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Ok......got a question and need answer.

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
Ya'all know from me posting a week ago that my brother kinda stepped outta line by doing what he did, right? (hope ya remember,lol) anyhoo-my dauhters bday is this weekend, and I am wanting to plan a party at Pizza Hut and dont really think I want to invite my brother, but yet kinda feel obligated. I havent talked to him since any of that happened, and my mom is trying to be the "peacemaker" and wants me to invite him. Soooooooooooooo honesty here please, what should I do??
post #2 of 12
I haven't spoken to my brother in years, so my opinion might not be what you are looking for, but it is just my opinion.

The way I see it is this: If your family member treats you worse than he would a friend, then he deserves to be excluded.

My brother treated me terribly for years and years, so I no longer speak to him - why should I waste my breath and time on someone that really doesn't love me and is only connected by blood? Life is WAAAY too short.
post #3 of 12
Umm nope. he wouldn't be invited if I were throwing a B-day party.
post #4 of 12
the way I see it, it's your daughter's b-day.....would she want him there? If she would, then invite him, if she wouldn't then don't, if she's too young to care, then go with your gut!
post #5 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuckyGirl View Post
the way I see it, it's your daughter's b-day.....would she want him there? If she would, then invite him, if she wouldn't then don't, if she's too young to care, then go with your gut!
I agree. It's really up to you though. Don't let your mom tell you what to do, go with what you feel is right.
post #6 of 12
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuckyGirl View Post
the way I see it, it's your daughter's b-day.....would she want him there? If she would, then invite him, if she wouldn't then don't, if she's too young to care, then go with your gut!
Well she will be 3, but she really probly wont care either way..... I mean she loves her uncle to death, but yet still too young to fully understand. And I mean to me, lifes way too short to stay mad about petty stuff..but on the other hand, I dont feel like I should kiss his butt either.
post #7 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by catloverin_ks View Post
Well she will be 3, but she really probly wont care either way..... I mean she loves her uncle to death, but yet still too young to fully understand. And I mean to me, lifes way too short to stay mad about petty stuff..but on the other hand, I dont feel like I should kiss his butt either.
I would say if she loves her uncle to death, then she would probably want him to be there.

You have to be real careful here, I did not get along with one of my husbands sisters and later one of his brothers. But that was always their (my childrens) aunt and uncle. You don't want to turn your little girl against her uncle.

My children are much older than your little girl, but when my kids got around 13 or so, I let them make up their own minds about their aunt and uncle. They no longer want to even be around them now because they have seen what kind of stuff their aunt and uncle pull. When my son got married he didn't even want them at his wedding so he didn't invite them.

Your little girl is too young to make her own decisions, but if she loves him, you don't want to do anything to that.

Even though you and him don't get along, there is nothing to say that he won't always be there for your little girl.
post #8 of 12
I agree that ultimately it is your decision, but if your daughter is crazy about him you have to take that into consideration. If you do decide to invite him, you may want to word it somehow letting him know he is being invited because she would miss him, and not let him think everything is ok. Be civil to him at the party, but keep distance between you. Its entirely up to you though.
post #9 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuckyGirl View Post
the way I see it, it's your daughter's b-day.....would she want him there? If she would, then invite him, if she wouldn't then don't, if she's too young to care, then go with your gut!
I agree with this. I will add one more thing though. Since it is your daughters birthday party and there will be children there including her- please do not invite your brother if you know ya'll are going to wind up fighting. It is not acceptable to do in front of children or at a birthday party- so if you think there is a chance that fight/arugment might break out there- i wouldn't invite him. Otherwise though- if you two can bite your tougnes and be civil for the party- then go for it. I'm sure your little girl would like to see her uncle
post #10 of 12
My mum and uncle are pretty much the same, we only see eachother once a year at christmas.

If you want to avoid a fight or tension, and it is a special b'day that your daughter should enjoy, don't invite him. Dont feel guilted by your mother either, just be strong
post #11 of 12
Yup all the above.

It's your daughters birthday...so even if she was best friends with brattiest kid in the neighborhood you would still have to invite the bratty kid.
post #12 of 12
Thread Starter 
Thanks all for your honest answers. I have been thinking about emailing him this week and seeing if he responds. I heard last night that hes REALLY sick so......I kinda feel guilty. I think I will totally leave it up to him, and let him know he is invited. If you ask my DD whos going to be at her party, thats one person she ALWAYS mentions, so I feel it is right to invite him. It will be hard to keep my mouth shut, but I *think* I can do it,hehe.
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