Question about behavior/intro with a stray and our 2 cats

Our neighbor upstairs found a stray a few days ago but couldn't keep it. According to the vet the cat is 7 lbs, and is about 6 or 7 months old. She has been in heat although it is calming down today. He said that cats are actually more submissive when in heat (making it a good time to introduce the cat to our other 2), but I have heard the opposite. Does anyone have experience with this?

We already have Paddy, an 11 month old cat that is about 10-11 lbs, and Teddy, an 8 month old cat that is probably only 5 lbs.
At first, there was a lot of hissing and growling from the new cat when our 2 would go near the bathroom door. She quickly became curious and from the moment we took her in, Teddy was trying to meet her. Teddy is VERY friendly, and I've never seen her hiss (until today).
The first time I let the new cat explore, Paddy followed her everywhere and kept hissing, while the new cat tried to ignore and continue exploring, trying to avoid confrontation. Today I decided to try again and this time put Paddy in another room so that Teddy (who is much more friendly) could meet the new cat without Paddy hissing at her.
They actually played chase a little bit, but this cat seems to play MUCH more rough with Teddy than Paddy does with Teddy. In fact, she was swatting at Teddy so hard Teddy hissed (the first time I've ever seen it happen). However, when Paddy plays to rough Teddy usually makes a squeeking noise and runs away, but she didn't do this, she just hissed. Afterwards, every time the new cat came near Teddy she backed away.
Is this new cat trying to dominate Teddy, or is it likely that she just doesn't really know how to play without getting too rough?

I'm very nervous about letting them interact more if this behavior is a warning sign that this new cat doesn't know how to live well with other cats. Teddy has never showed signs of aggression, and has been trying to play with the new cat since we took her in. But this cat got so rough Teddy actually stopped wanting to play, and even started walking away every time this cat came near Teddy.

Paddy was able to open the door after about 20 minutes, and she hissed at the new cat. The cat hissed back, so Paddy hissed once more and lifted a paw (but from about 2 feet away) and the new cat just walked away. Paddy then just kept following her from room to room, hissing when the new cat got near a toy, and would then just lay down where she could keep an eye on the new cat.
Should I take more time to keep the new cat in the bathroom? Does it sound like I'm letting them interact too soon? This new cat shows no fear of the sounds in our apartment, and no fear of our cats that already live here. She ignores Paddy's hisses, and just keeps exploring, rather than retreating to her "safe room" or bathroom where we've been keeping her since Friday.
Does anyone have any suggestions or advice? I'd really like this cat to work out, especially since Teddy is around the same age as this cat I hoped they would get along, but it seems like this cat may be too big/rough for her.

Thank you for rescuing this kitty!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ideally, the stray kitty should be spayed before she comes home. But either way, she should be kept in a separate room initially. This is true for ALL new cat introductions - hand raised, stray, shelter rescue, fostered, hand raised.

Cats are territory oriented, and when they are brought into a new territory, they are scared, period. Kittens are often to make the adjustment quickly, but older cats really do so much better being confined to a smaller space initially.

A lot of people are willing to add a screen door to the "new cat" room. The cats can all smell each other initially under the door. If they're just curious, then you can try opening the door, and letting them meet through the screen door.

If you're not willing to go this far, just keep her confined initially. Put water and food on one side of the room, and one or two litter boxes on the other. Make sure she's got lots of hidey places - boxes are great.

Spend as much time as you can in the room. Read out loud. Put a radio in there with classical music. Just let her get used to you and the new environment first.

In the meantime, take some hand towels or rags and rub your kitties with them. Put them under her food dishes. Take some more, and rub your other kitties with them. Leave them out for her regularly with treats on them.

Do the same thing for your other kitties. Rub her all over with a wash cloth or whatever, and put it out with treats on it for them.

These steps will help the kitties associate good things with each others' smells.

For initial meetings, rub your kitties behind the ears and at the tail with vanilla. This will help confuse the smells. Some kind of barrier between them really is best (that's why the screen door). If there's hissing and spitting, you know it's too early for actual intros.

But waiting until she's comfortable with you and her room will also help a lot. It'll be her safe space.

Here's a link to socializing ferals. Because she's stray, a lot won't apply - but there are great suggestions that may help her adjust more quickly: http://straypetadvocacy.org/html/soc...feral_cat.html

And here's a link to Introducing New Cats: http://www.thecatsite.com/Behavior/4...cing-Cats.html

Hope these suggestions help, and if you have more questions, please feel free to ask away!

You also may want to consider reading Lucky's Story. It's a long read, and Lucky was a slightly older feral - but what they did is so helpful to people making new intros: http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=11395

Hope this helps!!!!!!!!!

Laurie

The hissing means you're letting them interact too soon. The bathroom is too small a room (usually) in which to confine an adult stray or feral - a bedroom or guest room is really best if the other cats didn't normally spend a LOT of time in there.

But hissing, batting and growling are very normal for initial cat intros. The existing cats are pissed about new cats in their territory - and the new cat is in a new territory that it doesn't know. She needs a place that is "hers," and once they get used to each other, then supervised intros for short periods of time - after initial meetings result in no hissing - gradually getting longer, and letting her out of "her" space to explore for short periods of time is really the way to go.

If you don't have a separate room, then the bathroom will have to do for a week or two. You may want to shut your existing kitties in the bedroom or whatever for a few hours a day while you let new kitty out to explore. This will also help existing kitties get used to new scent in "their" territories.

But keep doing the treat switching. Even put a bed out for new kitty, and if you have beds for existing kitties, you can switch the beds around.

The whole point is for everyone to get comfortable with the new smells, and to slowly let new kitty get used to her new territory.

After that, there will be some batting and hissing as they work out the new hierarchy and who gets where - but that is normal. However, it goes a LOT better if new kitty is separated for some time and you let it go more slowly.

Laurie

You can also consider purchasing Feliway or the Feliway plug-ins (availabe at Petsmart and many pet stores). This often helps calm down the multi cat household at new intros.

You can also try Flower Essences to help calm everyone down:

http://www.catfaeries.com
http://www.petsynergy.com/flower.html

Catnip toys help too. Don't leave them down -cats get immune to them. Just put them out for a few hours and pick them up, and only put them down once every week or two.

Laurie

Originally Posted by LDG

The hissing means you're letting them interact too soon. The bathroom is too small a room (usually) in which to confine an adult stray or feral - a bedroom or guest room is really best if the other cats didn't normally spend a LOT of time in there.

But hissing, batting and growling are very normal for initial cat intros. The existing cats are pissed about new cats in their territory - and the new cat is in a new territory that it doesn't know. She needs a place that is "hers," and once they get used to each other, then supervised intros for short periods of time - after initial meetings result in no hissing - gradually getting longer, and letting her out of "her" space to explore for short periods of time is really the way to go.

If you don't have a separate room, then the bathroom will have to do for a week or two. You may want to shut your existing kitties in the bedroom or whatever for a few hours a day while you let new kitty out to explore. This will also help existing kitties get used to new scent in "their" territories.

But keep doing the treat switching. Even put a bed out for new kitty, and if you have beds for existing kitties, you can switch the beds around.

The whole point is for everyone to get comfortable with the new smells, and to slowly let new kitty get used to her new territory.

After that, there will be some batting and hissing as they work out the new hierarchy and who gets where - but that is normal. However, it goes a LOT better if new kitty is separated for some time and you let it go more slowly.

Laurie

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Thanks for your advice. For now, the only place where we can close the door off is our bedroom or the bathroom, so we're keeping her in the bathroom. When our bedroom door is closed, our cats scratch to get through and pull/tear up the carpet.
When I switched and put Paddy in the bathroom, she scratched at the door the entire time and tried to open it (and eventually was able to open the door). She is the one that hisses at the new cat because it's "her territory."
Teddy on the other hand wants to play. This is what I'm concerned about. I know that Paddy will accept the new cat, because she accepted Teddy. They cuddle up to each other and play often, and if Paddy gets too rough and Teddy makes a noise like she's in pain, Paddy immediately stops and walks away realizing what she's done.
The new cat and Teddy were playing chase, and climbing up onto things and swatting at each other, wrestling around playfully, and chasing each other. But the new cat got way too rough and Teddy became scared of her. What concerns me is that this new cat either doesn't realize her own strength and doens't know how to play properly without getting too rough, or she's trying to show Teddy that she's more dominant. Both scare me, because I won't have Teddy living here with a new cat that Teddy has to be scared of. I've never seen a cat swat that hard at another during play, and I'm not really sure if it was play or if this new cat was trying to hurt Teddy to scare her.
I guess I'm already just unsure of whether or not this cat will fit in. I feel like Teddy has already accepted this cat, but the new cat doesn't understand how to play without hurting.
I'm not sure if that's something that can even be dealt with, or if a cat that is too rough with other cats is capable of learning how to play less rough. If anyone has ever been in this situation I'd be open to suggestions. I've never had a cat that accepted the newcomer the second it entered the house, but the newcomer was way too rough (but appeared to be playing, just way too rough).

I just don't know what to suggest.

One of our rescues, Ming Loy, just doesn't get cat language. She lunges at and jumps on the other cats, and at first there was a lot of hissing and batting and large tufts of fur flying around the house. But she's not big, and she's not strong enough to be too rough - she's handicapped. And the other cats figured that out, and they now either ignore her and just run away and jump up onto something (she can't jump) if they want to get away from her, or they give her a bat on the head and just move along - but they don't hiss and fight back at her anymore. I don't know what would have happened if she were larger and not handicapped.

On the other hand, our rescue, Tuxedo, was the meanest little feral you've ever seen. He sent one member of the colony to the vet for stitches. He damaged pretty well several other cats. And this was when he was less than half their size. When Gary would put out food, Tuxie was this little ball of hissing spitting fur - and Gary wasn't even going near him. We deemed him unadoptable, because he was just sooooooo mean - to us and to other cats.

Well, Winter came, and that year was like this one is right now - below 0 temperatures, horrible wind chills. Tuxie wouldn't stay in the shelters we'd built. He kept turning up with insulation fluff on him, and Gary was freaking about it. So we found a new boarding facility that was basically empty, and the lady agreed to take him - and work with him. We visited every few days, but one week we couldn't get over there. She called us to say that every time she let him out he was peeing on the carpet. So we immediately got him to the vet (a UTI, of course). We were going to leave him at the vet until we could find a foster. But he wouldn't eat. Every time we visited, he'd jump out the cage into Gary's arms. But he was wasting away. The vet finally said the only way to save this cat was for us to take him - he had obviously bonded with Gary.

We lived in an RV, had NO separate room, and already had three cats and one foster. We were scared to death, but brought him home.

We never had a single incident. It was as if he'd been part of our home with all those cats the whole time.

So.... I don't know what to say or recommend. Since you really can't keep her confined to a separate room, allowing intros to go slowly enough that she learns not to fight or be too aggressive...

Maybe start looking for a new home for her. Someone who understands her special needs. Consider her a kitty you're fostering, and in the meantime, see how things go. ???? And keep a can with coins in it handy to shake whenever it gets too rough (the loud noise scares them out of the rumble).

With six cats, we do get fur flying pretty often. Lazlo - a big cat - 14 pounds and thin - tall, long and lean - all muscle - and Tuxedo - 10 pounds, shorter, smaller - frequently battle over just who is going to be alpha. I'd say every few days we hear HUGE growels (Tuxie manages to sound like a cougar!), giant hissing - and we jump to see what's gone on - and just see a bunch of fleeing cats, tails puffed and some fur drifting around. No one gets terrible hurt, and depending upon who "won," when one walks past the other, the one who's not walking growels at the other to let them know they want a wide berth. We know it goes on when we're not around - you can see the tufts of fur.

Giving up either cat is totally out of the question, so we let them fight their little battles. They don't like each other, they don't play together - but they each get along with all the other cats, and the worst that happens is a good, solid scratch on the nose or head somewhere from time-to-time. They've got lots of space and most importantly, lots of vertical space. We have cat trees in just about every room in this house except the kitchen, and this has helped.



Laurie