Davidson's afraid :(

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babyharley

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Ever since we brought Davidson home, he's never liked John. He's really afraid of him, and we have NO idea why. John has never hurt him, yelled at him- anything. He's really quite sad that Davidson is like this around him, since he's supposed to be 'his' cat. Whenever John comes home, Davidson will run and hide under the bed, he won't come near me when I'm with John, its really quite sad


He's tried talking to him in calm voices, holding out his hand to let him smell him before he pets him- but we're at a loss- is there anything that we can do to hopefully change Davidson's outlook towards him? Its so sad!!
 

strange_wings

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Tomas didn't like anyone else but me at first, I'm still his favorite


He likes my husband now and tolerates him picking him up when before he would struggle, he even jumps up in his lap for a bit of petting. The secret, Tomas LOVES his wet food
so I make my husband feed at least one of the wet food meals to the cats everyday... or at least thats the excuse I used to make him feed the cats. It's too bad I can't use that for an excuse to make him scoop the litter box


Is there anything Davidson loves that could be used to help overcome his fear?
 
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babyharley

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I told John he should feed him their wet food, but he's not home when they usually eat- and they are on a pretty strict eating schedule. He won't eat treats, he just doesn't like them. I have no idea what to do. Davidson is SUCH a momma's boy, he's permenantly attached to my side!
 

white cat lover

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Your best bet is to have John feed Davidson his daily wet food-every single time. That means that you can no longer feed him the wet. Lily has always been terrified of my dad, but after he started feeding her wet food, she now likes him.

Or else John could feed Davidson treats? Have you tried plugging in a Feliway diffuser(I know it's expensive if you're on a budget). What you really need to do is have Daidson make a positive association with John. Maybe have John play interactively with Davidson....

ETA: Sorry...didn't see your post before I posted! If you can, carry Davidson to John & have John pet him. That's my last idea...
 
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babyharley

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Originally Posted by white cat lover

Your best bet is to have John feed Davidson his daily wet food-every single time. That means that you can no longer feed him the wet. Lily has always been terrified of my dad, but after he started feeding her wet food, she now likes him.
I think we might have to start donig that. Maybe every night before supper John can do that... I need to do something, I want them to have a good relationship.

Originally Posted by white cat lover

Or else John could feed Davidson treats? Have you tried plugging in a Feliway diffuser(I know it's expensive if you're on a budget). What you really need to do is have Daidson make a positive association with John. Maybe have John play interactively with Davidson....
I don't think a diffuser would work, not since we're on a tight budget- and Davidson doesnt' eat treats- he's a bit picky! We've tried having John on the floor playing with both Harley & Davidson (Harley adores John) and Davidson will just sit back and hide behind the chair watching with big eyes, looking terrified! I don't know if its because I'm home all the time and he's just not used to John being around as much? Which shouldn't matter because he's been around since Davidson was born!

Originally Posted by white cat lover

ETA: Sorry...didn't see your post before I posted! If you can, carry Davidson to John & have John pet him. That's my last idea...
I've tried that before too, and he will FREAK out- he will arch his back and claw the heck outta me, I don't want him to associate being afraid with John anymore!
 

strange_wings

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Maybe look at some of the tips for taming ferals? It couldn't hurt. Could you wear John's shirts when holding Davidson? Maybe smelling him on you, someone he loves and trusts, could help get Davidson used to him a little. Also, no heavy walking, loud shoes/boots. That startles Tomas and has bothered cats I've had in the past. Strange as it sounds, just the way certain people walk can spook a cat. Maybe they think they're being chased?

My BIL lumbers around, Tomas runs from him.


Do you feed only one meal of wet daily? I feed a morning and night meal. A can split between the two each meal. Since my husband comes home a little after 11pm I let him get the night meal and it's helped make Sho and Tomas both look forward to when he gets home, they start looking around for him at 11.
 
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babyharley

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Originally Posted by strange_wings

Maybe look at some of the tips for taming ferals? It couldn't hurt. Could you wear John's shirts when holding Davidson? Maybe smelling him on you, someone he loves and trusts, could help get Davidson used to him a little. Also, no heavy walking, loud shoes/boots. That startles Tomas and has bothered cats I've had in the past. Strange as it sounds, just the way certain people walk can spook a cat. Maybe they think they're being chased?

My BIL lumbers around, Tomas runs from him.


Do you feed only one meal of wet daily? I feed a morning and night meal. A can split between the two each meal. Since my husband comes home a little after 11pm I let him get the night meal and it's helped make Sho and Tomas both look forward to when he gets home, they start looking around for him at 11.
They get fed a meal at noon everyday and then again around 7PM.

I've worn Johns shirts around before, and it doesn't help any


I'm just at my wits end here, I guess the one thing we'll have to do is have John start feeing them their night meal, its worth a shot anyways.
 

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hmm, Well sounds kinda like heyu only person allowed to touch or pet her is me. No one else. WE finally got her to stop running from dad & itta. Even after a week or so in the hospital she she would not let itta more then a few feet near her. The one thing we were going to try before itta went back to indo is have itta give her a little tuna.

maybe John could try that also. but having him take over at least one wet food feeding sounds like the best bet rightnow.
 

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I'm wondering what kind of work John does. I ask because of what environmental smells he may have clinging to him when he comes home.

Is he a large man? Prone to sudden movements? Very deep or loud voice?

I know that many times a lot of my cats will get spooked easily by my house-mate because he tends to be louder and faster moving than I. Wearing shoes can also make a difference.

One of our cats always bolts if Steve coughs when in the same room, whereas I can cough and he will just lay on my lap. It sometimes bothers Steve that some of the cats will spook so easy, but for the most part they love and trust him almost as much as me.



The feeding may help, but I think it's important to keep his profile low and his movements slow and quiet. Try not to feel anxious about wanting the interaction because that will only add to Davidson's level of stress.

Most times the tact of ignoring them and they will come to you works over time.
 
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babyharley

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Originally Posted by tru

I'm wondering what kind of work John does. I ask because of what environmental smells he may have clinging to him when he comes home.

Is he a large man? Prone to sudden movements? Very deep or loud voice?

I know that many times a lot of my cats will get spooked easily by my house-mate because he tends to be louder and faster moving than I. Wearing shoes can also make a difference.

One of our cats always bolts if Steve coughs when in the same room, whereas I can cough and he will just lay on my lap. It sometimes bothers Steve that some of the cats will spook so easy, but for the most part they love and trust him almost as much as me.



The feeding may help, but I think it's important to keep his profile low and his movements slow and quiet. Try not to feel anxious about wanting the interaction because that will only add to Davidson's level of stress.

Most times the tact of ignoring them and they will come to you works over time.
John works in the Body Shop (car repair) business- he's a tech that works on cars. He doesn't do any sudden movements around him, and doesn't have a super deep voice either.

He does smoke tho (cigarettes) maybe he just associates the smell with him b/c he doesn't like it?
 

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It could be the way he smells. Do you wrinkle your nose at him when he comes home?
If the smell bothers you at all it's sure to offend some kitties.
 
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babyharley

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Originally Posted by strange_wings

It could be the way he smells. Do you wrinkle your nose at him when he comes home?
If the smell bothers you at all it's sure to offend some kitties.
No, I think he smells good


John doesn't go near Davidson until he's showered either, so I have no idea what his deal is!
 

strange_wings

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Aside from making him feed the cats, I'm out of ideas.

Leave him on the floor covered in catnip? tuna? or a new blend of catnip, tuna juice, and feliway cologne?
 
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babyharley

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Originally Posted by strange_wings

Aside from making him feed the cats, I'm out of ideas.

Leave him on the floor covered in catnip? tuna? or a new blend of catnip, tuna juice, and feliway cologne?
Thats quite the combo!!
 

larke

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This is very common (though each cat will react more strongly or less so than others) and I think it's a recognition in a male cat's eyes of the 'man of the house' (relative to you, his female), which makes the cat afraid of him. A lot of my males have done it, some almost not at all, others more obviously, and there's little 'the man' can do but be consistently very gentle and slow moving around the cat, not push for pats, etc., and accept the cat's built-in feelings. Now, female cats may not give you the time of day, but snuggle like mad with your husband and play up to him! Apparently neither gender has read any politically correct feminist books lately!
 

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Mackenzie Sophie is exactly the same when Gil comes down and i've no idea either because Gil would never shout or hurt my two in anyway (pfftt he wouldn't dare!)

When he comes down Rosie's all over him, but i always put it down to her being used to having a male in the house from her being a kitten when i was with my ex.

Like Davidson, Sophie is a mummy's girl through and through
but it's so funny when Gil comes down because while she walks past him she looks at him as if to say "Are you still here!!"
 

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I don't know what to tell you to do any different, maybe Davidson is just afraid of John because he associates him with the vet?

I am sending some prayers and hugs from Mississippi for Davidson that he will learn to love John.

 

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I think you've been given some great tips here, and I don't have anything to add. I just wanted to wish you the best of luck, and I'm sure Davidson will come around
 

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Oh no, I am so sorry things are like this!

I really hope little Davidson comes around. Maybe it is the cigarette smoke he doesnt like, if thats really the only thing he does thats different to you.
I hope John feeding him does the trick!
 
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