Tough decision...what to do about Cuddles

I am sending many prayers as well

I am weighing in late here, and I only read a few of the early posts which all seem to say euthanize her. I STONGLY DISAGREE!!!! You said she is sweet and somewhat trusting and comfortable with you. Your only problem is you cannot rescue any other cats. well so what??? oBVIOUSLY THIS IS THE ONE THAT NEEDS YOU NOW AND YES, MAYBNE FOR THE NEXT 5 YEARS. You should not throw her away because you think you can do more good elsewhere, to the point where you will eutanize a perfectly healthy cat?
Please figure something else out, before you do that.

I also had a lot of luck with installing a screen door when we got Scully!

Originally Posted by katiemae1277

I just have one last thing to say before I exit, because I am getting upset with this whole thing, and that is that MENTAL health is just as important as PHYSICAL health in a cat, and often mental anguish can manifest itself into physical illness, so should be allow Cuddles to live in constant fear, just to prove that she can be rehabilatated? my anwer is no, I am very against cats living out their lives in cages, I am against keeping a cat in a situation that is extremely stressful whether its in a cage or not, and that is where Cuddles is.

Thank you Momofmany for extending a helping hand

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So if Cuddles was with you, you would choose to put her to sleep rather than devote yourself to working with her? In Jen's original post she mentioned that doing that was taking the easy way out... She has not exhausted all avenues in trying to rehabilitate Cuddles, which means Cuddles doesn't even stand a chance to show what she can do or how far she can come.
I wonder how many members on TCS wouldn't have the cats that they have with them today if they had this mindset.

Originally Posted by squirtle

I wonder how many members on TCS wouldn't have the cats that they have with them today if they had this mindset.

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I know 7 of mine wouldn't be here today They were all born feral and had to go
through months of emotional stress and two of them still do,Swift still has bad nightmares and Raffles still is petrified when he hears fireworks or thunderstorms.But those are very few and far between,but the main thing is they are happy now.

The debate is going to be even more emotional that the declaw debate we get into. I have a suggestion for everyone here.

Rather than putting energy into debating the topic, can we all put some energy into helping Jen in finding a home (foster or permanent) for Cuddles? I've been in Jen's shoes and I can tell you it really sucks. Everyone has an opinion on it, but all you really want when you are in this situation is a helping hand. Please don't anyone take this as a criticism. We are the TCS community and let's rally around this poor baby!!!

I've reached out to a local senior rescue group to obtain advice for Jen. They only cats they rescue could all be Cuddles. I'm hoping to either find a comparable group in her area or some specific advice on how to place Cuddles.

I had another thought this morning. No More Homeless Pets in my area represents a coalition of rescue groups and is not a rescue per say. Is there anyone in the Ohio area that works with them or knows how to contact them? Ads on petfinder and craigslist are obviously not working and Jen needs some folks experienced in her situation. NMHP could perhaps reach out to a number of organizations for help.

Can anyone make some calls on Jen's behalf? Is anyone within a reasonable distance of Jen that can call around their area and help placement? Can anyone help transport Cuddles if it comes to that? Would anyone be willing to place ads in areas close to Jen?

Let's put the power of this community together please!!

And mods, if you want to break this into a separate thread about "Let's all help Cuddles", please do so.

Alrighty then. I just pinged the president of NMHP in my area for help. I've met her a couple times and hope she remembers me and has time to help. No promises as she is a very busy woman.

I'm at the opposite end of Ohio than Jen, but am more than willing to put out some feelers about placement for Cuddles and help with transport if needed. I have a meeting this morning, but will send out some emails when I get home this afternoon.

Jen, I know this is an emotional situation for you (and all of us) because you're so invested in Cuddles' welfare. You've got my respect and gratitude for what you doing for her. I believe the right home is out for the Cuddles and will do everything I can to help.

Originally Posted by Momofmany

Rather than putting energy into debating the topic, can we all put some energy into helping Jen in finding a home (foster or permanent) for Cuddles? I've been in Jen's shoes and I can tell you it really sucks. Everyone has an opinion on it, but all you really want when you are in this situation is a helping hand. Please don't anyone take this as a criticism. We are the TCS community and let's rally around this poor baby!!!

Can anyone make some calls on Jen's behalf? Is anyone within a reasonable distance of Jen that can call around their area and help placement? Can anyone help transport Cuddles if it comes to that? Would anyone be willing to place ads in areas close to Jen?

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I HAVE seen posts where people have given names or said they have made calls/emailed people on Jen's behalf about Cuddles and I know I have also sent emails to or called the few contacts I have in OH even though they are not near Jen as they may know someone who does. Just because it isn't posted here, doesn't mean it is not going on and doesn't meant that Jen may not have ben informed about it. I also think it is important for all of us not to say 'oh I called these 15 people' because as Jen has stated, she is making a difficult decision, and it is not fair to get her hopes up... as we all know with rescues, 100 calls can turn up nothing at times when places are busy

BUT as long as the mods do not have to step in because of flaming etc, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and to post it when Jen came here asking for them

Originally Posted by Momofmany

...Rather than putting energy into debating the topic, can we all put some energy into helping Jen in finding a home (foster or permanent) for Cuddles?

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EXACTLY my thinking as I lay awake here last night until 3:30am.

Jen - I'm really sorry I got involved in the essentially off-topic discussion of "when do you euthanize" as opposed to addressing your actual question, "What do I do?"

Originally Posted by Momofmany

I've been in Jen's shoes and I can tell you it really sucks. Everyone has an opinion on it, but all you really want when you are in this situation is a helping hand. Please don't anyone take this as a criticism. We are the TCS community and let's rally around this poor baby!!!

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As always, Amy, you are SO right!

Originally Posted by momofmany

I had another thought this morning. No More Homeless Pets in my area represents a coalition of rescue groups and is not a rescue per say. Is there anyone in the Ohio area that works with them or knows how to contact them? Ads on petfinder and craigslist are obviously not working and Jen needs some folks experienced in her situation. NMHP could perhaps reach out to a number of organizations for help.

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I'd already posted a link to the NMHP page at Best Friends. I didn't presume to write to them on Jen's behalf, but I did include the e-mail address in my former post so Jen can contact them. It may well be that there's someone in the network in her area.

And Jen, I'm sorry to have been talking about you in the third person.

What I outlined last night in my mind was this:

Your basic question is "Help! What do I do?"

Apart from those of us that can contacting people, as Amy suggested, there is the NMHP, which should be contacted. Please e-mail them! They've really been of help to us before in co-ordinating rescues in places we can't get to and have no contacts.

So after the "Help" part of the issue, there's the "What do I do?" part of the question.

And it is a crappy situation to be in. To offer to help, only to be lied to, and then be stuck with an animal in a situation that just isn't right for anyone. In the meantime, Cuddles is there, and the options boil down to this:

A) Continue fostering Cuddles while a new foster or a permanent home that understands her needs is found;
B) Continue fostering Cuddles while an appropriate shelter that can take her but not kill her is found.

Finding A Rescue/Shelter/New Foster: Apart from people here helping, I assume you've already done this, but have you searched at http://www.pets911.com for shelters and rescue orgs in your area? If not, you should consider it. There may be people/orgs listed in your area that you're not already familiar with. Blast out e-mails and leave voice mails.

Getting her adopted: I don't know how experienced you are with writing brochures or ads, but just in case you're not already familiar with these resources, here are a few potentially helpful links:

How to write Pet Profiles (At the Best Friends/NMHP library)

I assume you're already familiar with the idea of placing ads, creating brochures, &etc., but again, this is from the NMHP Resource Library: How to Find Homes for Homeless Pets. A number of the suggestions here aren't appropriate for your situation, but some may be. It's worth a quick look through if you haven't read it before.

They also have a quick-and-easy method to create a Flyer: http://www.bestfriends.org/nomorehom...flyermaker.cfm

In the meantime, while you continue to search for a new home or foster for Cuddles, there are some things you can do to help reduce her stress. Again, if you're already familiar with these, please don't take offense. I have no idea what your level of knowledge with regards to difficult fosters/introductions is.

The screen door in addition to the existing door are a great starting place.

You can also consider:

Taking a few hand towels, wash cloths or rags (preferable if there's no fabric softener smell on them) and rub them on your existing cats. From time to time, but frequently, place them in Cuddles room with treats on them.

You can also place "other cat smell" cloths under her food and water.

These steps will help her come to associate other cats with good things.

From "Introducing Cats.....I'd Like You To Meet" (in the Cat Behavior section of the TCS site - this is the link: http://www.thecatsite.com/Behavior/4...ing-Cats.html),

"Check your linen closet for an old blanket you don't care much about and give this to the new cat to lay on. If the newcomer does not show any interest in the blanket, you can rub some catnip on it, or spray some catnip on it to entice her to consider rolling around all over it. The purpose of this blanket is to saturate it with the newcomer's smell.

Play interactive games on top of the blanket, using a feather or a string, so the kitty gets it good and covered with her scent. Let her have this blanket for a few days then take the blanket out and without washing it, leave it in the corner for your resident cat to find. When resident cat approaches the blanket, observe closely the body language. Normal language would be sniffing, pawing, and even growling. Warning signs would be flattened ears, twitching tail and hissing, if you see any of these warning signs, you may be in for a bit of a battle when the two first initially meet.

Let resident kitty do what he or she wants to the blanket, let him/her have it for a few days. Rub resident kitty all over with the blanket, play interactive games on top of it. Then, still not washing it (yep, probably pretty grungy about now). Turn around and give it back to the newcomer. Let the new one have the blanket for a day or so, and watch the body language looking again for any warning signs.

Take the blanket, and if it will fit, lay it flat on the floor underneath the door that separates the two cats. Shut the door, so now the blanket lies on each side of the rooms and feed both cats on top of the blanket near the door. This way they will be able to smell each other through the crack in the door, plus they will smell each other "blended" on the blanket as well. You will be able to observe what type of reaction each cat presents at this time. Put tasty treats on the blanket so they will acquaint each other's smells with pleasant associations."


If I think of other links or resources that may help, I'll post.

It's a really difficult situation, but I hope that if we can't help find you an appropriate home, foster, or shelter for this kitty, or that at the very least we can help provide the resources that will help you find the right situation, have a place where it is safe to vent your frustrations while you work on it, and help provide information you can use to help Cuddles become less stressed while you look for the right situation for her.

Oh - Feliway may help. And Flower Essences may also help: http://www.catfaeries.com.

Also, catnip toys may help. You probably already know this, but cats develop "tolerance" for catnip, so only put catnip toys out every week or two, and make sure you don't leave them out. You may even want to consider giving her a catnip toy that has just been licked and rubbed all over by one of your resident cats. This will also help her associate good things with other cat smells.

Amy - maybe this should be broken down into 2 new threads, one of them titled "Making the best of a difficult situation" for other ideas on how to help reduce both Cuddles and Jen's stress.

Jen - you are SO not alone! Sorry I jumped on the question of euthanization before realizing the actual issue is providing help. It's just that was the direction the thread was taking, and I felt it needed to be addressed. But FurryFerals and Amy opened the door to the real work - providing help and ideas.

Laurie

I just want Jen to know that I am thinking of her and her situation with Cuddles.

I am still sending her hugs and prayers from Mississippi.

Thanks again guys. I have checked Pet FBI and emailed a lady I know that runs Heaven Can Wait right here in Akron I think it is. Hopefully she would know of some helpful suggestions for Cuddles. Maybe she knows a senior cat rescue in the area. Or not in the area. I can travel to get her to the right place and maybe set up a transport. So if you live in PA or anywhere in Ohio, even N.Kentucky too and you know of a quiet one or two person home with no other pets and someone who is patient and caring...

That is alright that the thread was a bit off the topic of helping Cuddles. That is what a discussion forum is all about. Everyone is so kind about it on TCS that is doesn't really matter too much. I have seen other forums that get off topic and people get really mean and rude to each other or the thread gets closed too quickley to steer it back on path.

Anyways, I am going to my moms tomorrow so I am going to use up all the ink on their computer to make up fliers for Cuddles. I will look over the links provided too for some extra help.

Thanks.

I am glad that people have come up with some options, and do hope that one of them works, and that a good solution can be found for her, I can't imagine how she must be feeling, as her whole world has been turned upside down - and I am assuming you weren't told she was like this when you took her on, so it could be a reaction to the situation or it could be this is her true self - if the latter, finding a placement will be hard (I was lucky enough to be able to adopt my 13yo un-human friendly foster, but have been in your situation before - I just had 13 months of issues before thinking about it). Sadly, finding homes for senior cats is always hard, and as a result, some rescues (at least in the UK) will turn them away as they will take up space for a long period of time - it really is a hard 'group' to work with - and when you have people turning down an 8 year old cos they think it is too old, it is incredibly frustrating!!

Originally Posted by Jen

Thanks again guys. I have checked Pet FBI and emailed a lady I know that runs Heaven Can Wait right here in Akron I think it is. Hopefully she would know of some helpful suggestions for Cuddles. Maybe she knows a senior cat rescue in the area. Or not in the area. I can travel to get her to the right place and maybe set up a transport. So if you live in PA or anywhere in Ohio, even N.Kentucky too and you know of a quiet one or two person home with no other pets and someone who is patient and caring...

That is alright that the thread was a bit off the topic of helping Cuddles. That is what a discussion forum is all about. Everyone is so kind about it on TCS that is doesn't really matter too much. I have seen other forums that get off topic and people get really mean and rude to each other or the thread gets closed too quickley to steer it back on path.

Anyways, I am going to my moms tomorrow so I am going to use up all the ink on their computer to make up fliers for Cuddles. I will look over the links provided too for some extra help.

Thanks.

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Hang in there Jen, I am sure everything will work out.

I heard back from my friend and she recommend you try
Advocates For Animals, Inc. Tel: 740-373-0017
She doesn't know anyone personally there but thinks they are your best bet in OH

Originally Posted by icklemiss21

I heard back from my friend and she recommend you try
Advocates For Animals, Inc. Tel: 740-373-0017
She doesn't know anyone personally there but thinks they are your best bet in OH

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I hope it works for Jen

Originally Posted by Yorda

I fostered a pair of 16-year-old cats a few years back that desperately wanted attention but the female would nip and air snap if you touched her back. She would seek out attention and crawl up onto your lap and look at you with the most beautiful, loving expression…so it was hard to know if she simply didnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t like petting there or if it was from the stress of losing her home of 16 years. After we took her to the vet and did blood work we found out that there was a lot going on and that it actually HURT her to be petted.

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I have not finished reading this entire thread, so forgive me if this has been further disscussed, but this was my thought exactly. Maybe she is in pain and it hurts to be touched? She seems, from what the OP said, to like attention, just not close attention involving touching, and men scare her. It is possible that she is in pain, and/or was abused by a man. I know I dont understand the extent of this situation, but if it were me, I think I would get her into the vet to be checked, and then if she is healthy, continue to work with her, slowly on her terms, and see if she comes around to trusting again. This poor baby has been through a lot. I know if my Trixter, who is 10, was to be abandoned by my family and left with a stranger, he would VERY likely be far more aggressive than Cuddles is being, and he would be depressed, scared and stressed out, too. Sending lots of prayers that this works out. I do not agree with putting a healthy cat to sleep so soon, without giving her time to adjust to losing the only caregivers and home she has ever known. She needs time to grieve and adjust just like anyone else.

I shall finish reading this thread now.

I also have called the director of the rescue group that I get a lot of my kitties from, and she said she does not have the resources but she will ask around, but most of the shleter/rescues or absolutely deluged with cats right now, so she's not really optimistic

Originally Posted by katiemae1277

I also have called the director of the rescue group that I get a lot of my kitties from, and she said she does not have the resources but she will ask around, but most of the shleter/rescues or absolutely deluged with cats right now, so she's not really optimistic

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And this is why I haven't just called random shelters. I know they are all stuffed to the lid with cat and like I said, I don't want her in a cage. But thanks for asking around, I do appreciate it.

I am still sending prayers and hugs from Mississippi for you Jen