. Kids at church call me Ms Cerissa even though I'm married. I think Mrs. is lost now-a-days, from what I've seen. Teachers should be called Mr and Ms. I have a few teachers that I stayed in contact since graduation 12 years ago, and they even told me to now call them by their first name, but I CAN'T! Feels too funny and strange!
 

starryeyedtiger

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Originally Posted by Zissou'sMom

I have never been able to call anyone much older than me by their first name. I have a few professors who don't like being called Dr. __ or Prof __ and I can't do it. Even if I'm the only one in the class, I'll still call them it. I have always been like that, it just makes me uncomfortable. My ex-bfs mom and dad wanted me to call them by their first names, and I couldn't so I ended up not calling them by any name


Some people have responded by calling me Miss Julie, which is okay with me, though it reminds me of babysitting.

Slightly related question: Do you guys get ma'am alot? I look about 16, and am about 22... and I've been called ma'am for years. Is it just me?
I agree with you sweetie- i say dr. and mr. to my teachers too even when they want to be called by their first name. It just seems improper not to call them by their title. / I definitely get called ma'am a ton-every single day at work and i also get yes ma'am and no ma'am from my nieces and nephews as well as all of my customers. It doesn't bother me at all because to me it shows respect an manners and I appreciate people who are mannerly and kind
 

sharky

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DONT call me MAAM ...... see I am only 29 and look on a good day 21 about 18 normally

My mother gave me a name and I like to use it

Now when I was younger I always called adult s by there formal name
 

semiferal

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I personally don't mind at all - I don't like being called "Ms. Lastname". However, I'm certainly fine with it since I know it's a sign of respect.

I don't mind being called "Aunt", though it did make me laugh when my friend's 2-year-old called me "Uncle (my first name)" after he got back from a trip to visit his grandparents and uncles! Another sign of respect that I'm fine with is calling elders "Miss Firstname". Not that I consider myself an elder, but to me it's respectful without being too formal for my tastes.

I've been called Ma'am since I was about 12 so it doesn't bother me at all. I mean, what 12-year-old can possibly feel "old"?

One issue I've had with titles comes when I first meet someone in one context and then get to know them in another via their spouses or significant others. As an example, I first met my freshman year roommate's philosophy prof and called him "Mr Smith" because he was the roomie's teacher. But he was a grad student who was dating an undergrad that I became friends with because we worked part-time at the same store and were students in the same department. So "Mr. Smith, Rosie's teacher" became "Joe, Sarah's boyfriend".

Or another situation where I was working in a law firm and in general we called all the attorneys Mr. and Ms. unless invited to do otherwise but everyone else was on a first name basis. (Made no sense to me to call a 60-year-old secretary Susan and a 26-year-old junior associate Ms. Jones, but I didn't make the rules.) So Mr. Miller was one of the attorneys at the firm. He also happened to be chairman of the board of the chorus I sing in and his wife is in the chorus. His wife and I got to be friends, and moreover in that particular organization everyone is on a first name basis. So all of a sudden I had to get used to calling Mr. Miller "Jim" instead. Same person, basically the same relationship, but different place, different rules, and therefore different name.

I had enough trouble sorting all this out as an adult! Good luck to any kid who has to figure it out.
 

hilda>^..^<

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Ooo, that does sound complicated. But I think its because you are an adult that you have the option to call a person either Mr/Mrs in formal/business situations and then refer to them as their Firstname in another more relaxed environment. I think that a kid wouldn't have to make that choice...still should be Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms in my opinion.

Hilda >^..^<
 
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